Super Soldier Failure

in supersoldier •  8 years ago 

Awareness, it is a beautiful maddening thing that can be very dangerous..

  I feel that my mind is ever expanding and the images I see when I close my eyes are as fluid as this reality. This is nothing new to me.

I no longer reach a state of quiet silence while in a sleep state. Instead, I lucid dream having reached and activated all chakras and senses accompanied with abilities not afforded in this mostly disconnected plane.

I've had plenty of time to hone my skills on that side after reliving many years of the same dream loops. I recall every dream to the tiniest details then open my eyes and record this reality as well. It's like I've been programmed all over again and I am always aware. It is exhausting and much like living in the Twilight zone.

This does not help my chronic migraines..

Those are very dark places over there where I reside while in deep meditation. It's filled with endless war including gore and violence and it worries me for the future here because since I can remember, in that world things happen then over here mirrors that. Duality is really a thing, as is synchronicity.

I dream of places and events that happen along the manipulated Hegelian Dialectic. I also remote view, and can feel the different pitches of frequencies from inanimate objects and people.* This has saved my life, so I consider it a 7th sense.

Our minds once connected can move physical things here or could that be a chip I've had since birth? I feel that is dark energy because telekinesis has happened when I have really negative heavy thoughts so I try to remain positive and manifest goodness because it's all about vibration here and over there. Some frequencies are harmful while others can heal the cells. Balance is key to maintaining harmony from within.

Before the net, this was a dismal and lonely place since most of my family was gone early and I learned to fend for myself while remaining in a perpetual state of absolute bewilderment as to what this reality was all about and why I felt and saw things differently and what in the hell those demonic creatures were..

Now that I have been able to research on the net, I know that I am not alone and have a really awful realization that I was born into a black project. My lineage had already been documented within the library of gov science journals for ESP. There are plenty more like me, I know now..

Some just either went crazy, are dead, or are staying quiet because of gas lighting, watchers, or fear of alienation from the majority of the population.

The worse part all of this is the abuse I've endured from the techniques used to torment me and I am still not sure how to really come to terms with that, yet..

After my brother was sent away, they came for me when I was only 9 and still very much a little girl!

They attacked me often and the ways were demonic with humans/hybrids gas lighting.

The first time was they came for me, they opened a portal in the mirror and a demon spoke a prophesy after addressing me by my full name. Whatever he said or did in that time broke a seal in my head because that night forward my lucid dreams showed me in war and the animal/human hybrids, burning cities, the ocean switches places with the sky, so much more that has already occurred here, now. Those demons in these past 5 years nightly show me the armies and machines they are manifesting to be mirrored in this reality.

Next, the watchers came for me after I was marked. I realize early on that they were sent and that they couldn't speak like the demon in the mirror had done. I no longer had happy dreams and I tried to pray about it and they came for me worse.

Then the men in ties showed up intermittently and the gas lighting started early. I know they are aware of them too and that they know I know since I can remember.

My anxiety is on high saying so much.

I'm going to keep going for now, it's kind of a relief..

When the seal was broken in my head, my concept of numbers was altered. I see them as a language now and see the connection of everything here.. Numbers are so powerful.. If people only knew how they are used against them here..

I can tell you some stories about those Watchers, inter dimensional creatures.. Never the same one twice except the ones that cross from dreams into rl people here. Those are the ones that can hurt you. Those are named ones. The ones that manifest, I've been thrown around and pinned against my bedroom wall one night. That was the most hurtful one, had bulbs burst, the bed shaking, and other featureless creatures have simply perched themselves on an unseen ledge in the corner of the room scratching the plaster with their claws.. They expect to feel our fear or else they become enraged. They are not alien to this world because elements in ties controlling politicians are aware of them, too. I feel that by now, they may be one in the same..

It was arranged so that I ended up watching my 18 year old brother die. I was 15. They told me he would pull through.. False hope because when I returned they said there was nothing that could be done. They took out part of his brain. Maybe there was a chip in it. It really was a gruesome way to die.

I am beginning to question everything, now. Once you've seen what I have, there is no other way anymore because their abilities cannot be explained with our "current" technology. They have the ancient hidden tech that creates the portals where those creatures can come through. Everything is vibration here and there, including numbers. They are spells everywhere, the ley lines and architecture are designed to accumulate certain frequencies.. I can feel the difference when going to different places.

So two years after my brother's sudden departure, my father was next to die when I was 17. He had some rare form of aggressive cancer. He had been a marine in his younger years..

Since then, I've been kidnapped, held hostage, abducted, abused, assaulted, experimented on, and have had people attempt to take my life on numerous occasions. Not all police can be trusted because there are fraternal orders that belong to the other society.

I realize after re-reading this several times, I am all over the place with this article and some of it may be hard to follow but to be fair, it is late, I've had a migraine since yesterday, and really am nervous about making this public. My heart won't stop pounding. Maybe I am doing the wrong thing here.

