There are times when we want to say so many things, and it is just the moment in which we find ourselves with internal and external walls, walls that by the way are invisible; but they feel so deep that instead of expressing what happens to us, we end up silent and in the end we do not say anything.
Who has not lived this experience in their relationship or with a loved relative? However, this situation can become a great opportunity to evaluate ourselves and decide to think about ourselves and the well-being of that relationship that interests us so much or allow little by little the distance to be greater, passively seeing the walls that rise.
One of the causes that affect family relationships, especially that of couples, is not to express what we feel or manifest what happens to us, but inadequately ... On this there is much to talk about. The first thing I should say is the need to attend to our thoughts, because when we stop at reasoning such as: "It's not worth saying", "It does not matter, it does not matter", "I fell better to avoid problems", among others. We only manage to block ourselves internally, we strengthen fear and insecurity. On the contrary, it is essential to say what happens to us, what hurts us, happy or upset, because it is a way to reaffirm our worth and strengthen the bond that unites us. This is how we give our spouses the opportunity to improve their attitude and to get to know each other. Only, it is important to take care of some guidelines when doing it.
It is better to keep silent while anger goes by
Once calm, take up the theme always saying your feeling in the first person: «I feel», «I have», «I want»
What happens today, today is resolved. «Do not let the sun go down on your anger» says the bible
When talking about one topic at a time, avoid bringing to the present the things of the past, with that only increase the problem and generate discomfort in your partner.
Finally, explain how you would like to be told or things to happen, do not assume that your partner fully understood what you wanted to tell him !. If possible, give an example so that your message really becomes clear.As you follow these steps keep in mind that your body language says more than your words, so you must be calm, look for the best time and place, sit face to face, look into the eyes and use an appropriate tone of voice, open your heart and express yourself.
