You live and you experience ..
When your fourteen you imagine how your high school years will turn out to be, or your first prom and how popular you are going to be, or even having your first boyfriend. Getting yourself, all caught up in the moment for all these experiences you haven’t got to see but imagine it like a story book in your head. Well that’s what I thought about in middle school. If you were one of those girls that thought you were always in a fairy tale book your setup in your head to imagine, then I’m sure you think you thought you were going to be with your first boyfriend forever you love him or not, or even just think you love him because you’re in love with the idea of being in love not caring who it is. Not really understanding what love really is outside family, and friends at fourteen who knows what love really is? I mean do most people in their 20’s understand the concept of love yet? Seriously thinking back now about it and just thinking love and this and that are all a fairy tale I want to just laugh at myself. People make their own love stories how it happens and not from beauty and the beast or even cinderella .
He was four years older than me when I was 14 for starters. The relationship started on Facebook .. I know now looking back on it that it right there should’ve never made it offline, but shit happens all the time. We later met and evidently started dating telling everyone he was only two years older than me. Thinking that was going to last but didn’t one bit! See now the reason it didn’t was I come from a very big nosy family and although they met well I was stubborn and thought no one wanted me to be happy so I continue to date this guy. My brother got a private investigator and found out his true age and everything about this kid and it didn’t help everyone in town knew him because his cousin did music, that’s beside the point he was much older and I admit I should’ve listened and opened my eyes and not been so mind fucked. Him being so older id fear him and do everything and anything he wanted. he wanted money I gave it to him he wanted rides id to beg my mother to get him. why? Because if I didn’t he’d say mean hurtful things and threaten me where it got to me and I’d literally be at his beck and call after years and feel horrible about myself and think all guys are like that.
2 years now and I feel like I want to die or go away and turn all my social media. It even got as mad as me asking my mother to send me to my brothers up north because I couldn’t take it any longer. I Thought I’ll never find love again because this kid has me so tied up with him that I don’t understand how to get out of this mess I made myself. this guy has me so emotionally scared that I feel like I have to lie to everyone I love saying I love him and this and that but really, I don’t love him and I don’t like him but I’ve tried multiple times getting away even months after dating him telling me I can’t end things or else. I was very naive and self-conscious that I felt like no one better then him would ever want me so why try? Why? There’s no point id think I just wanted him gone! That wasn’t love that was all about being fourteen and wanting a relationship while finding the wrong guy who was 18 that wanted to have control over a young girl he could use and manipulate. Come summertime I met this boy online also but ended up building a trust with scared to death to tell him anything because of course I like him. Well I told my sister about it and she didn’t know the whole story with the 18-year-old she didn’t like him because we grew apart and me and her use to do everything together. One night I came to my senses after two long years and a few months and told him everything, I mean everything I never trusted no one in the world like I felt like I could this boy and him promising me he wouldn’t say a word I’m glad he did now! There was quite a few bumps in the road with getting him ought’ve my life like therapy, restraining order, and going to court but everything turned out just the way it was supposed to for the best… here I am four years later writing about a experience I feel no fourteen year-old should go through or any age for that matter. If you’re in a situation and have a gut feeling about it get out before it’s to late and gets out of hand.