I Dare You To Pretend To Love Yourself For Just One Day

stellabelle (75) in suicide • 7 years ago (edited)

View this post on Hive: I Dare You To Pretend To Love Yourself For Just One Day

7 years ago by stellabelle (75)

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kwakumax (65) · 7 years ago

I believe having a goal in mind at all times ,keep many from thinking of ending their lives. It doesn't have to be something big , just something to keep your mind away from being idle will do.

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3 votes

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goodvibrations (58) · 7 years ago

I think that it is very important to love yourself and I'm sorry that so many have problems doing so. "Love your neighbor as yourself" but if you don't love yourself......how can you do a good job at loving anyone else!

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4 votes

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juliakponsford (70) · 7 years ago

Sometimes faking it is the best way to make it happen as corny as it sounds. I used to work in a restaurant for many years and I didn't enjoy it that much but having to plaster on a fake smile when I started, more often than not turned into a real one. Our minds are funny like that. All the best for 2018 ❤️

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2 votes

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greenrun (66) · 7 years ago

I think you have to love yourself first before attempting to love another person. Through thick and thin, the idea that I may hurt myself never surfaces. But I've seen many who did at the moment when they are low. The good thing is a little love is all that is needed to stop the suicide. But the world often appear uncaring. I wish I could save everyone who had just taken that proverbial last straw, but that is just wishful thinking. Thanks a lot.

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1 vote

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quinneaker (74) · 7 years ago

Been there, done that~
Half the people hate me more because its true, half the people revere me more because its true.

Yet I get to benefit by the priceless truth of love~*~

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4 votes

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turpsy (62) · 7 years ago

Sometimes, I dont know If I love myself or people, more. I chose a path of career that you need to be constantly thinking of how to edge in a competitive environment. I have to stay glued to finding new things and proving it. This has left me in many times to be more self-disciplined than I can imagine.

Do those exact things for yourself. It will feel silly, but just pretend you are the object of someone's love. It will change you, I swear.

However, sometimes, I think there is time, and maybe the time to do this is not yet full. But, I know someday, I would get things fixed in a proper way. Thank you for this self-love post. You are amazing, Happy New Year.

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1 vote

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peak.endrule (49) · 7 years ago

Meditation does wonders with self hate.And so many other “self” problems.if you can handle it...any kind of meditation will do. I am speaking from experience. 😉

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2 votes

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phillip20steem (50) · 7 years ago

Let me borrow the powerful lyrics of the song The greatest love of all by the late Whitney Houston. "Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" I am fortunate to work and see suicidal people on case to case basis. People who had significant history of depression, abuse and trauma in their lives. Some of them are with ongoing counselling, on medication and others are first timers. They are self cutters and suicidal.Don't want to live anymore. And you asked how are they going to kill themselves and some of them will tell you taking multiple type of drugs. Some of the drugs are prescribed for their depression, bipolar and mania.It is so sad that through the years we cannot put a stop or maybe decrease the volume of people taking suicide. It is a serious matter. Through decades, we made wonderful advancement finding a cure to some illness but the emotional and psychological aspect of what making us human comes second or not at all. On the other hand, there's a lot of factors that we have to consider why an individual would want to commit suicide. And one factor begins within one self, our perspective on how we view and treat ourselves.Other factors such as bad experiences,different type of abuse childhood and adult,standard of society, poverty,not having an intact good support system, social media, etc... It is a vast topic to discuss. Anyway, @stellabelle stay strong, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel! May you have a wonderful new year full of possibilities and healthy self esteem.

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1 vote

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celestialme (46) · 7 years ago

i hate my self for everything it limits me for!!

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1 vote

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sagor5828 (58) · 7 years ago

Suicides do not solve everything. To change anything, you have to change yourself.

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1 vote

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safetony (47) · 7 years ago

Change must come from within! Your not just harming yourself love is the only way

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sharminkona (55) · 7 years ago

great post my friend...thanks for sharing this post...

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1 vote

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lorilikes (53) · 7 years ago

Relax, you can go back to hating yourself the next day. Let your mind realize that you're only pretending to love yourself. In fact, you don't even have to like yourself in order to do this. You can pretend, give yourself that out. This is how I did it.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Miss @stellabelle your words are echoing in my head. Your suggestion here is worth a million bucks. It really is.

