I am a Vegan in my mind, but not in my body

Ever since hearing Mark Passio's podcast on Carnism, I have wanted to be a vegan.

I tried it the first time in November of 2016. I just started eating Quinoa and Roasted Vegetables and Tofu and other stuff for about a month. Then I got a stomach virus and a low grade fever that lasted for 2 months. I could not get rid of it.

Finally, I told my chiropractor what was going on and he gave me this immune booster supplement. I looked at the ingredients and it contained a bunch of animal organs. I did not know what to do - because I am in my 50s so I need to be more careful, and I don't go to "doctors". I am generally healthy.

I decided to take it to see what would happen. I got well. I went a long for a few more months. During this time, I had recognized that my way of eating was bad. I eat at the last minute. I realized that this dietary change thing was going to require a lot more of me than I thought so I should take some time to do it. I decided to give myself a year. I started in April of 2017.

First I began to just introduced more and different proteins in to my diet. Next I started to just try to eat different things during each meal. In my last minute world, I usually eat an apple and a banana in the morning and then a burger and salad at the last minute in the middle of the day and then something else for dinner - like eggs, so I can digest it to sleep. This is because my every waking moment has been, since I was a little girl, designated toward escape.

I do that through making art. I make art from the moment I am awake till bedtime with some computer research time in there and some outdoor activities, like dog-walking. I don't like doing anything that will make me feel present in my body. I start the day off with 16 oz of coffee.

I am not in the least saying this is healthy - but this is how I have been living my whole life. The whys of this are not important to this article, so, here I am, finally trying to make this change, and I realize this fact of my existence.

So I try to integrate the vegetarian food. I get rid of milk and ice cream, but not cheese, yet. I get my eggs from people who have chickens so that's ok. My roommate, who I take care of, is not interested in this project and continues to eat meat, hot dogs, milk, ice cream, cheese, etc.

Last month, I tried again. I go off meat altogether, eating tofu and tempeh and nut cheese, etc... and within a week I have a stomach virus again.

WTF???

I send an email to my Naturopath, who I can't afford to see now that I have lost my job.

Me: Both times when I got completely off the RED meat, I got sick. The first time I did it much too quickly and without education and I had a low-grade fever for 2 months. with an immune booster which was all organs from animals that I got from my chiropractor -

Doc: ******no logical explanation why low meat intake would have such an immediate effect. my thought is that without meat your need to generate stomach acid declines rapidly. With low stomach acid you are far more prone to infections or bacteria, thus perhaps this is an indirect reason why you get infections on a vegetarian diet. Maybe, or maybe that's all BS. no way to know......******

Me: The 2nd time I was easing into it much more slowly and with much more education and just substituting my meat with other proteins, etc but STILL I got a stomach virus after just a week off meat. The 2nd time I was eating lots of protein more than the first time.

Doc: ********again, not clear. you could try taking Betaine HCL with every meal, especially with raw foods to see if that helps..... I'm not super enthusiastic with that idea.

Me: It's beef that I seem to need. RED MEAT. My current solution is to now buy ethically raised meat from a farm in Saguache and give up trying to be a veg - but I am curious to hear your thoughts on this - I am going to cut down the amount because I like how I feel when I don't eat it as much but there is something in it I seem to NEED -what is it???

Doc: ******meat, especially red meat, triggers more efficient iron absorption, so perhaps that's it. There isn't much in meat that you absolutely need. Some l-carnitine, some iron. ****

Me: I believe I have type 0-negative blood so maybe there is something to that - that I need meat.

Doc: *******oh I was going to ask you about this next. As odd as this sounds we've certainly seen this enough over the years that I kind of think there is something to it. People with type O blood do poorly on vegetarian diets. No idea why. Read up on mediterranean diets. A little meat is a lot different than a lot of meat. Eating one cow per year is far kinder than eating 4 cows a year.******

So - I did. I ordered from this farm: KW Farms. I talked to someone who was waiting to pick up today about them. I had told @jayjayjeffrey that I can't drive to Alamosa to check them out because my car might well not make it that far - but I talked to a gal today who worked on that farm once and she vouched for them and the way they butcher is as humane as possible. She explained that they take the cow that is going to be butchered away from the herd, and bathe it first and then do that electrical shock to the brain.

I don't like this at all either but it's a lot better than the full on mistreatment of animals that happens in Greely, CO at the feedlots. Until I can figure out an alternative, this is what I will be doing.

I am open to hearing other people's experience with this or suggestions you might have. Thanks.