I did get a hub for coder/developers, here in Manila, Philippines. It is not fully set yet but when set, we will gather people on and on and on, to code for steem; both steemians and coders/developers in general, who will have to end up becoming steemians. 

We will also extend the endeavor into "a curriculum", that will educate interested entities, in the world of coding. 

I tell you, many entire-dreams are build-able with code.

In many cases, there is "the expertise" but these dreams still never come to the fore (limelight), because many other facets that should have been involved enroute attaining real greatness have been relegated, in the process of evolving the expertise alone. 

The difference in our hub? 

We will code with more swag, taking full cognizance of life and the true state of the entire world and humans, in the models for each of our innovation and we will create fresh, even unheard-of use-cases for the steem blockchain, reshaping the internet as a whole.

I tell you, i still haven't seen any innovation or technology on the entire globe, that took into full cognizance "the entire world (of humans)" , in the evolution of their model. Only blockchain technology came close and especially the steem blockchain, making it my bus-stop. 

If i say i love steem like crazy, there is no ounce of exaggeration.

Mark Zuckerberg wants the entire world but even he, didn't take cognizance of the entire world in the creation of the Facebook model; to where nations are simplified to represent locations.

Well, i am not with him and i don't know him but i know life and humans very specially and he is not from outer-space and yes, he may have wanted to (take cognizance of the entire world in the creation of the Facebook model) but he can't have Mathematically or scientifically been able to, because there are other parts of the world where there is "donkey life" and "donkey life" is a hard concept to grasp.

What i perceive that he does thus, is to buy the masses. If Instagram can gather a new measure or jurisdiction of the masses, he buys Instagram and when Whatsapp captures another measure, he simply buys Whatsapp too.

Amassing the masses is a nice strategy. 

Appealing to the masses and drawing them heartfeltly in, is a remarkably great strategy!

Ofcourse, Google didn't take cognizance of the entire globe either, in the evolution of their model, that is why i am surpassing google. But hey there, we will do it together!

"Surpassing Google with Steem"; isn't that the perfect theme for the hub?

If the world likes to insist that some nations are developing; no worries; we will simply adjust the world from these developing nations. 

We are on the high road. No rifts, no competition.

I do want to bring about real world-adjustment by means of steem, from the nook & crannies of one small hub in a developing nation, (like the world likes to call it). 

I know the world (humans) alot, hence, i know the kind of innovation that will ease its pain just a bit more. 

(I don't know where my tiny knowledge comes from, but i am very sure this knowledge is not of my making because "no books" involved.

I am very illiterate. 

I do believe, that most of the INTEL that world still seek in outer-space is in our hands (yes, here in the developing nations and in the hands of illiterates like me) and to combobulate this INTEL into historical awesomeness, all we need is the right round table.

But who doesn't know that i can't do this alone (i am mere dust), hence, a hub made up of steemians (reputable great minds) and the right kind of round table.

The completion of the hub is pending just a bit because of my dad's presence in the house. I got a house that has provisions for a hub. I was also expecting that as my dad arrives; since i will need to be with him, to tend to him most of the time, a hub for steem-coding would be perfect at home. 

That was the type of house i got!

But my dad is not doing well at all. I haven't seen him for more than 5 years before now and his health has really deteriorated. Apart from his physical health that has really deteriorated and his glaucoma and dementia, he appears to have some form of psychosis. 

He is still very unsettled too and he still seeks my mum continuously. He entertains fears that i will harm him as i have harmed her. 

He has lost much of his dignity too and deep down i want to preserve what dignity's left and with all my heart, look for ways to regenerate some of his lost dignity. Thus, the hub will begin fully, when he is a bit settled.

I want my dad back, even half of him.

I am a newer version of me too! New types of questions in my head; especially more resounding, in the few months leading up to my dad's arrival here. (I am his replica)

"Is this how i will eventually become?"; is now a pertinenter question in my mind. 

My dad talks of his unmet dreams 24/7. He carried the dreams of nations.

Amidst all though, he has loved his wife so deeply. He cries (wails) for Maria Wilma Ajayi constantly and especially, because he didn't give her the very best. 

He has kept his great (good) intentions intact. 

He hears voices ever-constantly (almost the entire day) and he listens and follows suit as he believes the voice he hears is from above and he revers the Creator Jehovah utmostly. (He doesn't attend any religion though).

Thus, if he hears something, he mostly does as told, even if the voice tells him to the the most reckless things and I can't make him listen to me because he is a man; i must respect him; I must allow him his dignity. I just watch and bear the deep pains.

Deep things? 

Hahaha, normal things in the real life of a real man.

I tell you, "no food" is nothing in the real world of suffering; "i don't want to lose my dignity". 

I don't want to live like that. 

I don't have a life till date but the only thing that stubbornly stayed intact all these ages, is my dignity and that has kept my self-belief, ever-lit. Amidst intensest suffering, the only thing that never shook for one minute, is my self-belief, worth, my dignity. And because these things did shake, i never turned out cruel. I turned out extremely loving!

Too, my sturdy believe in "possibilities" ever held sway.

Don't doubt me, i am positive like crazy. I am just real. I don't want to do "hope" that much, any longer. We have done that for almost forever. 

I want to say things as they are and positively fix instead. 

I no longer want to keep preaching to you forever; "tomorrow go better". I want to fix it for you today!

Jesus' didn't only preach of the kingdom; he gave way to pity; he touched their eyes and healed it.