I thank you 🙏 for the courageous truth you have offered to us, your audience. I am so floored by the real you. It is a blessing to see you, as you are.
You are undoubtedly a woman of such impact that the magnitude of your words most certainly can save lives. You probably are saving lives with this one post.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I am sorry you had to experience the wrath of a suicidal caretaker - I can think of almost nothing worse than trying to learn how to be a human under that type of care. I am glad you have confessed your destructive past, especially I am thankful you survived your own worst years. The best is truly yet to come. When can I do an interview with you for publication? I need to write you up into a story. It is a must. ❤️

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1 vote

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enjar (69) · 7 years ago

I hope your friend is getting some needed help. I forget the name of the person/group here that try’s and help people. Perhaps another person recalls.

I use to have a cat that countered any self-hate I had for myself very well. Would never leave me alone always purring and drooling all over my arms!

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eggstraordinair (52) · 7 years ago

One though challenge, but it does resonate with my current mind state, have you read Kamal Ravikant's book?

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stellabelle (75) · 7 years ago

Yes, I also listened to it on audiobook several times. It had an effect on me.

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stellabelle (75) · 7 years ago

Have you read it, and did you try this experiment?

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eggstraordinair (52) · 7 years ago

i have read it, tried the mantra thing but i stopped, i think i need a little loving myself, thanks for bringing it up

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thelastheretik (31) · 7 years ago

Love is not the solution. People glorify love as if it's the highest cure-all for humanity's ill. It's not. People set it as a high standard, the purpose of life's existence. It's not.
What people need is a sense of purpose. Not love. If you don't have a purpose and a mission in life you'll live an empty life. What people need is a meaningful struggle that they work to surmount and tell that as a story of victory not that one of victimhood and sadness. Love is for those who dare not to create meaning and purpose. Love is an addiction like most feelings.

People hate themselves because they can't see the good in their life because they don't create anything meaningful in life. It's all about me, love me, love myself. My feelings, I feel... It makes me gag.

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ghulammujtaba (59) · 7 years ago (edited)

There is a person inside me whom I love and take care of him as much as I can. This person have so many responsibilities on his shoulders, he takes care of his parents, earn for them and haven't get married yet just because he isn't financial stable yet at the age of 30. He works hard to achieve what he had dreamed in his past. I, at 2:00 AM, after work, talk to him daily and ask him to relax now, everything would be fine one day. Though you have to work hard a few years more but after that, you will be successful and find peace inside of you. He always smiles (sarcastically) at me and then goes to bed!

As his body fell to the sidewalk, his head was split open and he suffered brain damage.

Don't have the power to even imagine this, may he get well soon!

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stellabelle (75) · 7 years ago

Good answer. I still wonder why i can never relax. Oh yeah, I have many responsibilities, to my parents and my child, and I opted for a life where I do it all myself......

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1 vote

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ghulammujtaba (59) · 7 years ago

We all are caught up in some difficult but different situations, have to handle them with a mindset of "not to give up!" All will be well!

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stellabelle (75) · 7 years ago

yeah, and what I see as the most valuable thing here on Steemit (besides the economic incentive), is finding people who understand these complications and struggles. It seems that other social media is not able to bind us together. For this, I believe we can find those who resonate with us, and form tribes of different kinds, like mutual aid socieities.

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ghulammujtaba (59) · 7 years ago

It seems that other social media is not able to bind us together.

They are fancy, Stella. I have always been deceived by some nice happy pictures of my friend and found the reality in the opposite direction.

For this, I believe we can find those who resonate with us, and form tribes of different kinds, like mutual aid socieities.

Exactly, just like the Gift Economy you explained in one of your previous posts.

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mawit07 (66) · 7 years ago

We all have one life to live. Why not be happy with it then to be pessimistic. The real world already gives us the shortfalls and unfairness of life. Why give in to all those haters and misfortunes? Live life worth remembering.

