Alcoholic Stories #18: How to not pick up chicks (part I)

It might come as a big surprise but I like women.
Almost as much I do love drinking. Actually, it's a difficult call which I love more. I hate both of them. It's a love-hate relationship. I've spoken about my internet dating and tinder experiences, no luck there, but i really like the old school approach, just walking up to a girl, hitting up a conversation and just go with the flow to see where it goes.

I hate clubs, so my main place to meet ladies is, uhm, a bar. Any bar will do, I'm not picky. Instead of a "how not to" tutorial I'm going to list down few instances how I tricked to pick up women in a bar, that I barely remember. This post is the first instance.

Barfly Method

Me, Ginny and 2 other dudes enter a bar, after a long day of drinking, but the bar is damn packed, nowhere to sit, except that there's one coach with 2 ladies sitting, where I think we could fit in. So I approach the ladies, give them the stupidest smile I ever could, to get them laughing and invite ourselves in - they're alright with it. We introduce each other and I'm trying to be a great wingman for Ginny, but Ginny really isn't good at talking to women. 2 Other mates were chasing this one girl and I was left with the second one. I wasn't too impressed. I was hoping Ginny would score, but the girl wasn't giving him any attention, instead she insisted on bothering me. I ignored her and just kept drinking. A lot. On another note, this woman was not, I repeat: was NOT, attractive. At all.

I'm getting so drunk out of my mind that I barely understand what's going on, when everybody suddenly stand up and people say they're heading towards a club. Well I hate clubs so I'm pretty happy to get rid of the people, but on the way there, we sit for a moment, on bench on a street, somehow some alcohol appears and... Things are getting blurry, Ginny, the 2 dudes and second girl are all gone. It's just me and this not-so-attractive girl beside me drinking now. I'm pretty scared. I want to leave, but she somehow insists to come drinking with her... I somehow do. We hit another bar. And we start slamming tequila shots. As time goes on I am barely able to see her and by that time I've also found her looks to be pretty tolerable. We make out a little, she shows me some nudes off phone, I think they were OK, drink some more shots and she proposes we take a taxi and hit her place, I agree. But first, guzzle a beer pint down. Bar gets closed at the same time, I head out of the door and puke all over her and myself.

Much to my surprise she wasn't feeling horny anymore. I wonder why.

What did I learn from this night? Not much to be honest.