And just before Lazarus' Resurrection, he gave way to tears

As i speak these things; even as i air my pain, i tell you; i am drop-dead positive and my underlying utmost intention is to fix; "to tell the world, that amidst all the suffering, i will give off of myself, for you.

Words can't even explain how each of my day is like; how many rows of heart tremor i do each day. I am past trauma already. I have gone "over". 

I did trauma, till i couldn't breathe. I have seen it like crazy and i have now entered a lost world, one where nothing phases me, nothing impresses me and i have eaten all these things up, in giant chumps but has the harm been done? 

Will i lose my mind in the near future, like is my dad's case?

We are on the same route but i am in a difference generation. There is steem, there is more knowledge, there are more doctors. Will it better in my case?

He didn't understand what he was dealing with that much, in his time. He had loads of depression but in a world of donkey-life, you only know intense depression to be another normal bout of "mild sadness" and you keep swallowing it up for ages and ages. 

And if your genes are stubborn when it comes to upholding virtues and the substance of your character is unshakeable; if you can only get to do good stuff, then, you swallow all the chumps for ages and ages, without an outlet. 

Can one do this for ages and ages without a single outlet and stay a normal human? 

e.g People see Terry and see another boy, a normal person but am i that normal? I tell you, "you can't do our life, with so much self-control (no outlet) and still be normal". But what's the point?

Is self-control such a good thing afterall or is too much of it bad too?

Even in my half-sleep, my dad calls me (in loud screams) and i will jump out of bed as many times, to run check on him, only to see him in whisper-mode. 

He never called me. 

He has kept on in my mind and heart.

He is lost in another world and i watch it. Well, i am lost too!

At the airport, it took me some thirty minutes to reach out to him after spotting him at "arrivals". 

That wasn't my dad! 

Same as was in the case with my mum. Even though, I haven't seen her for 5 years, when i did see her, i couldn't hug her, for that wasn't my mum. She was lost in another world and so was i. 

I love her too much. I stood still.

I was dumbfounded by the cruelty life has in it

And when she died, i was there and trauma dumb-struck me, till i went past it.

After eventually reaching out to my dad (after doing all my side-tears), he started out with small smile. He held my hand and blasted upon it, his loving handshake, then he said; "terry boy, is that you?" 

He laughed and said; "so you finally deceived me into coming here to the Philippines". (He had missed the first flight because he wasn't going to come here)

I was in tears from too much devastation, then he popped up the next question but he tweaked this particular question and took me off guard; "is my wife still alive?"

He was holding me!

I opened up; alot happened afterward; I will just pause now!

Note: The load is heavy but a special friend and steemian, helps me alot with tending to my dad as well, to help me lift some of the load.

You may not understand all i have been saying but you can be sure of one thing, my entire tired being can't pull of even milliseconds of exaggeration.

In how i express these words, no "true lies" involved!

My dad is home with me now and its been more than a week. He wails her name constantly and i stay there, right there by his side (without him knowing it), watching him in his agony; wanting to pick out the content of his words, to process his mind, perhaps i can tie the knots to find him out from within his lost world and bring him back here with me. 

Then, i say a prayer within my tears and look at the portrait of the woman he keeps calling. (She is right there on the top of the room cupboard but she is helpless too). 

And gosh, if only he could see (at least), that his woman was there in the picture frame, perhaps, his heart will heal just a bit.

Why should every party have to suffer like this?

Hahaha, so i say; suffering must now end (at least for others) or suffering must now have essence and tears value.

Hahaha, no more "suffering for fun". It's old-school!

Now, you may say; "Terry, don't talk about this sadness etc; at least not on steemit" etc but hey there, i am positive, strong and i whenever i do this, it is, "so that even my saddest testimonies can bring others to a fixing and i do it for generations yet unborn, to know that i was here and we went through the challenges, so that they can experience way more joys.

Before you conclude matters in my case, think 3 times.

And well, steemit and steemians have loved me and have helped become an outlet and oh please, at least let me have one outlet. 

See What Happened Days Ago And You Will Understand..

I snuck out to be at a steemit event. I thought could hangout at the meetup for a short period as it was held late into the night and my dad was in rest-mode at the time.

Overall, i wanted to appear at the meetup because it is of value to me, that my presence at these events, can inspire even a soul (at the very least). 

In the nations where i am from, i how much what "inspiration" can do, for it is a scare commodity.

My dad was a bit calm, thus, i left to be at the event with other steemians. It was a party-like event this time and my aim was to spend some 1 hour there but i ended up spending the whole night. 

The first part of the night was light-dancing, deep into the club, then we had tried to promote steemit by having the club do a shout out, but we were successful on this particular night. 

In the other half of the night however, a particular steemian decided to take particular interest in my words and in the pains in my undertone and she chose to hold me close and tend to my wounds. She wanted to listen. She wanted to understand etc Then, another steemian joined in.

We spoke and spoke and ended up eating. 

Then, i found my way back home early in the morning and i tell you;

"a janitor-janitor" is not the same as "a steemian-janitor", for while one is busy incessantly cleaning, the other is cleaning, while incessantly mining his mind and he is beginning to grasp concepts like; "dirt is good; ask the soap master" and obliviously, he is attaining CEOism.

Your Boy Terry

@surpassinggoogle

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Dedicating My Entire Steem/Steemit Journey To My Mum

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