What makes YOU Philly? - A Philadelphia Diatribe

What makes YOU Philly?? By Noxsoma... (For my Philly peeps) photos by Noxsoma

Someone left a copy of Philadelphia [Suburbs] Magazine at the job. The cover story is how Philly shaped the lives of about twenty “celebrities” who no longer live in Philly, or the suburbs. Half of these so-called Philadelphians aren’t from Philly proper, but the suburbs, some further out than others. Half of these jamokes have no Philly cred in my book. Take it from me; I’m so Philly it’s painful. I’m so Philly it’s embarrassing.

Being from Philly is like having parents that abuse you, but you still love them because they’re your parents and you probably wouldn’t even narc them out even if DHS came to talk to you at your school. However, you can’t wait to get away from them, or you stay and turn out like them.

Two of the characteristics most of the credible Philadelphians (either born here, educated here or lived here long enough) mentioned in the questionnaires was loyalty and neighborhoods. This goes back to the abusive parents metaphor, so don’t even front because you know it’s an accurate comparison. The way Philly is set up, chopped up into darn near self containing neighborhoods, little cities almost (each ‘hood has the essentials, coin op Laundromat, Chinese take-out, corner church, corner bar, bodega, public school named after some obscure public figure from Philadelphia history, you get the idea) breeds local loyalty. Your first friends are your neighbors and you all go to the same schools for your whole life unless you can break free to a magnet or charter school. This kind of kinship develops strong bonds.

Being Philly isn’t riding into town on the regional rails because you’ve got season tickets to one of the sports teams or to see a show, or to shop on Walnut Street. Dropping the names of places where you can buy a cheese-steak at 2AM or a soft pretzel is for tourists, wanna-bees and poseurs. We can usually tell right away whether you’re from Philly or not. (Hint, looking for First and/or 14th Street is a dead giveaway.)

My friends will tell you and me that I’m “so negative about Philly.” Yeah and..? I love it and hate it the way only a native of Philadelphia can, or would dare to. There are people and cities in all of our lives that provide examples of how we want to be and how we don’t want to be, Philly is the latter for me. On the upside, adversity can build strong character. Being chased by thugs and cops makes one 360 suspicious and not very trusting. Not being able to rely on a transportation system or many other “services” makes one creative in their alternative methods of accomplishing tasks. It makes us tough, gritty, cautious, street smart and yeah a bit hostile. Leaving Philly for another city, any other city including New York, LA, Detroit, Miami or Seattle is like learning to walk on Jupiter and then coming to Earth. We (at least I) feel lighter, more powerful, almost bullet proof… at least bullshit proof. If you can handle shit here, you can handle it ANYWHERE!!

Dodging traffic crossing Logan Circle in Philly makes crossing the Avenues around any square in New York seem like child’s play, and don’t even mention San Diego where I’ve never even come close to being hit by a car. It almost seems as if road rage doesn’t exist out there. (I’m sure it does, although you’ll probably find a recently transplanted Philadelphian behind the wheel if you experience it.)

My sister always says, “Philadelphia is a great city to be from.” I tend to agree. I’ve always gotten props or at least cautious stares when I reveal my home town. “West Philly,” I tell them, and I unconsciously lean; I even semi-consciously throw up a “W” with my fingers so they won’t confuse me with a fraudulent Philadelphian from say, Wynnewood, Ambler, Langhorne, or geeze New Jersey. (I do give Tina Fey cred for Upper "Dirty" Darby though.)

So now that I’m done with this diatribe – what is it that makes YOU Philly? Is it having the balls to ride the Night Owl instead taking a cab? Or like Ana Ortiz put it, going for a “swim” in the Logan Fountain? Don’t give any of that cheese steak crap either. Maybe it’s actually having been to the “plat” in the summer… I used to play little league baseball out there. Perhaps going to any of the Summer Festivals that go on in the neighborhoods, the ones on Penn’s landing are for tourists.

The Philly experience is about the bad as well as the good. It’s the bad experiences, (being mugged right around the corner from my house and being stopped by the cops on my way to work because I fit the vague description of a suspect) that give us our edge. It’s calling the cops on a knife wielding neighbor, dealing with gagging body funk on the subway in the summer, comforting a parent whose child was hit by an asshole speeding through the streets of the neighborhood, watching your neighborhood burn because the cops dropped (essentially) a bomb on a house. It’s violent protests, violent retribution, the lure of drugs and addiction and fighting the malaise of what can seem like a hopeless battle.

The way I see it there are four options – you can stay in this city and try and maybe conquer it; you can escape and adopt another city with an advertised "better" quality of life; you can fall into the Philly experience and go with the flow, or you can let this city bury you.

So, what makes YOU PHILLY?
PS: Feel free to pass this along to your neighbors, those here and who've been and stayed elsewhere... We tend to take "Philly" with us where ever we go...