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“The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my mother an apology.” - Ray Romano

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Why did the bird go to the hospital?

Because he needed a Tweetment.

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A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer. ‘This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it you.’ The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, ‘Which do you want, son?’ The boy takes the quarters and leaves. ‘What did I tell you?’ said the barber. ‘That kid never learns!’ Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. ‘Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?’ The boy licked his cone and replied, ‘Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!’

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"Make me one with everything," says the Buddhist to the tofu hot dog vendor. Then, after getting his tofu hot dog, the Buddhist hands the vendor a $20 bill. The vendor takes the money and begins helping the next customer. The Buddhist looks puzzled and asks the vendor, "Where is my change?" The vendor replies, "Change comes from within."

Happy Mother's Day!

(Gif sourced from Giphy.com)

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*When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.” - Erma Bombeck

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*I am an American novelist, poet, traveler, and crypto-enthusiast. If you’ve enjoyed my work please sign up for my author newsletter at my website. Newsletter subscribers will receive exclusive updates and special offers and your information will never be sold or shared.

Eric Vance Walton - Media

www.ericvancewalton.net
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