Since I'm an active Steemian (since January 2017) I've seen quite a few fights going on within the community. Although I've read a number of posts on various issues and fights, from individuals who supposedly drive fellow Steemians away, to Steemians walking away from the platform because of this and that, to continuous fights around no flagging experiment and down flagging. Many many posts and comments with Steemians taking position!
However, I didn't see that many posts and comments trying to resolve the issues that may or may not be real issues.
After more than a week ignoring all posts regarding ongoing fights and wars, yesterday I read again one of those posts and gave the advise in the comment for the individuals involved to pick up direct communication within or outside of Steemit and try and understand the other side, and through that try and resolve their issues. It is not good for Steemit and Steem when these fights continue, and I'm really wondering if Steemit Inc can actually support to resolve those fights (as some suggested).
At almost the same time I stumbled upon a very good "conflict resolution" post somewhere on the Internet. I share this with you all in the hope you can do something with this, especially those who are are the subject of the fights as well as those who are taking position in the various fights ongoing as we speak.
Some of the key notes from the article below.
The article http://ideas.ted.com/there-are-three-sides-to-every-argument/
Many of our negotiations and conflicts today are like those 17 camels — they seem impossible to resolve, with no apparent solution in sight.
I call this mechanism of community engagement in conflict the “third side,” and this system, I believe, is probably what has kept our species alive.
The most fundamental way in which the third side can help is to remind the parties of what’s really at stake.
There’s an old saying that some conflicts are so difficult, they can be healed only through a story.
Perhaps we could create a platform that allows everyone to become a peacemaker, a third-sider.
Please do not let the fights escalate to even bigger ones,
Please do not let the fights destroy what we have here,
Please try and resolve the issues you have so that we can become a community again.
RESPECT is Key to Any Strong Community
The best thing to do for me is to support the steemians being targeted by SP Whales that bully and not fight back but discuss with the community what is happening without anger.
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Discussion is a good thing! Especially when done in a non hostile way. Thank you for your support.
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Yes communication is key and isn't that what we are here for?
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Agree. BTW, nice animation and reference to all of use through the fishes :)
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We're all in school and have a need to share with one another what we learned.
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I'm not sure what you mean, but I think there are only a few fellow Steemians having great difficulty with each other, these are the parties that need to bring the fights to an end. The rest, the bystanders, will follow more or less automatically. At least, that is what I think (see my comment to @seablue).
I actually think that humour is a great way as well to resolve conflicts, but it shall be in parallel.
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I have been targeted by 5 SP Whales when I was still new on here. It's was so confusing but I made it clear on my post what was going on and had a good discussion with other whales helping me. I did research to find out this person has been doing this since the beginning of steemit. There's no talking with some people but it does help to talk with those who are open.
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I even think those who are not ready to talk, can be turned around. Maybe the emotions are still in their way. Maybe these Whales are not asked for their opinion in a non hostile way? Maybe these Whales have a point but really feel not heard, or to large group of others on the opposite side not listening. I really do not know, but I do know that we are ALL humans and everyone has good and reasoning. In the end it is all about having respect. When making conversations with 100% respect for the other, I'm pretty sure that the no-talkers of today can be turned into talkers tomorrow. But again, RESPECT is key.
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Very nice image and yes constructive arguments would be more efficient !
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Learning fallacies really helped me argue correctly. Arguments aren't bad but getting lost in fallacies causes both parties topbecome frustrated and shut down communications.
A logical fallacy is when one assumes ones assumption is proven and no reasons are given....then the dance begins and there is no end💃🏻🕸
http://skepdic.com/refuge/ctlessons/lesson5.html
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I fully agree with you! People can have difference of opinion, can have arguments, even strong arguments and discussions, but it shall always be on realities, on respecting each other, and having the bigger picture in mind, the common goals we all have (making Steemit successful, a nice place to be, a great community).
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We need our primary school system to teach critical thinking and the art of argument along with reading, writing and math! That's the only way society and social platforms will be successful in a healthy way. When was the last time you heard of the virtues being used in a healthy way instead of the common usage used today to shame and shut people up?
Steemit is suffering from the same thing our society is suffering from. That's were wise compassion comes in handy. Many times I understand where the person is coming from but can't communicate with them. So I have to politely disengage and walk away. This has literally saved my life a couple times.
