This morning I've been doing the usual activities as a mother, then I hang clothes with a hanger.
For a moment a man looks at me cynically, yes he is my brother named zacki, after which he enters his room, after a long quarrel with his wife. I'm just silent ordinary but my heart feels there is a thing that muddle with them, I realize the quarrel has something to do with me, I am here living with my mother and besides there I, my husband and my son here in this house there is also another family, that's my brother and his wife's children, we are here living together.
Our togetherness rarely fits, my sister and I are very different, she is quiet and I am indifferent. Beginning of our quarrel is about homework, it is often we talk to each other, my mother is old and I as a child do more home alktifitas, the thing that often become a problem is when busy busy cleaning my sister's wife relaxed more relaxed, silent, and if I complain to my mother, only a defense against her help in front of me.
I often grieve and cry in front of my husband "Dad when we have our own house, I do not stay here, all this time I always memgalah" with sobs in front of my husband and son.
My husband is a patient person he just hugged and said "love sabarlah, work with sincerity, learn patience, itung-itung mak mak". my 1.5 year old son grows into a lively and very active little girl, he is named deva.
Our life goes with time, my husband is a pastry seller, although the producers are not many but we are grateful because God has given a lawful sustenance. Every week two or three times my husband works selling cakes, and I am just at home taking care of our son, I feel not at home at home and only make this heart sad, because mom just flattering his son my sister, my son is same as his grandson, I realize I it's not much money, my husband works with income just barely, unlike my big money brother, who gave more material to my mother.
I do not have much material but I was always there when my mother was sick, when she needed me, and I also realized I was just a poor kid who could not give anything to my mother.
But grateful I'm still with my son and husband who always exist and love me, a husband who always patience who always advise me to be patient.
After 1 year we lived mixed with the mother of her father, brother and his wife, many things I learned, became a loser, a sad heart I learned to hold back my inner sadness.
Every complaint I just pour to my husband.
Unlike my sister's wife who always complains what I've always been up against him, the start of a fight that triggered the act of a neighbor who likes to pit the sheep, to break my brother's anger against me in the presence of husband and mother that morning.
It's really sick he scolded me with a painful remark, mother cried and said "it's enough do not have to quarrel, let other people talk anything do not have to listen, others will only damage our household".
But I really can not stand having to live together, I want to have my own home but I do not have money, I am the youngest of six siblings. The other child is married and has his own house. My sister and I are still living with my mother, my sister works in a mining company.
Right now I can only be patient with me and my husband can get a job and may Allah give us sustenance in order to quickly make a home. Aamiin
