Steamed Hams, but it's a Steemit Post

in steemit •  7 years ago  (edited)

Steemit hopeful Seymour Skinner has invited one of the platform's biggest whales, Superwhale Chalmers, to have a look at his Steemit post, but things don't turn out quite as planned.

Chalmers: "Well, Seymour, I made it. Despite your grammar."
Skinner: "Ah, superwhale Chalmers, welcome! I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable experience!"
Chalmers:: "Mmm."

Skinner takes one last look at his post, and notices all the grammar mistakes and lack of formatting.

Skinner: "Oh, ye Gods! My post is ruined!"

Not to give up quite that easily, Seymour has an idea.

Skinner: "What if... I were to copypaste an article from the internet and disguise it as my own writing? Delightfully devilish, Seymour!"


But before Seymour can make a move, superwhale Chalmers grows suspicious.

Skinner: "Superwhale! I was just... editing the Steemit article on Wikipedia. It will attract new users and grow the site. The price will moon. Care to join me?"
Chalmers: "Why do you have 50 tabs of other people's articles and news stories open on your web browser?"
Skinner: "Oh, those aren't blogs or news stories. They're instructions on how to buy STEEM. For my post about STEEMED clams we're reading. Mmmm, steemed clams."

Seymour manages to convince Superwhale Chalmers and quickly plagiarizes his article before presenting it.

Skinner: "Superwhale, I hope you're ready for my recipe for mouth-watering hamburgers."
Chalmers: "I thought we were reading about steemed clams."
Skinner: "No, no! I said STEEMED HAMS. That's what I call hamburgers."
Chalmers: "You call hamburgers steemed hams?"
Skinner: "Yes. It's, uhh, regional dialect."
Chalmers: "Really? What region?"
Skinner: "Upstate Rocket Chat."
Chalmers: "Really? Well, I'm from #general and I've never heard anybody use the phrase steemed hams."
Skinner: "No, not in #general, no, it's a #pricean expression."
Chalmers: "I see."

Seymour has managed to dodge every bullet so far, but Chalmers keeps growing increasingly suspicious upon closer inspection of the article.

Chalmers: "You know, these recipes are quite similar to the ones they have at Wikipedia."
Skinner: "Oh, no! Patented Skinner Burgers! Old family recipe."
Chalmer: "For steemed hams?"
Skinner: "Yes."

Chalmers: "Yes, you call them steemed hams, despite the fact that they're obviously grilled?"

Skinner: "Yeah... Umm... You know, the...One thing I shou... Excuse me for one second."
Chalmers: "Of course."

Skinner: "Ahh, that was wonderful. Good times were had by all. I'm pooped."
Chalmers: "Yes, I should be..."

Suddenly, as this is going on, @cheetah has noticed the plagiarising and nuked the post to the ground.

Chalmers: "Good God, what is happening in there?!"
Skinner: "A flag war."

Chalmers: "A FLAG WAR?! AT THIS TIME OF DAY?! ON THIS PART OF THE SITE?! LOCALIZED ENTIRELY WITHIN YOUR POST?!"
Skinner: "Yes."
Chalmers: "May I see it?"
Skinner: "No."

Chalmers is done reading the post and gives Skinner his closing remarks.

Chalmers: "Well, Seymour, you're an odd fella, but I must say. You STEEM a Good Ham. I'm giving you a 100% upvote."

By far the stupidest thing I've ever done, thank you.
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/steamed-hams

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"Seymore, the site is crashing!"
"No mother, just a flag war."

:D

You Steem a good ham.

HAHA! That's ridiculous! It's always good to get some of that weird out into the world ;) Thank you for my seven chuckles today!

Hah, my pleasure. I guess. :D

lol this is one of the best posts I'v ever read here.

Lol, thanks! From someone with such an epic beard, that really means a lot.

Ahh, but when Steem and SBD go up...

lol...

Let's not hold our breaths. :D

I don't know if you should be heavily rewarded or banned for life

Why should I be banned?

beauty has a terror to it

Now that is a factual statement.

So that's how it's done.

  ·  7 years ago Reveal Comment