It really hasn't been easy for me but I realize my purpose is to make change happen for the good and to save lives while I am here and that involves risk when openly opposed to such malevolent forces.

I'm am trying to distance myself emotionally from these words and prepare for people to be harsh and critical while I am pouring my heart out basically risking myself more for coming out like this.

For those who have gone through similar paths I know you are aware that the danger is very real.. Hopefully this will give you some hope, so that is why I am here explaining what I've had to deal with.

It has been a long road. But it's not over yet.

Before my brother's sudden mysterious death, he made sure that I was aware of the right path to knowledge and that has really come full circle since I am in contact with some of those individuals that wrote those books. It's funny how that works in this life.. Right people at the right time.. He gave me books that asked the questions and discussed real world events and why it was happening.. He was brilliant, literally.

His loss overwhelms me to this day..

I don't have that brilliant spark at all. Maybe that is why they took him out so quickly. He was super gifted. He was the one that shined, not me. They probably figured I'd burn myself out soon enough and for many years I have struggled with depressions and thoughts of self extermination. I try to be more positive nowadays.

The gov tried to get my older brother early while he was just beginning school to give him a "free" education due to his high intellect but my mom wouldn't let him go. More on that later if people really want to dig further..

They got to him anyways but in the worse way and it traumatized me but luckily my esp alerted me hours before whatever they did to him and we were able to say goodbye. Maybe that was the actual test..

After his funeral I would receive calls telling me that something happened to my brother but they couldn't tell me.. This has given me years of distress contemplating his last wakeful hours. I have my theories..

Because of these events shaping my life, I became a soldier at 20 years old serving months before 911, one tour of Iraq, 7 years service.. Yes I am aware it was an inside job. Before we were sent downrange, the base had already created a prison program and facility for troubled soldiers.. Should I tell more?

I flew to ground zero while the last wall had remained while the missing posters and candle vigils were still along the fencing.. Did you know that vehicles from nearby parking areas were dustified and the steel was twisted and warped? They discarded those remains before they could be collected properly. But there is still proof.

Looking back, maybe that was their plan for me all along, maybe I was a failed super soldier project or possibly haven't been activated yet? There is another war coming..

Bits of memory are coming back to me and they make me sick sometimes. It's like I've been asleep for a long time in parts of my head that I should have memories for. I hate that I was touched and that they had the ability and audacity to experiment and abuse me and other children for our whole lives. There is nothing I wouldn't put past them.

It is a separate society comprised of the entities working with people and controlled people with those things inside of them. They are already able to track our dream states and have opened portals for a long time.

I was right about to connect with a friend of a friend recently, his name was Max Spiers but unfortunately I was 3 days too late. He suddenly mysteriously passed away while visiting friends. Tough break but at least I am aware of the programs, now. His videos really hit home with me, especially projects oaktree and mannequin.
More on that, later..

It's the good deeds that get you favored in preparation for your return, not accumulated wealth!

As a civilian, I wasn't sworn back in after being involuntarily retained for "medical purposes." Instead they sent me downrange after having been medboarded and cleared post still recovering from my pelvic reconstruction and I part of my collarbone sawed off. I also lost my daughter because of the damage they did to me internally and they sterilized me while I was still in my 20's. I've been prescribed so many shots and pills to keep me up and doing my job that I'm pretty sure the accumulation of all of that gave me the tumors they cut from around my spine at the base of my neck while in still in my 20's, too.

My final rating did not qualify me for medical retirement and I was denied ptsd being rated on a scale where I didn't even rate high enough to get past 9%, so basically that is 0%

As a single mom, I struggle to pay for my children's medical bills. Often my ptsd is so bad, I never leave the same spot for an entire day, just shut myself down. Most days I feel like I should hide and never show my face again, like this is a bad dream too.

I suppose all the value I have left is my truth, so that's what you have from me to this world, now.

I could tell you horror stories about these military hospital facilities and what I've seen through the years, like about how civilians with records such as malpractice, wrongful death suits.. are hired as DOD and placed them in charge of the care of soldiers and their families..

The struggle is real when you go public like I started to once before a few years ago but not this deep, just against Agenda 21. I have no idea if this will be buried or hit nerves enough to cause me to be concerned for my safety once more.

I know that from experience because once marked, they can track us everywhere now. They've disconnected my net before when I was broadcasting, I've gotten visits from police, found myself randomly audited..

At this level of awareness that I am now, I see resolutions as clear as I do the issues. If there are more of you like me, let's not be strangers. There is strength in numbers.

I guess this is cheap therapy for this depressed sleep deprived veteran that truly cares about liberty and our right to live free without the fuckery..

Thanks for reading my story. If you care enough to comment then I will take the time to answer your inquiries to the best of my ability. If I don't know something, then sorry. I don't know why or how the portals are created but I know they exist due to experience. I do not know who is behind everything, I just have my own theories taken from personal experience.

<3 Ponyxpress

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