it can definitely soften the blow. If I'm reading over a story and after a certain line of dialogue I think "Wow, the protagonist is a jerk." When and if that is contrary to what the author would want the reader to think, then it would help the author to know exactly that, wouldn't it?
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This is about wording exactly. What you can say safely always relates to yourself, not the others. Here's an example: "When I am reading how this guy behaves, I feel resentment".
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So the idea is a more diplomatic approach to giving feedback, and also to focus the feedback on exactly how it makes you feel?
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If we focus the feedback on exactly how it makes us feel it will be more diplomatic. There are more ideas than that but it's a good basis. It's Thomas Gordon's approach (the author of P.E.T.). Also Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg is a good book on the subject.
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This makes perfect sense. It's the same philosophy that says to use "I" statements and "feeling" based statements when you disagree with a loved one. When you have to say how you feel about something--how you really felt --then your language and phrasing is already less confrontational than anything that begins with "You." "You should cut this" sounds more confrontational than "I didn't feel this was necessary."
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That's it!
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