We live in a life where we can make choices. Not every creation that exists in the mundane world is capable of making a choice. Let’s take a tree for an example. A fire sparks out of the blue and the whole forest burn. The tree can’t make a choice to move but what it could only do was to embrace it. However, if it is alive until the end, its bark will grow thicker to withstand the next fire.
Animals on the other hand only have one choice to make. They have to listen to their natural instinct to keep them alive. That’s their only choice. They are not capable to think like a human because the human brain is much more complex. Their natural instinct is only what keeps them alive.
So, Calvin, you as a human can make a choice. Every choice you make will eventually lead you to something. Every choice you make have risk in it. I know sometimes you tend to go for higher risk because you know higher risk is much more fun and you always seek improvement and a room to fail cuz you always tell yourself, is ok to fail now then later because the more you fail when you are younger, the more experience you have when you are older.
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I know sometimes you wish to change the things around you but you have to know, not everything will go the way you plan. You have to know that you can’t force things into place because if you do, the base will not be able to withstand a turbulance when it comes.
I know you try to let others see what you see but you have trouble letting out what you feel on the inside and that makes it hard for people to understand what is your motive or intention. Bottling up your feelings and thoughts is not healthy. It is drowning you slowly to your death. How long before you drown? I know you still haven’t find someone who breaks your barrier and understand you inside out. I know how much you miss that one person who gave you everything and it ended one day.
I know how much you dream to have a complete life but the fact, when will you learn to appreciate the things around you? Love is all about appreciation. Appreciate all the little things people have done for you in helping you to where you are today. Is OK, if you don’t get what you want but appreciate what you have. I know how much you love her but you can never be the person you dream to be for her if you think of Russia. Russia is the past and concentrates on the present.
I know you try your very best. I know you think a lot but for once, can you just suit up and become Oppa? If tomorrow is your last day on earth, do you want to regret not making up what you have always wanted to ask her (present)?
So, Calvin, you deserve better if you are willing to walk up to become the man you dream off. That person you dream off is just one step away from you.The only way to become him is to reduce your overthinking and TAKE ACTION!