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kartiksingh (65) · 7 years ago

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aliakbar2 (54) · 7 years ago

I like my self to some extent but when I do any kind of mistake i feel ashamed and I dislike myself

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klevn (47) · 7 years ago

You reminded me of Eckhart Tolle... when you talk about hating yourself .. I can't find the quote on the internet, but found this that is close enough ;)

Unity Magazine: You wrote that a crystallizing thought preceded it: “I can’t live with myself any longer.” Tell us about that.

Tolle: Yes. It’s interesting that stepping out of thought was actually triggered by a thought. At that moment, consciousness looked at the thought “I can’t live with myself,” and I realized there are two here—“I” and the “self I can’t live with.” And then there was another little thought: Who is this self that I can’t live with? But there was no answer; that was the last question. And then it didn’t matter. This peace had changed my perception of the world of form too, of the external world. When I woke up the next morning, everything was beautiful and intensively alive and peaceful.

Without perceiving things through the old filter of past conditioning and conceptualization, one can sense the universe is intensely alive. Even so-called inanimate objects – I often pick up little objects and just look at them and sense that they are alive. Physicists actually confirm that what we perceive as dead matter is not dead at all. Everything is an intensely alive energy field. That aliveness is only an aspect of the aliveness or life that I am.

source

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newordersolution (25) · 7 years ago

Hi Stella
What an awesome post, I will heed your advice and be sure to pass it on to all those in need as I believe that this has truly come from a good place. All the best on your journey in becoming the best you! Thanks!

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connecteconomy (71) · 7 years ago

One day at a time. Great to turn this into sort of a game.
And maybe it helps to start with self-acceptance, if self-love seems like too big a step.

Happy new year my friend, and lots of LOVE to you 💜

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olawalium (74) · 7 years ago

Just two days ago i posted a love note to myself and i would really love if you would take time to read it. Thanks. I didn't want to bore you by saying too much but what i wrote there is exactly what you asked us to do right now.
https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@olawalium/re-introducing-myself-love-note-to-self

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fahq (38) · 7 years ago

Great post, upvoted and resteemed. More stuff like this is needed here :) Very motivating/inspirational. Thanks

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artizm (60) · 7 years ago

I wish there will always be good things in this new year. I am happy to go to this night.
and my friend doing things like that :)
the message you gave is very nice
Thank you

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nickibanjlady (47) · 7 years ago (edited)

@nickibanjlady is wishig you happy new year dear

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kubbyelizabeth (66) · 7 years ago

You gotta love yourself first so you can give to others. Like they say, be careful of the naked man that offers you his shirt.

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stellabelle (75) · 7 years ago

In most of the self-help books, they never explain how one goes from hating oneself to even liking oneself. This method was inspired by Kamal Ravikant, who went through this process, and began loving himself after a melt down, which nearly took his life.....the book is Love Yourself Like Your Life Depended On It.

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1 vote

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sunravelme (62) · 7 years ago

I'm going to have to check out this book! Even without money, if you're in survival mode, I think you can do things to love yourself. Give yourself a massage, or ask a friend or a family member for one. Learn to do something new, get out of the house and go for a walk...

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1 vote

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galberto (70) · 7 years ago

Every of us should loved ourself, and never try to
attempted suicide , but i know some epilepsial medicine that, could you try to suicide i don know what happend in their commponents, like fenitoina sodica, or fenobarbital, this only one that i know, this sick is hard and pluscoyld provoque you intent to get suicide, it is sound hard.
I had a person very nearly with this sad condition, and she told me some days she has think suicide but is not she, is her medicine efects.
What can we do in those cases
Well we try to loved ourself ok.
Best regard @galberto

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nexusvortex777 (50) · 7 years ago

Loving yourself helps create a better world for everyone you meet because you create a sort of ripple effect. Others see how you treat yourself and want the same, and these people will want to gravitate towards you because they find you enjoying your life, experiencing happiness and self fulfillment, achieving your goals and are genuinely living your life with joy, gratitude and a heightened sense of awareness.

I think it's easy to love yourself when you realize how important it is for you to function fully as an individual. Just as a car needs the right fuel, needs maintenance and care, so do our physical bodies. You can also take into consideration, leading a spiritual life that is more aligned with what you want to project onto the world. If you give good energy to others, are vibrating at a higher level, you will receive the same from the universe from the experiences you have.

