Another year's come and gone. New years Eve's Social media feeds had been a testament to the hopes and wishes of many. Fireworks and Parties, intermingled with casual nods to challenging experiences throughout the year, which perhaps tested our faith and resolve. A sea of smiles, and thumbs up, but below the surface like a bubbling lake of goo, the darker side of things, flowed through the lives of many.
I manage to blank it out of my mind, thinking, this will only serve to bring me down, make things worse, 'you need to focus on what's going right!' and to a large extend most of that is true. The thing is, not focusing on the Dark aspects of life, doesn't mean they don't exist. The world is awash with suffering and bad mistakes, so what possible good would come of looking at the darker side of life. Just now in my mind for a moment I begun to feel like some kind of sith lord (star wars reference - evil guy) but what came to me is this, understanding your darkness and welcoming it are two seperate things.
Let me tackle a aspect of this subject which I found myself engaged in. Ideas of having a hard time or anger, are often frowned upon or hushed, they are not pleasant or fun experiences, they often challenge any equilibrium we may be feeling and even feel as if they demotivate us. The Idea of pain is unpleasant, we'd rather it just go, so we find ourselves staying clear of it, and watching out for those who present it to us. This does not mean that these elements do not persist regardless, on the contrary they continue on, to enable our light. Often, in day to day interactions I find others or sometimes myself trying to gloss over the darker aspects of life. A tiny glare, subtle body cue, or gentle giggle shrugs off the potential 'difficulty bombshel'l on the horizon.
It's seems frowned upon to discuss difficulties, but why? Perhaps it's social medias attempt to encourage a continual flow of happy aligned people. Whatever it is, there exists a side of ourselves we therefore don't observe and as a result know the answers to, it's something difficult and tiresome, but it is, ultimately a part of who we are.
Recently my attitude regarding unamusing areas of life has been to put on the blinkers. One day while shooting a video with a friend of mine we began discussing some fairly difficult subjects. I'd been warned many a time not to scare off my youtube audience, so I called the shoot to a halt mid take and had a chat with my friend. I explained that this might not be ideal, and although i understand and appreciated the points it may scare off the audience, at this point he did something very simple but which reminded me of something very powerful. He pointed to a small amulet he was holding, and said 'do you know what this is? it's the yin and Yang, and it represents both the light and the dark inside of us, because without one the other could not exist'. Up went my inner bullshit radar, and one again, I saw the error of my ways.
My aversion to the difficulty grew from a very dark period in my life in which I felt the suffering had almost swallowed me up, and at this point I choose to avert my gaze from my inner and outward suffering and focus mostly on what I felt would make me grow and nourish me. I was looking to strengthen myself and feed the void of love I felt. Contemplation points us in the direction of aspects of ourselves which we believe represent a more genuine sense of who we are, and with that, aspects which will enable a more whole and happy sense of self, and eventually this enabled me to finally get it, and remind me once again the point my friend had made.
Without Darkness the light wouldn't seem so bright, and without understanding why we feel the darkness that we feel, we wouldn't understand the use of that darkness. The night is sometimes scary and bewildering but the morning is that much nicer once the sun rises. We might shun the darker side of life, but it exists to point the way to something better, it is what motivates us to improve or shows us what to change. All sides of us deserve respect because all sides of us are ultimately who we are.
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Have a excellent new year!