The software hidden inside the madman's stare - [Warning: has one makeup artist wound image]

in story •  8 years ago  (edited)

What goes on in a mind can be too much for some. What goes on in a computer program can also be too much.

This is going to be a weird hybrid blog that jumps between fictional ramblings of someone drifting towards insanity and some pseudo-code reference to programming and software. I have no idea if this will turn out good or not, it is just what I felt inspired to write today.

In my cell


Today I was released from my straight jacket and the padded room. I had long since counted the number of divots in the cell padding, counted the number of edges per padding piece, and counted the vertices where the edges combined. The numerology is there why can't anyone see it. I have so often raved and stated the urgency that they pay heed to these numbers. They are there, why can't they see them? They might fixate on 666 if I were to say something about that, yet those would be only the religious ones, or the fans of horror stories. Those are not even the important numbers, yet they won't listen. They would not release me, until I realized I needed to fool them. I carefully chose my words and did not mention the numbers for a few days.

Source: secretstorms.com

Loops


In computers things called loops are important. In simple terms they are a way to tell the computer to execute the same set of instructions over and over. If you wanted to make 10 cakes and you followed the recipe 10 times then the recipe instructions are much like computer programming instructions. It might look something like this.

  1. There are zero cakes
  2. Make a cake using this recipe
  3. If the number of cakes is less than 10 then go back to step 2


Source: thehouseofjones.wordpress.com

That is a loop... in C, C++, or C++ code there are several ways this loop may be written.

for(int NumberOfCakes=0;NumberOfCakes<10;NumberOfCakes++)
{
Follow cake instructions;
}

NumberOfCakes=0;
while(NumberOfCakes<10)
{
Follow cake instructions;
NumberOfCakes=NumberOfCakes+1;
}

Eating my meal


They don't trust me with any utensils. They don't trust me with a metal plate. They don't trust me with a plastic plate. They brought me some bread, and a pile of peas on a paper plate.


Source: wholisticwoman.com

How many peas are there?

It looks like there are 121 of them. Is the hidden meaning in that number 1+2+1=4? Or is it hidden in the 11x11 which, look there it is again... 11x11 or 1+1+1+1=4. Why can't they see things like this? It is everywhere. They never understood even at the beginning...

Initializing the Loop


I was a respected physicist. I was seeking to prove the concept of God or gods. The hidden messages in the natural occurrences of the Fibonacci sequence, the mysterious golden ratio, and the fractal nature of life was a siren and it's song had a strong pull on me. I longed to run towards that mistress and her promises. The mistress of numbers. This was the beginning. I was asking simple questions about reality.

Source: www.youtube.com

Infinite Loops


If you want to bring a computer to its knees or at the very least bring a program to a crawl and possibly a stand still one of the easiest ways is to create a loop that never has an instruction on when to exit.

Let me rewrite the cake instruction loop to illustrate this.

  1. There are zero cakes
  2. Make a cake using this recipe.
  3. Go to step 2

You would never stop making cakes if you followed those instructions. You would endlessly and forever be consigned to the making of cakes. Cakes would be your reality.

Source: www.freestockphotos.biz

In one of the code examples that showed the while loop this is very easy to illustrate as follows:

NumberOfCakes=0;
while(NumberOfCakes<10)
{
Follow cake instructions;
}

There is a test in that code for when there are 10 cakes, but inside the loop it never increases NumberOfCakes when a cake is made so as far as that test is concerned there are always 0 cakes.


Source: thenextweb.com

This can result in the computer program endlessly following those instructions and never moving onto the rest of the program. Welcome to the concept of the infinite loop.

What is God


I shovel a pea into my mouth as I remember how I got here. I had started to consider this mistress of numbers, this goddess of creation. What was she? If she made us, who made her? Where did she come from? This was a concerning new wrinkle in the thought pattern. If something made the god that created our reality then what created that god? Who created the thing that created the god that created us? Who created the thing that created the thing that created the god that created us? I kept looking and I spiraled ever further inwards. I kept looking and I spiraled ever further outwards. There was no end, there was no beginning. What is it? The numbers are there.... Damn it!!! Why can't they see it.

Source: www.christianitydisproved.com

"Damn you people, why can't you see the numbers... they are right there in front of us!!" I yelled and then I realized. Maybe they cannot see because they are blind. Oh how blissful that must be.

Source: www.paperboard-products.com

I look down at the now empty paper plate and roll it into as tightly wound a tube as I can manage.

"I think I'll join you." I say as I ram the now spear like roll of paper into my left eye. Oh the pain. It is excruciating and I feel my food coming back up. The blood is warm as it hits the tube.

Source: makeupartistforfilm.com

"I can still see the numbers." I firm myself and spear my right eye with a liquid pop of a sound. I groan, I cry. Oh how crying makes things worse as the salt from my tears mingles with my wounds.

Yet are the numbers gone? "No! No! No!" I can still see them right there in my mind. Damn it, I'd heard the saying the mind's eye. I thought it was a figment. I must find a way to poke that eye out as well.

"Wait... What are you doing? Where are you taking me? Who are you?" I babble as some new hands grab and haul me away to a place I can no longer see. I know not who my abductors are as I can not see them, and I do not really hear them either through all of the screeching and babbling that I am making.

Who made you?

Source: faithsmessenger.com

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Very creative mix between reality and fantasy. I personally believe in God. To me we are far too complex creatures with too many unique features to be accidentally created. The entropy of the earth leads to degradation and not evolution.

It's a common example, but if I were to find a rolex watch in the middle of the jungle, I would believe there was a creator and not that the jungle somehow came together and made a watch. We are infinitely more complex than a simple rolex. So while I may be wrong, I believe we are created beings.

As to "who" created God, since I believe we are created beings, I also believe we do not have the same knowledge of the one who made us.

I could be wrong, but to me it takes less faith to believe this than it does to believe we somehow evolved from dust into the intelligent beings we are today.

I also love the fibonacci sequence and find it fascinating how many things rely on this very principle.

Heheh yeah this was fictional. It was not meant to reflect my own personal beliefs.

I call myself an atheist/deist. I explained this contradiction in one of my personally favorite posts that did not do very well.

Though if I am writing fiction I am very comfortable writing characters that have very different beliefs from my own. I felt like doing a nutty physicist story and I thought mixing the real with the fiction might have some strange and possibly appealing "texture". :)

All your work makes me think and I like perspectives from all different beliefs :)

It's funny how some posts we may think are the best wind up with less rewards than others we may have written more quickly.

I remember reading your atheist/deist piece. It's not often that you can get many different religious beliefs and personal beliefs in one place and discuss things respectfully without making the other viewpoint seem to be foolish or converse without animosity.

Steemit is a very valuable for the way it drives valuable conversations

I agree. One of the most open and thought provoking places I've ever been.