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1 vote

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paulaloomisart (35) · 7 years ago

So true. From the time that I started to care for myself first my life has been far happier and I have attracted far better people into it. I’ve made friends with more genuinely good people in the last year than I did in the previous 28 years of my life.

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koalafamily (52) · 7 years ago

Agreed...fake it untill you make it😘

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nationall (55) · 7 years ago

LIfe is a choice, love is life, family where life begins love never ends. Love every moment. Laugh every day. Live beyond word.

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neelamgahlyan (57) · 7 years ago

Its not about "not liking self" but sometimes life gets so hard that we dont see any way out of it. The mind gets numb. When you see everything falling apart inf ront of your eyes and it gets worse and worse day by day, that pain becomes unbearable.
Been there, sadly, done that. But I too survived. That was the first and last time I tried to do this sort foolish act. I took some hard decisions and changed my life. They werent easy but way better than dying.

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stellabelle (75) · 7 years ago

yeah, there are conditions which seem unbearable. Glad you did not take your life.

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jacobts (65) · 7 years ago

Wishing you a Happy Holidays and many 2018 Blessings!

Yes and Love. Yes and each day, Love. Yes and when you wake up, Love. Yes and, before you sleep, Love.

The prayer goes like this before I sleep: "I love myself. I am loved. I am loving..."

The prayer goes like this as I wake : "I am thankful for today. Thank you for today."

And each day, no whale vote no faze me.
Each day, no fellow improvisers join steemit no faze me.
Each day, family friends doubt, no faze me.
Each day, a trade goes against me no faze me.
Each day, gramma's needs grow, no faze me.
The cold no faze me.
The lack of numbers in the bank account no faze me.

Tis only the dark, Tis only the deepest night, and it is always darkest before the dawn. And when the dawn breaks, will you be ready? Those holding onto darkness will not know when to rise. I have been there and Lazarus like have learned to let it go.

Let it go. The most simple. The hardest lesson. Let it go.

Only the empty bowl can be filled. And for those who are wealthy and happy and healthy, rejoice. One less lost soul. One more to be happy for. One more reminder of the inevitable and limitless potential within us all.

Yes and Love.

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eastcoaststeem (45) · 7 years ago

Thanks for taking the time to post this. As someone who has PTSD, has engaged in self harm but never attempted suicide, been at the rock bottom many times, i can apprecaite this post's message a lot.
This post has been deemed resteem & upvote worthy by your friendly @eastcoaststeem ran by @chelsea88 (not a bot)

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uchefrancis (55) · 7 years ago

Self love is the first step to loving others. Happy new year der

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martinwinkler (49) · 7 years ago

Accepting and loving self-care in the sense of selfcompassion is more than just changing from self-hate and negative people to another party. It is a relatively long process of perceiving oneself differently and then evaluating oneself. Sometimes things from their own past (e. g. negative experiences, ADHD, fears) play a role, which are then involved like ghosts from the past. Especially successful people manage to compensate for this for a long time. But at some point, however, these lousy faggots come to the surface and comment their own behaviour so negatively.

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saumyabratadutt (34) · 7 years ago

You’re quite true. Loving yourself is one of the positive ways to get better in your daily life. During my childhood I had some problems and that resulted in hating myself, I could never love myself. Some of the days I would try to hurt myself. But that’s an old story now, now I love myself, this helped me to move forward in my life.
Thank you for sharing this post, really appreciate it!
Have a great day ahead 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
Happy New Year 🌠🌠🌠

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ashleykalila (61) · 7 years ago

Woah Stella,

first of all, big hug to you for being so damn open about something so hard to tell.
Takes a hell of a lot of person to do that.
And yes, I really really believe in doing this for yourself.
For my own life, one of the best ways to move into a loving perception of myself is to think I am my own best friend.
It does wonders!

Much love to you!

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artistchristian (52) · 7 years ago

Thanks for sharing. I think authenticity is the best thing we can offer to one another, even if what we're sharing isn't the highlight reel of our life - in fact, sharing the bloopers reel is far more helpful to most to show that I'm not the only one who feels like i'm going from bad take to bad take!
I got divorced about 6 years ago and that has completely changed my life and made me deal with a lot of things that you talk about, from the depression side of things. There's no easy answers, but I think that we can find help and comfort through each other.

