Big Fat Steemit Wedding - A Steemit Fanfict - By @skeptic

@ned was up earlier than usually. He was super excited. After all, today was his wedding day!

@ned danced through the room, sang a little bit and couldn't wait until the evening.
Oh, how excited @ned was! Today, he would finally be married to @dan! (A/N Oh yeah, @ned is ghey. If you wanna know how that happened, read my other stories!)

Of course for this day, @ned had chosen the best wedding cake. And the best wedding catering. And invited everyone on Steemit to come (except @berniesanders cuz he's a bitch).
@dan himself was also up early in the morning, doing his morning stretches and excercise so he'd look nice and buff in his suit.
@ned was trying out his wedding dress in front of the mirror There had been a mixup at the dresser but @dan thought it was kind of funny so they went along with it.

But of course, most importantly of all: @ned couldn't wait until the actual night. See. @ned had a bit of a sick kink. but he kept it a secret so far. @ned felt there had to be at least one thing @dan should only discover on their wedding night! Oh, how excited @ned was to finally share that final bit with @dan!

The day was coming along nice. Everyone showed up, a lot of big Steemit names. @ned received lots of compliments for his dress. @dan looked fabulous in his pink suit. His muscles nicely toned thanks to the suit being of just the right tightness. Oh, @ned loved watching his love. Those sweet lips of him touching the wine glass, soaking them up in the red liquid of the wine. Those lips he could kiss all night long.
And those hands, @ned looked them Abscentmindedly as @beanz was talking to him while he did so. @dan's hands were so full with power. The way he grabbed @ned's hands as they cut the cake. The way he held @ned's wrists as he cut the cake into slices. Those hands would be soon on @ned's chest.

There was a speech or two. Proclaiming that there had never been such a perfect couple as @ned and @dan. That the universe had never seen such love. And everyone cheered and rejoiced, @gamer00 cheered so loud he became horse for the rest of the night. And there were flower petals thrown by @lifeworship and rice thrown by @neoxian raining down on them and there were songs being sang in their names.( @sirlunchthehost was the wedding singger.)

Or so it should be. Because when @ned stood there at the altar about to give his word to @dan. Suddenly! An ExplosioN!

And from the smoke arised no one else but @berniesanders!

"Stop! You are making a mistake!" @berniesanders said. "I should be with @dan!!"

@berniesanders stood atop of the rubble while from everywhere flag-bots came charging in. They tied up all the wedding guests starting with @aggroed (and @cathy-xx, who had been the female priest!).

"I knew something was up," @berniesanders said. "You sounded way too happy last time we spat insults at each other." he said as he walked down from the rubble into the wedding area. "Of course, there was also this."
He took out a paper and folded it into an aeroplane. Then he fired it at @ned.

@ned opened it up and saw... it was their gay pink wedding invitation.
@berniesanders laughed loudly, "Oh yeah, you were willing to invite @rf4ken but not me?! So I did what I had the right to do... I went to @rf4ken and I defeated him and took his invitation.

@ned knew that @berniesanders could be powerful. Oh yeah, before @berniesanders turned out to be such a collosal biatch, they had been fighting @rf4ken together. But @ned didn't know that @berniesanders could have defeated @rf4ken...as long as he had enough motivation!

HAHAHAHAAHA, @berniesanders laughed. "Now to enact my plan!" Because not only will I stop your wedding, I will make your wedding IMPOSSIBLE!!!
The bastard then took @cathy-xx and shoved her forward. He did the same thing with @dan.

@berniesanders walked over to @dan and took his hand. "Now, @cathy-xx, wed me! Otherwise I will kill @gonzo! And if you, @ned try to stop me....I will ressurrect @rf4ken!"

@ned felt like he was kicked in the stomach. What an impossible choice! @ned thought.

Give up the love of his life or save the world from @rf4ken. It was almost as if fate or God set everythin in motion to torture @ned!

But little @ned didn't have to be in agony. Because @ned had a plan!

"Uuuurgh," @ned said, putting up his most bored voice, "Well, I didn't really want him anyway, I just said that to rile you up."

"What?!" said @berniesanders in utter disbelieve.

"Yeaaah, I was just so angry with you over, y'know, that thing. that I decided that I was going to marry @dan just to make you jealous."

And then, then @ned thought of the one thing that would make his ruse even better.

"Because really, said @ned, I love you."

@berniesanders stood there baffled. All the flag-bots looked at him unsure what to do now.

"Y... you mean that?" said @berniesanders with a twinkle or joy in his eyes.

"Of course not!" said @dan and in that unguarded moment he knocked @berniesanders unconscious with a soccer kick in the nutz so hard there was a POP noise..

"Haha, you didn't expect that to happen, did you Bitch?!" @dan yelled loudly and laughed afterwards.

All the other guests started laughing and @valued-customer laughed so hard he pissed him self.
@ned looked around and made a little giggle.

Afterwards, when the police came and arrested @berniesanders, the wedding continued.

And as @ned predicted. In the evening, finally he could show off his kink. And then it turned out that @dan too had a secret, he whispered at @ned, taking off his shirt and revealing that he had been wearing nipple clamps all this time. That was kinda hot as well, @ned thought and it became a really really nice night.

Although, deeply, somewhere... @ned felt a little doubt over his proclaimation of love towards @berniesanders. Maybe there was a core of truth in it. Maybe their rivalry was nothing more than a elaborate foreplay? Non-the less. Now it was too late. @dan was @ned's life partner now. Although... maybe... when @berniesanders finally gets out of prison, @ned might be able to convince @dan to explore more kinks with the both of them....

The end

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