Introduction:
Drumming At The End Of Time is an attempt to remember, record, compile, and arrange my significant life experiences and ideas in a way that can be understood - so as to bring together some kind of wisdom, story, and meaning for my own life and perhaps, in turn, the lives of others. I’m not entirely sure as to why I feel compelled to present this body of experiences and memories - but I feel for some reason I must, sometimes I see it as proud to think my life is something worth sharing, but still I am compelled. I am presenting my own personal understanding in relation to my own personal experience. I believe we should think about our story often, and I have found that in doing so, you can more easily find your place in the world, and become conscious of the part you play in the story of life, continually unfolding with your participation.
- Lochlan Hunt / huntloch
Chapter 1 That fine line between courage and stupidity. Nov 2014.
I had graduated high school and turned 18 in the same week in mid September. After our exams had completed, 5 of my high school friends and I, travelled to a holiday home on the south coast of New South Wales, in a little town called Bermagui. Bermagui would be fully populated around the time of the holidays, but since we were outside of peak season, it was almost deserted - we had the beach and town mostly to ourselves the entire week. On the drive down, I travelled mostly with my friend David (Nathan) in his Ford Falcon ute. In between smoking weed in the passenger seat, we spent the drive listening to music, having deep conversations and reading aloud.
This trip for me would symbolise the leaving behind of the old, and an embracing of the new. I wanted so desperately to forget about my schooling, I felt like a prisoner being released for the first time in a long time and truly felt traumatised, though I did not know it. The significance of this trip was made especially real to me on one of our outings to a local rock jump.
The sea was rough and dangerous, and like the rest of Bermagui, it was completely vacant of other people. The idea of the climb up the rock face and jumping off into the ocean below excited all of us, but upon arriving and observing the swim, climb, and jump, we nearly all backed out. But something within me needed to do it. I needed to prove to myself that courage could be found somewhere within me. I think even then I knew that the real world was not going to be merciful. I put on my wetsuit and followed Josh (Matt) into the crashing waves - the cliff was situated on the North side of a lagoon scattered with rocks. To reach the cliff you needed to swim directly across from the south side, between the rocks and then climb up onto the shelf of jagged rock that lay below the cliff. Our friends followed a path through the adjacent bush up and around onto the top of the cliff. Josh (Matt) and I reached the bottom of the cliff and scrambled up onto the rocks - I turned to look at the beach behind, and in a cliche’ and extremely corny way, I said to myself “no going back”.
I have always been extremely scared of heights, and I still am. But what I know now, is that all fear comes from a lack of confrontation with the unknown, and for many of us, death and what comes after is he biggest unknown there is. I have accepted the reality that everything happens for a reason in its perfect timing, and that even our death has a time and place - therefore we don’t need to worry about preventing it, it will happen when it is supposed to - and at the time of climbing the cliff, if it was then that I was supposed to die, then so be it. I have found that living my life in this extreme sort of manner is extremely freeing. Constantly walking the line between sane and insane, dead and alive, brings about an awareness and consciousness of the moment that no drug or religion can provide. Casting away everything that attempts to define you, and letting go of everything you think you ‘have’ in each and every moment, is the first step to surrendering your life to the tides of creation. There is immense complexity in the planning of our lives, but we so often fight it. But when we consciously participate in the plan of our maker - we are truly alive.
I swallowed and wiped the salt water from my eyes - I felt sick in the stomach. I looked up at the cliff above me and began to follow the steps that Josh (Matt) was specifying, about halfway up my foot slipped and I felt my body drop momentarily. Instantly a rush of adrenaline hit me, and the reality of falling become much closer. I climbed on and reached the top. The peak of the rock jump was a flat outcropping of cliff about 5 metres across - our friends were waiting for us at the top, although only David(Nathan),Josh (Matt) and Myself would be jumping. The wind was strong and after standing upright and feeling momentarily ‘safe on solid ground’, a gust of wind would soon bring back some humility. There was a sense of urgency to get down off the cliff, and jumping was our only option.
To clear the rocks below, you needed some type of a run up, but this was hard to conjure with the slopped cliff being only 5 or so metres wide. (Josh)Matt would jump first, then (David)Nathan, then myself. It would be a moment of freedom - being completely detached from the earth, and in a way, being completely detached from the definitions and expectations that the world had given us. The landing was rough and cold and we all had a fresh revelation and appreciation of life. We allowed nature to conquer us, and we were humbled and blessed through it.
I would get my first tattoo at the end of that week - The Fibonacci sequence symbolised in a rough hand drawing of a spiral shell on my right calve.
The tattoo would symbolise a dual meaning of the intricate planning that has gone into the creation of nature by God - and in the very same way, the intricate planning of the timing of our life experiences and events. Nature has been created to serve us, nurture us, humble us, and build us up. We only need to surrender to it and everything it brings. God has created it in this way unto a purpose, in the very same way he has created you unto a purpose. Don’t fight it, let it wash over you, break you down, heal you and feed you - and your life will become healing to the earth.
“For the creation eagerly awaits the revelation of the sons of God” - Romans 8:19.
