Patient children - a contradiction in terms?

The prerequisite for patience is the ability to plan ahead in the future. At first, children can not do that and later only limited. Therefore, they find it so difficult to be patient and to wait for the need fulfillment. The smaller the children, the less patience one can demand.

Children live in the here and now, the concept of time is completely alien to them and incomprehensible. The basic requirement for a child to be patient is that it can understand terms like later, tomorrow or later, and that depends on age and development. However, the patience of parents is often put to the test - it's easier if you know what you can expect from your child.

The thing with patience - how children become patient

Newborns are unable to wait because they do not know that time is passing and that there is a later one besides the now. Over the course of the month, they begin to develop a sense of time and thus gradually the capacity for patience:

• At about six months, babies have realized that certain things keep repeating themselves. Consistent procedures, such as bathing, feeding or changing, help them to find their way through time, even if they are not aware of it at all.
• At the age of twelve months children have already learned a lot of storylines and can remember them. It is striking that they often insist that the order be preserved. This is how they orient themselves, because time is still bound to action. With detached terms, they can still do little.
• At about one and a half years, the child swears that there is past and future in addition to the present. This realization goes hand in hand with the idea of ​​the ego. Children then begin to understand that they are individuals and that they are not just today, but that they have existed before. Now they also learn to understand and tolerate separations better: Dad goes to work in the morning, but comes back in the evening. He was there all the time, even when he was not there.
• From about two years on, the childish ideas of time become more and more differentiated, but the concepts of time are still narrowly defined: "equal" means really the same, so in a few seconds or minutes.
• Real patience arises in kindergarten age. Now the little ones learn to postpone needs for a moment, understand that some things do not postpone today but tomorrow, and can plan first actions (such as dating the best kindergarten friend or child birthday).

Expectations of the parents and the childish (in) patience

In general, expectations of others quickly create anger and dissatisfaction, especially when dealing with children. In terms of patience, you should therefore always make clear what your child's age is even capable of. To expect a baby to wait half an hour for his food is simply unrealistic, and when your two-year-old cries because he can not date himself to play with his best buddy tomorrow, it should inspire understanding rather than anger. In addition to the child's development, the nature of the child also always plays a role. Some children are faster in thinking, feeling and acting and thus usually impatient. Last but not least, parents should always look at themselves: children learn patience - like most others - through their adult role models.

Patience can be learned

Patience is not innate, but must be experienced and learned. Parents can support their children here - right from the start. The extent to which the ability to develop patience also depends to a great extent on the child's trust. A baby and toddler who has learned that things are going to repeat reliably will in all likelihood be more patient later than a child who is disappointed or unsettled by his surroundings over and over again in his own expectations and in terms of his need fulfillment. In the online issue of Wissenschaft aktuell, an interesting article entitled "Patience is more than a matter of character" can be found on this topic.

The call to be patient and to wait should always be communicated in an age appropriate way. At the age of two, her child can wait a bit, but it can not do much with abstract terms such as tomorrow, later, or in 20 minutes. It is better to replace these terms with concrete information such as "sleep again" or "when I've finished mowing the lawn", because that's how children can do something with it. In parallel with the development of patience, a toddler should generally learn that parents do not immediately stop and lie down, but that it is sometimes important to be on the phone, cook the food, or read the report. Disturbance and impatience should not be rewarded with attention. However, this behavior makes sense only from the age of two if the child can already grasp the first basic concepts of patience.

Did I forget something? Can you think of any more points?
I´m looking forward to your experiences and additions.

Other Dad-Chronicals Stories

Nakedness and the childish sense of shame

playing with Children while having fun

My daughter a real WINNER

Buying shoes for the Kids

hooray , daddy is coming home!

Time out from the Family

DAD-Chronicals : Bringing children closer to nature

Star children - when parents have to say goodbye before life begins

Vocational preparation - How does my child find his dream job?

Dad, what is tomorrow? - The development of sense of time in children

HALLOWEEN : Carving instructions for pumpkin with children

What values ​​are important to you in life? Your children will pay close attention

Baby equipment: what has proven itself and what is less important

---

Follow VimmTV (@vimm) for frequent updates, contests and giveaways for our early adopters!