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You are correct; We shall be able to understand each other, and that not always happens. But for some reason I think most members her eon Steemit may not be the same as our real societies. I have the gut feel we have in average more intelligent people here on the platform. With that higher level of intelligence, I also think we can resolve fights and wars on Steemit better. I fully agree with you that how to resolve conflicts shall be part of education, if it is not with the parents, then through the school system, absolutely!
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Those who can keep a steady mind during change will be an asset here on Steemit! Steemon🚞
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I've read your post, edje. I like what you are saying. It would be nice to have an antagonist that was interested in engaging in dialogue to resolve an issue.
What do you propose when one side refuses to to talk?
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I have some negotiations skills, and depends on the individuals, the state of their emotions etc. But what I do know is that it is best to try is ask questions to the individuals involved in the conflict, ask why they feel how the feel, why they oppose what the other thinks, says, does. Get the emotions out of the conversation, and steer the conversation in letting the individuals say what they feel, believe. Make the conversation 'smart' so to speak. Maybe even starting with individual talks with both sides and then bring them together, like mediators do all the time. I even think that resolving the issues must be done outside of Steemit, in private, it shall not be in the open to all of us, because this will create more emotions by bystanders, more comments, more negativity, ie more fuel to the fights.
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Would be soooo great if you can. I like to support where ever I can, but I'm not sure if I earned the right respects within our community already and more specifically with the individuals involved in the fights to make a difference. But any support I can give, ask me.
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nice posts
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I hope it reaches those who are part of the fights and they take a notice of this and try and resolve their issues. I really really do.
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Well Said,
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It has to be said, but we also need action. I have no idea if I can be of more help then this, I think I do not understand the issues and do not know the politics, so I feel not the right individual to propose being the 3rd party. Any ideas who the 3rd party could be?
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This is such positive and wise advice. I continue going my way, trying to ignore all those ego issues. It's not always helpful to stay silent but I decided to keep out of those discussions, hoping solutions will be found, angry people calm down again to reinstall positive vibrations throughout our community. #wishfulthinking
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resteemed - exactly my position - I did comment not only once in certain discussions suggesting direct comms to solve - however both / all parties involved have to show their WILL to do that, think that is the issue still - well it is Kindergarten, we can probably not help if people stay on their position and do not move towards the other - nuff said.
That is human behaviour - a pat of our society ist that way, simply explained.
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I think a respected individual need to become the 3rd party, a respected individual by all parties involved. I'm afraid I'm too much of a newbie for that. I'm glad if I can help in some way. Thanks for the ReSteem, the message should be read by as many people.
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Agree - I think of someone - but am also not that deep into the relationship matrix of the big ones here.
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Already SUPER you are trying to think of someone!! @seablue stated he will try to do something (see his comments to this post). I keep touch with him/her.
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yeah... fighting...fighting...flag...flag. Yooooohoooo we are "adult human". Just feel tired to see childish behaviour. They think this community is "a toy". Flag without reason... a stupid conduct. Anyway good posting ! Nice ! :)
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Flagging may not be that bad, especially when it is to support an experiment. But those who do shall always be very careful when flagging, as well as every time when doing so, explain it. But again, they should do it very careful and with 100% objectivity in doing so.
Thank you for reading and your comments.
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Yeah... I am not anti flagging, but to do that without reason is awful... :)
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I agree!
But keep in mind, a reason may exist, but when not communicated, it can be seen as without reason. I can even imagine some flaggers make some configuration errors in their auto voters. I'm not saying that this is the case, and even when it is the case, it is kind of ok. But just saying :)
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Well there are some folks with a butt hurt, and they just like to argue. Every social media has them. Drama queens are everywhere. If some leave the platform, than it's their choice alone. All you can do is bring a positive attitude.
Steemit inc is doing things their way and they rarely take sides or try to solve problems outside of their roadmap.
That is the beauty of a decentralized community. Everyone has a voice. Is this voice heard is a completely different story.
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I hear you :) Steemit Inc shall not tak any sides, but they may act as the mediator. Steemit Inc has influence on the community quite a bit through their software and more or less ownership of not only the core of Steemit but also Steem. Also since they are by far the largest SP holder, and maybe the best respected party being independent, tells me a very good position as mediator.
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I am now followiing you.
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LOL... try to catch me!
note: at one point you will be able, since when the animated Gif could be longer, you will see I cannot run like that forever :) I hit the follow button as well.
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