Be My Complaining Partner Matt Sterbate, Please!
by The Invisible Man

Dear Matt Sterbate,

I am your number one fan!

The first time I saw you, I felt happy. I could not believe a singer could be so sweaty and annoying.

Your role in the world cup was ugly and simply dirty.

I've created a collection of umbrella to remind me of you. My bedroom dresser is your shrine, lined with cellphone.

My ambition is to go to hospital together and engage in some serious complaining. I'd make you cookies then we'd watch movies until the sun set.

I'd love it if you could reply to me - tomorrow would be best. Oh, say you'll be my complaining partner Matt Sterbate, please!

With your reply, please enclose some more umbrella for my ever-growing collection.

Please, please, please reply.
Mysha Long

Thanks for reading,
The Invisible Man
@theinvisibleman