It's never been easy to imagine how wars can end peacefully, specially because for the most part, regardless of the conflict, both sides think they are right. Honestly, it doesn't matter on what side of the conversation you stand, you are probably struggling as am I right now, to be objective about this whole thing.

We try, certainly I try, to be a better person every day, to be forgiving, to learn that not everything that people do is because they hate me or hate people that I love. It's really difficult, I won't lie, I won't sit here and say that I don't struggle with the same fears that everyone else does.

And When it comes to my experience of Steem, my plans for Steem, I have the same fears as everyone else...

What if the ride ends?

What happens if we don't make the right choices, if we end up eating each other alive because we are so busy blaming others for all the problems that we have. Of course, I can only speak for myself, and as flawed human the fear of losing something precious, this thing, this journey that I've been building for almost a year now sounds heart breaking.

But what might be important to understand is that I'm not alone on that fear, that I'm not the only one who wonders at times if we are going to survive the experiment, if we are going to create the right kind of culture that will result in abundance and peace. After all, that is what we want, right? We all want to be in a place that we enjoy, that makes us excited to participate of, that feeds our mind and soul. I can say that is what I want, and maybe naively I hope to be in the majority.

So, everytime I see one of the flag wars start, everytime I see how we attack each other as if on the other side of the screen a human is not present. I can't help but to wonder if we are repeating the same mistakes all over again, the ones we wanted to escape from, the heartless corporate world, the greed, the enslaving system that eroded our freedom to choose and made us come flocking into this little experiment based on a cryptocurrency. Why do we love copy paste so much, that even here we are making the same mistakes we've done before?

So here we are standing almost ten months later and it seems at times we are still not moving forward. If I'm allowed to ask, if I'm allowed to be so upfront about this at least this one time, I just wanna say: How does this pan out? What is supposed to happen? What is the better choice?

Let's leave emotions aside, nicknames, insults, accusations, for only one minute. Pretend everyone engulfed in the discussion is sitting in front of a table sharing a little tray of peanuts. Pretend, that somehow you all got tricked into having to see each others faces, having to talk to each other. There is nothing to do, not TVs, no distractions. All you have left is that human, that fellow human right in front of you.

How do you want our little reunion to happen? What if it could be pleasant? What if we could laugh about something silly? What if we could agree on more than we disagree? What if?

I've you made up your mind before you even got to the table, then my friend, you already lost. And that is the only thing I'm trying to address here, the only thing that matters.

Here is what I think I know... and I say I think, because I only know what I can see, but indulge me.

@fulltimegeek is a flawed human being who is always trying to put his values forward. He acts selfless as much as anyone could ever ask him to be. Is he perfect? of course not, I just said he was flawed, just like me, just like you, but I can recognize in him intent to be a force for good. He's never asked for money for his delegations, he's never asked anyone to upvote him back, yet he has given a lot.

I also see a man who is very protective, who wants to defend STEEM because he is passionate, because he believes that it's true potential has not been tapped, not even a little bit. What are you to expect from someone with that mission? What can we expect from someone who is fighting in his way, mind you, to keep the boat from sinking?

And... on the other spectrum I see @haejin

A man who has taken more abuse and more insults than possibly anybody else ever on this platform. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe someone can show me someone else who has been insulted, memed to death, threatened with death and that threat even included his family. Please, I'm not implying perfection, I'm not implying victimhood here, I'm attempting to give everyone some balanced perspective on this matter.

Let's be honest with ourselves, because we ought to: How would it feel to be hated so much, by almost everyone for months? And then, once you land two feet into that practice in empathy. Ask yourself what would you do?

I'm not trying to rehash specifics of the fights, of the arguments, of the accusations, that's not my point nor do I think it to be productive. What I am trying to say is that if we can't see whole picture, then we can't even begin to heal, and it's obvious that it's necessary.

I want to be clear, I'm not implying moral superiority, Who am I to be prosecutor and the jury? I'm saying that we lost control of this "battle" because it actually never had to become one in the first place.

I'm going to do the crazy thing and apologize to @haejin and @fulltimegeek for my role on this thing. I probably should have said something before, I probably should have tried harder. At times it feels like a voice like mine holds little weight, but I've only been fooling myself.

In a way, we all want the same. We want STEEM to do well, we want people to enjoy this place, to have fun, we want to enjoy financial fortitude, freedom. We just have been disagreeing on how to get there, and fighting over the path to be chosen.

I know @fulltimegeek had a truce with @haejin. I also know the truce is currently broken. I learnt today from old posts I was given that many times, plans were set in motion to difame @haejin, to make him look like a monster to everyone, to make sure that absolutely everyone here hated him. I ask you... Is he a monster? Did the insults, the hate push him to grow his sharp claws?

I might get some flack for saying this... could it be that we are partially to blame too? Us, the community? Because it was easy to get angry at the giant whale upvoting himself?

At the expense of committing whataboutism, how could be so angry about that, and at the same time justify all the other ones that do it with the same intensity mind you, but do it "secretly".

Is the system of incentives broken? Of course it is. Should we be pushing for a change? Maybe, the answer is there, I don't know. But what I do know is that this, this little war, has not helped anyone be any happier. It's lead to many minnows getting nuked, many others just losing faith and quitting.

I don't want that, you don't either. So why are we continuing the battle 9 months later. Can we try a different approach? Should we try one? I know what some might say, some might point out that truces have been offered before. First it was Bernie, then Fulltimegeek, but they did not last long enough. Let's attempt however, to stop throwing blame around. Let's forget who threw the first rock, and lets talk about what we could do moving forward, what we should do moving forward.

Maybe to my own detriment I believe in voluntaryism as an ethical way forward. I love the idea of being selfless, of charities, but not at the cost of forcing it (it makes no sense). How could I demand someone to be charitable? Does that even make sense? - Maybe, the right approach is to show that person the benefits of being charitable, and then leave it up to them.

Maybe my particular position on the matter might no be too relevant to @haejin, but then again, I'm sure no one ever asked him either. Maybe, if he felt like the community was more accepting of him, more respectful, he would feel inspired to support others. But, not because we force him, no, that's the problem we have right now, but because when he does so, when he upvotes another user, when he makes a donation for someone in need for a surgery as he did recently we celebrate those little acts of kindness too.

Someone might read my words, my little act for civility and say that I'm being tricked, that I've been blinded by his "evil ways" - I don't know, but I do know, that for that person who received those funds for his/her surgery, that act made a difference and that is enough for me to deem it a good act.

So here... this weird open letter, this call for civility is my attempt to make a difference, maybe it will, maybe it won't but I won't say I didn't try.

I'll just close this by saying this: Thank you @fulltimegeek for caring, I know everything you do is because you give a damn, and you inspire many here and I admire that. - And @haejin sorry for not speaking up when you got threatened and dehumanized, I know there is kindness in you, I've seen it.

Maybe today we can walk a different path and leave all this fighting behind for good...