Sarah David and I started getting close. One day after church, Toyosi, my best
friend, and I, stopped by at Sarah’s house. Sarah had a very cute elder brother, Daniel,
that Toyosi and I started crushing on from the very first time we saw him. It was a
pleasure knowing Sarah’s family. Her elder sister was very beautiful and most surprising
was their mum. She looked way younger than her age.
Sarah’s mum served us rice and stew that afternoon. I honestly did not recover from
that tasty meal in a while. I kept asking Sarah when next her mum would cook rice and
stew again. We would laugh about it.
Sarah was like me, in that her parents too were separated. But unlike me, she lived
with her mum. And for the first time, I found someone who could relate with me and
understand how I felt. She lived with her dad and stepmother before her mum came for
her and her siblings, so she understood the feeling of having a strange woman on your
parents’ matrimonial bed. Toyosi was an amazing friend, but she could not feel my pain
as nobody can feel your pain like someone who has been in the exact same shoes.
On another day, Toyosi and I visited Sarah again because we did not see her in
church. On getting to her house, we discovered she was sick. She had cramps and was
throwing up. That was news to me. I did not know what that was but Toyosi did. It was
then it dawn on me that I was different from my two friends.
Toyosi and Sarah were already developing breasts, but my chest was still flat. They
were already menstruating. I was not. It got me really worried and I wondered what was
wrong with me. Month after month, I was expecting blood, but nothing came. I kept
looking at my chest and kept seeing the same thing; nothing was growing out. It was a
depressing time for me.
I remember trying on my sisters’ bras at different times. I would look at myself in
the mirror to see how my clothes would fit or what I would look like with breasts. I heard
that there was an ant that came out at night, the myth had it that if you put it on your chest
and it bites you, your breasts would start growing. Silly me! I did it several times and was
bitten by the ant on those occasions. No change!I was so worried I started feeling less of a girl. It became a prayer point for me, such
that when we were told to ask God for one thing, it was either I was asking to start
menstruating or I was asking for a change in my ‘chest status’. Toyosi and Sarah teased
me on many occasions. They were wearing bras, but I was wearing singlets.
In the course of time, Sarah’s brother started liking Toyosi and I was not happy
about it. I cried my eyes out. I thought it was because I was the flat-chested one with
nothing at the back either. I was shapeless, compared to them. I started picking up
unnecessary quarrels with them. My self esteem was crumbling, but it was not obvious
to them as I put up a strong façade in public.
Toyosi and Sarah played important roles in my childhood. We share many
memories that the pages of this book cannot accommodate. We cooked, fetched water,
went to church, and did other things together. We sometimes chose dress codes for
Sundays, did same hair styles and even wore each other’s clothes.
With time, thankfully, I took my mind off my flat chest. Then one day, as I was with
my friends, Toyosi pointed at my chest and asked me a question. I looked. Lo and behold,
they were there! I am giggling now.
Toyosi Oyesile gave me my first bra; she gave me from the ones her mum bought for
her but were too small for her. And that was how Juliana Olayode was inducted into
adolescence!