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anupbose (54) · 7 years ago

Nice one.Stay with us Do not commit suicide 😋😋

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lifenbeauty (60) · 7 years ago

Horrific personal experiences, thanks for sharing.

Your idea about one-day self-love trial seems great, I'll try it out. I think I'll start with a 30 minutes hot foamy bath, but I don't know how will I cuddle with myself. :/

I've also just expressed my thoughts about depression and self-acceptance in Why should we become a three-legged dog?, there are some advice inside that might be useful for you.

I've followed you, cheers!

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girlbeforemirror (66) · 7 years ago (edited)

Hello
I am taking baby steps towards being a transparent contributor on steemit, and harnessing my super power. I wrote a response yesterday to your superpower post.
I couldn't resist the Willy Wonka references.
It is a little more substantial than my slothicorn sketch, which I never did complete and enter properly.
This post too, resonates very much, I hope I will in time be able to share more of my perspectives on the important issues you have raised.
I mention in my response to your post my belief that mental health is not a disease separate from our shared vulnerability. A vulnerability that is part of being human.
People are often referred to as mentally ill. If we are physically sick, we just say sick. There is still such a label applied that differentiates the sane and the not sane. We are all human and therefore all potentially susceptible to the pitfalls of the human condition.
I started steemit 19 moons ago. You hit my first post with encouraging words.
Thanks, Steemit has proved to be the very thing I needed.
https://steemit.com/life/@girlbeforemirror/we-are-the-music-makers-and-we-are-the-dreamers-of-dreams

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joshuaattat (53) · 7 years ago

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all" - Whitney Houston
Loving yourself first is key.

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royalheir (47) · 7 years ago

I think the best teacher you can have is yourself. You can decide to love yourself and you can decide to hate yourself, it is all about our mind set, sometimes we need to get out of our shell to really know who we are but often times we are so afraid to do that. I have made up my mind to be happy at all time. The Bible says " guide the loins of your heart diligently for out of it comes the issue of life" , nothing good can come from an unhappy heart. Nice post

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nikonmarshall (54) · 7 years ago

Thanks for the advice @stellabelle, there are always tough moments in life that we need to push through - unfortunately with the way society is these days it is even harder to obtain the happiness we desire. I have always believed that the first step to becoming happier is to look within and to determine the issue that is causing thoughts that are making everything more difficult. The next step is to talk about them with absolutely anyone to get it off of your own mind constantly.

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annhoyblog (55) · 7 years ago

I think that's awesome advice to treat yourself like someone you want to help, because it detaches you from your conditioning of the past, and gives you a new lens to focus yourself in. Pretending and practicing yourself into loving yourself is an excellent way to make a new pattern!

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kaykunoichi (62) · 7 years ago

Woah! I had to leave this post for a little bit but needed to come back I was a little lost for words. I don't even really know where to start, that is a lot to go through. It's crazy the effect things can have on us. For me I have battled with the suicide thing, but I do love myself. I really love life & wish I could live forever. So why do we get these urges & thoughts at times? Hmm it's something I ponder quite a bit.

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inquiringtimes (64) · 7 years ago

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dreamdiary (49) · 7 years ago

I love this challenge, and your post in general :) love, love, love. Congrats :) I am going to challenge myself :)

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faissalchahid (1) · 7 years ago

😘😚😘😚😘😚
🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸
Happy New Year

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emmakwisequote (48) · 7 years ago

@stellabelle,this a powerful advice... I will implement the lesson too. I realise iu don't love myself enough! I still bring some past hurt to affect the present. Thanks for your work,it will go a long way in reshaping me!

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paulaloomisart (35) · 7 years ago

Just want to say I appreciate this post a lot. I’ve had a lot of struggles myself but I’ve found that what you’ve said is true. Even if it feels like bs, being kind to yourself and repeating positive things to/about yourself really helps in the long term. After almost 30 years, I just went the first full year of my life where I can say I wasn’t depressed. I fought with it at times, but I know my bad habits and good habits well enough now that I’ve been able to push back. Life’s a struggle but we have to love ourselves through it.

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