Alcoholic Stories #17: Alcoholism & relationships

"“The ass is the face of the soul of sex.” "
-Charles Bukowski

Welcome to this series of weird memoirs-stories off my life.
Previous story: Alcoholic Stories #16: Getting my first job. Picking up chicks from an asylum.

Alcohol and relationships don't mix, who would've thought so?

Personally, I like women. A lot. I like a lot of things about them. But they all have one thing in common: sooner or later they will make a problem out of my drinking. Which is weird, because I don't attract exactly saints or the proper girls.

This first girl appeared in a really weird period of my life, despite the minor fact that my whole previous life has been pretty weird, but she appeared when I was a walking train wreck. And so was she. Go figure. She had wealthy parents, a free place, loved to cuddle, was cute and soft. Great looking at that time. Bit clingy, but I didn't mind that. The worst thing about her was that she liked to do soft drugs and party a lot. At first I was more of a bodyguard to her, we never had an official relationship, people just around us kept telling us that we were. I don't know if she was seeing other people at that time and quite frankly I didn't care about it, either. I was busy doing other stupid shit most of the time, anyway.

So we party, at my place, at her place, at her friends places, everywhere really, I get along amazing with her friends and it's just a vicious cycle of partying, really. I avoid all drugs myself, but she enjoyed smoking, pills and stuff like Xanax, a lot. I'd be a hypocrite to whine about that and I liked our settlement. Youth is supposed to be enjoyed, right.

Fast forward 3 months, I invite her and her bestie to my place to drink, while I'm literally drinking with the worst alcoholic I know of all time. I've yet to introduce him to this series. So they arrive and the first thing she says "you're drunk, again?!" and I was confused, of course. She chills for a moment and then starts talking about how she decided to stop drinking and that we don't hang out regularly and that I'm destroying my life with alcohol... Well, no shit, but woman I've been putting up with your shit and if you want to change the way you liked me, feel free to fuck off. So she did.

Fast forward few years, she's still an alcoholic junky who has lost a lot of her looks to drugs, it's just so obvious. It's a shame. She was actually well educated and had traveled the world. We attempted to meet one more time, but the spark was gone, completely.

After that there have been around 10 girls who come and go, every now and then, but there have been no official relationships, it just doesn't work out like that. For a short moment I was known as quite the player, but it's weird to think that as of today, that I've never been in a real relationship. It's a weird and a lonely feeling. It's just a weird feeling to know there are so many broken souls who are just incompatible, mentally. A feeling that pursued me to drink on for a quite few years afterwards.

Till to the point I completely gave up on the idea of relationships, I realize that I am far from perfect and I need to work on getting my shit together. Or find a woman, who can learn to live with me. But I'm in no rush.

The takeaway

Remember kids, alcohol and drugs are not a good foundation for a relationship.

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Image sources: giphy.com

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“We don’t even ask happiness, just a little less pain.”
― Charles Bukowski