If I would've been asked that question 3 years ago, my answer would have been so, so, very different.

One of the only things that makes me truly happy, and definitely the one at the top of my list, is when I'm playing outside with my girls, on a beautiful day, and they are playing; running around, playing tag, playing hopscotch, throwing leaves, drawing pictures with sidewalk chalk, maybe we are even rock hunting, with no electronics, just kids being kids. They both have smiles going from ear to ear, that can't be faked, plastered on their faces, a showing that they truly are happy and having fun.

It may sound simple, even insincere or trivial, but the "why" explains how that can make me so happy. I don't talk about it a lot, because I try to live in the moment and not worry about what tomorrow will bring. In 2014, I was diagnosed with Advanced Metastatic Melanoma, with a two year old and a five year old at home, that my world revolved around. I thought I did everything right, I waited until I was 31 to have my oldest daughter, because I wanted to be sure I was ready to devote 100% of my time to kids, and that's exactly what I did. I love being a mom. It's my greatest accomplishment, and I get all the entertainment one could want, just from watching them. So, starting in 2014, I took a year of Chemo and had over 50 surgeries. I decided I was going to fight the cancer with everything I could (To understand the seriousness of my type of cancer, look it up, they won't even give ten year survival rates, but I plan to change that), just for my girls. They have no one else but me, so I didn't have any other option. The year after the Chemo, I felt as if I was still taking it; I couldn't eat, had no energy, no muscles, it was horrible. The entire time, my girls had to go though this with me. They had it so bad. They were too young to go outside and play alone, and I couldn't get up, let alone go outside, and there was no way I could play. They were use to me being the strong one, not afraid, and doing everything with them. I still cannot imagine how miserable they were. I'll never forgive myself for not being stronger and allowing them to miss so much.

Simply, being outside, the sun shining on my face, with my daughters laughter in the background, while I'm chasing them around, blowing bubbles for them to catch, or my favorite, walking a creek with them looking for agates, while my oldest keeps bringing me limestone or sandstone the entire time, has to be the one thing in life that makes me truly happy and even puts a smile on my face, just thinking of it right now. Win or lose, I'm happy I was able to remember that feeling, hoping to feel it many more times again :)