My first awareness this morning the distinctive song of a little bird known as a Stonechat.
“Chit-chit-chat, chit-chit-chat"
A smile fills my heart with gratitude.
The little bird's song reminds me of the aliveness that is here, right now, humming through my atoms.
I breathe in the aliveness. I want to remember this feeling. Immediately my mind fixes on the thought. I want a make a neural connection in my brain for this feeling. Instead of surrendering to the aliveness, my mind is driven to capture the feeling and squeeze it into a little glass vial for later.
A huge proportion of the cultural messaging we receive is based around this formulaic approach. The human mind has been conditioned to skip of the glorious simplicity of aliveness. Instead we are encouraged to search for the elixir of happiness, success, enlightenment, call it what you will.
The truth is, happiness isn't contained within a formula, or in trying to emulate another person's experience of happiness. Sure we can all learn so much from each other, but not at the demise of our own precious experience.
Life invites us to drink in the aliveness animating both happiness, and sorrow. But we don't want to drink in the sorrow, so we become fixated with ideas, memories and experiences that reflect ultimate happiness. Life becomes a quest as we try to capture the happiness and freedom of a time when our mind knew no bounds.
Just like the chirping song of the Stone Chat, thoughts chit-chit-chat, urging me to do this or that.
“Chit-chit-chat, chit-chit-chat"
I look at what others are doing or writing, and feel the urge to cram my words into the box of conformity. And while it's good to plan things out, things unravel when I become fixated on interrupting the aliveness as it flows through me. Plans can be a starting point, but not the whole point.
The sharp chirp of birdsong pierces through the thought-stream and my thoughts turn to pondering why? Why do I want to interrupt the aliveness? Why to I feel the urge to conform? Why am I afraid when I put my work out there? All these questions point to the same thing. I can either deny, or allow the aliveness to freely flow into my experience, let it sing through my words.
Prelude to the Song
It wasn't a conscious act, but something I did to survive. I hid in the Silence. I literally shut down. My child mind was attempting to make sense of childhood emotional neglect (CEN) and abuse. My habitual mental pattern was to stay safe at all costs, and looking back I can see where I began to disassociate from the aliveness.
But here now, as the day awakens the crisp, clear sound of birdsong invites me to stop searching for a way to recapture the spark of happiness. I can stop the relentless search for a breakthrough and let life break through the cracks of my battered soul. There's nothing I need to do. I need only rest my mind in the aliveness.
The song of the Stonechat and repetitive nature of her "chit-chat" chirp points to the truth of who we are. Instinctual beings, experiencing the cycles of time through the gift of aliveness. Intriguingly, the Stonechat's migratory disappearance during the winter months led the Celts to believe she had the ability to become dormant. This seemingly otherworldly ability bestowed this shy, reclusive little bird with magic and blessings.
As the days grow lighter, Stonechat returns to life, her song chirps reminding us of the ever-changing Nature of all Life. Things change, seasons come and go. When the days grow colder the cheery "chit-chat" of the Stonechat will disappear. The physical presence of this little bird will be eerily absent, but she hasn't really gone. Trace the silence into your heart. Lean in to the perfect “I” that remains unchanged by changing moods.
When winter returns and the darkness comes, remember the song of the Stonechat. Do not mourn for the lighter days, for the dark days will soon pass. The world in which we live triggers the mind to embark on an endless search for happiness. But when we can lean into the sorrow, we actually discover our goal is not to unlearn, process or reset the mind chatter, but to STOP following it.
“Chit-chit-chat, chit-chit-chat"
Let the song of aliveness infuse into your being like a comforting balm. There is nothing you need to fix, change, retain or do to make the aliveness sing. The only requirement is the willingness to allow the aliveness, the rawness of the organic process to flow through you.