You don’t really want to be here, building a career and a future with Steemit.com.
I’ll make this short and sweet so you can go back to binge watching the new Netflix show.
10. Set it and Forget it
Take a lot of time and write a killer article. Like, at least one hour. Better yet 5. Publish and leave. When you log in next you’ll see you haven’t made anything! No followers, no money. Suhweet brah.
9. Better Yet, Slap It
Together. Don’t take time to write up something killer. Make sure your Post To Be is sloppy full of grammar and spelling mistakes.
8. Silly Rabbit, Titles are for Winners!
Do not spend time brainstorming eye catching titles. Remember- you want them to KEEP SCROLLING.
7. Todays Forecast- Foggy
Be sure your photos are blurry, grasshopper. You don’t want to catch your fellow Steemians eye and, GASP, have to deal with a compliment.
6. You Don’t Need Friends
That’s right. If you want to fail you must not talk with or engage with anyone on Steemit. Under No Circumstances.
5. I’ll Be There For You
Oops, you made a few friends. It was not your fault, you promise. Ok, so now what? Don’t engage. And curation, shmuration. Oh look- the next episode is starting!
4. Frequent Flier
Make it a point to rarely visit Steemit. Hey, the unemployment line is so much more entertaining, I got you.
3. Beg for Upvotes and Resteems.
Constantly. Every moment you’re on here be sure you are follow begging. Post your link on everyones comments, PM everyone in chat right now. .. Everybody really likes that, don’t you know?!
2. Become Illiterate
Do not read anyone’s blog. Not one article. You already know everything, right?! So what you doin looking at my stuff?
1. Don’t Promote
You definitely will never grow if you don’t promote your work anywhere and everywhere you can.
Disclaimer: This post is for entertainment purposes only. Purely satirical purposes. I want you to succeed! Grow! Become a Steemit Master.
Check out these articles on how to master Steemit.com and become a spectacular Steemit Success Story:
Grow and Succeed on Steemit with these tools
Enchant and Engage your Steemit Followers
Don't be a Zero, be a Steemit HERO!
My recent 500 follower milestone
Be sure to enter the Giveaway for $20 SBD!
Thank you for your support!
Funny words. Silly stuff.
I liked it, because it's well presented. Thanks!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Why thank you! Stay tuned for more!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
The worst one for me would have to be, "ask for upvotes and resteems." I want a well thought out discussion in the comments section about my killer article. Not, "Wow, what a great article. I did something similar, check it here." No, that's taking the conversation AWAY from ME. Start your own goddamn discussion haha
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Drama Queens
smh
lol!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Haha! I am! ;)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I was actually referring to those "look at me"s in your discussions...
But, well, al-right-y then
LOL!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Haha! No, yep, I can be a drama queen on ocassion. I dislike drama, but there's usually a theatrical going on in my head as I try to tentatively navigate through the situation lol
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
And that, my dear Raymond, is why you are a superb writer!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Ah, lovely comment. Thank you :)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
You are welcome.
I used to write a LOT as a child. And of course my teachers all told me that I was a good writer and should put serious thought into a career as such. But I just never went that way for the longest time. I only began focusing on it seriously as a career several years ago, and I am SO happy I did!
Plus I have a crazy fast and silly and goofy and strange and sometimes morbid to certain circles imagination, lol, and I believe THAT is what makes a writer.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I know, right. I wrote an awesome peice about just that;
Http://steemit.com/@bleedpoet/joking/this-is-a-joke
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Bahahaaa!!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Did ya click it 😝
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I did, ha
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Nice reading ! Pretty interesting ideas , I totally agree with the don't promote one
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Yes. Growth is BAD for failure ;)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I will follow every bit of instruction laid out here in it's most literall interpretation!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
When you can fail harder than the hardest failure then the failsauce trophy shall be awarded to you, grasshopper
;)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Thanks for the article. If you were to start on Steemit today, what would be the one or two things you would focus most of your time and effort on?
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
#1 Good Content
#2 Get out there and meet people
2 is important. And rewarding. I came here for crypto info as a newbie to that world, and I ended up falling in love with the community and well, bought a house on Steemit Ave ;)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Hmmm ....so resteeming isn't a form of promotion ?
I'm trying to get some strategies together for writing articles that will stay visible long enough to at least get noticed, I'll make a point of looking at the links in your post. Thanks :-)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Resteeming is promotion, however I was referring to promoting in your other social media accounts :)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Yeah I noticed resteeming works well, Sometimes if I check someones page and see a very good title blog, but then I look and see its resteamed.. Before you know it I'm on the resteamed persons blog page instead of the person blog page I was going to check out in the first place.. hehe
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Nice! Love it!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
lol, Just laughing right now!!
Awesome anyway and insightful :)
Hope your day was great :)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
;)
Thank you, and wonderful meeting you!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
But I meet so many interesting characters in the unemployment line...
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Hey, we all have a niche to fill
;)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
The trash and pools of piss, to misquote Bright Eyes, are also a boon for the writerly sort.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I'm going to post a link to this article in a post I uploaded a couple of mins before I saw yours appear online.
It's asking for strategies to prolong interest in a newly uploaded post and there are other steemians replying to it who appear to be in the same predicament who are asking the same questions.
Serendipity perhaps?
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Oh wow! I'd say!
Sweet
I'm checking this out :)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Really Nice post, the only thing I'm concerned with is: "Clickbait titles"
I mean what if people misuse the option to use good titles and misuse them?
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
We have some awesome moderators here. And the community is second to none. If it's not authentic, it's not going to last long :)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
That's one way to look at it :)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
The sarcasm is strong with this one
;)
Wonderful meeting you!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
That was so sarcastic and funny. Thanks for sharing
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Hehe! Glad you got a kick out of it :)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I like the post. I can relate to a few of them on here. I am definitely guilty and have abused some these tips for my own blog. Why does writing have to be so hard? Anyways keep up the good work, and thanks for the quick list.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
If writing was easy then everyone would do it :)
<3
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Hehe, funny ;) I must admit finding a title can be hard at times lol.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I know, but it is crucial
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Well written. I agree with all your points. I think its important to expand your reach wherever possible. This comes through dedication and hard work. Nothing is free!!!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I truly believe what you put into Steemit is what you will receive.
Welcome to the community! Great to meet you!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I just finished replying on a post about this topic in particular...too funny. This post was actually a lot of fun and humorous. Thank you for the entertaining content...keep it coming!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Oh wow! Great minds, and all that...?
Thanks, and great to meet you! Stay tuned for more!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
FO REALZ! I totally will...looking forward to more engaging and entertaining content from you.
Have a great weekend!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
You as well Jack- and be sure to enter the $20 SBD Giveaway!!!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Lol. made me laugh:)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Happy to entertain ;)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Where is that Giveaway for $20 SBD, it links the animated gif!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Oh my goodness, that was creepy! I think I fixed it, can you click the link to make sure on your end?
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Works now :)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Thank you!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
This is a social network with a fine twist, so we just need it to function that way.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
This post has been ranked within the top 50 most undervalued posts in the first half of Jul 01. We estimate that this post is undervalued by $27.43 as compared to a scenario in which every voter had an equal say.
See the full rankings and details in The Daily Tribune: Jul 01 - Part I. You can also read about some of our methodology, data analysis and technical details in our initial post.
If you are the author and would prefer not to receive these comments, simply reply "Stop" to this comment.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
I tried every step. How come I'm not making money?
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Hehe, there's your first clue ;)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit