Following on from @stellabelle's post, I'm just going to open my BAR and see how it goes!

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NANZO'S OPEN HOUSE

EVERYONE'S WELCOME!

ANYTHING GOES, JUST DON'T BE AN ASS!

STEEM/ STEEMIT TALK FREE ZONE!!

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HOW IT WORKS

LEVEL 1 COMMENTS ARE FOR "ORDERING DRINKS" OR "RESERVING A PRIVATE TABLE". EDIT: JOKES AND MEMES PERMITTED AT LEVEL 1!!

ORDER A "DRINK"

ORDER A "DRINK" IN THE COMMENTS SECTIONS, AS FOLLOWS:

• Call the Bartender
• Name your drink*
• State your problem

E.g.

@nanzo-scoop, mine's a Back Street Banger

"It's 10pm and I can hear my neighbours 'going at it' in MY back garden. What shall I do. Enforce my property rights, or let them finish off? (I).

• The bartender will then "SERVE" you with an answer in the reply.

E.g.

Thanks for your order, that is a tricky one... hmmm, I can't imagine they'll be more than 5 minutes. Let them continue. If they're still going after 10 minutes. Film them on secretly on your phone. The next day put a speaker in their garden (behind a bush) and play the audio back to them. They'll get the message

(* try http://www.bardrinks.com/drinks/lists/alpha.asp for good drink names)

RESERVE A TABLE

To reserve a private table; in the level 1 comments:

• State the names of your guests ("guest list")
• Only your guests are permitted to reply to the comment thread
• People can request to join the table. The comment thread owner can let them join by adding them to the guest list.
• Sit and talk about whatever you please! It's your table
• Other patrons, please respect the privacy and confidentiality of others. Remember it is rude to eavesdrop!

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RIGHT, IT IS NOW 22:45 BST. I'M GOING TO CLOSE THE BAR AND HAVE A "LOCK IN" AT 00:00 (Guests are welcome to stay beyond then however the bar will be closed at that time)

....next order please?

LAST ORDERS... BAR CLOSES IN 10 MINUTES!!