10 Things I Wish I Knew - tessaragabrielle

Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

Based on @lymepoet’s post, which you can check out here. The idea is to write down ten things you would tell your younger self if you could send a letter back in time. Mine is maybe a lot more intensely personal than the original, but this is mine, so that’s okay.

The Rules:

• Write down ten things that you wish you knew earlier in life
• Use the #tenthingschallenge tag, so that everyone can see the posts and check them all out
• Tag 5 people to participate in the challenge

10 Things I Wish I Knew

1. You are worthy of love, just as you are: don’t change to make people like you, because they won’t ever be satisfied. The most important people in your life will like the real you, if you give them the chance.
2. It is okay to say no when someone wants something you don’t want to give them, whether that’s your body, ideas, or time. If anyone doesn’t respect that, run away from them—they’re dangerous and toxic.
3. You are introverted, which is fine, but it means that you need more time by yourself. Don’t feel ashamed of needing a lot of time to rest and recharge—your creative spirit makes beautiful things out of it!
4. Speaking of, you have a wide variety of talents and interests, and here’s a secret: you don’t have to pick just one for the rest of your life. You’re a multipotentialite, and you thrive in a freer environment, so embrace that.
5. You are a really tender person, and that’s beautiful. Crying doesn’t make you weak or silly, and I know you don’t like doing it, but sometimes you need to just let it happen. Let the emotions come and wash through you, to clear out the stress and negativity that you’ve been unconsciously taking in. Let your system reset.
6. Your community will be there to catch you when you fall. Life will be hard sometimes, but as long as you build authentic, caring community, you will have the strength to get through anything.
7. Not every critique is a personal attack. Some people offer constructive criticism because they like you and want to help you be better. Yes, some of your critics are bullies and jerks, but some of them mean well. Sit with their words, and if they are not mean-spirited they may offer an opportunity to improve.
8. On the flip side, some people really are just bullies and jerks. You don’t have to engage with them. You don’t have to give them anything at all, not time or attention, and their rudeness and selfishness says nothing about who you are as a person.
9. You are intelligent and you have good ideas—believe in them enough to voice them. You might be surprised at the positive responses, and when you get negative responses, just remember that criticism of your ideas doesn’t reflect on your worth as a human being. See #7.
10. Never be afraid to ask questions. If you don’t understand something when someone is in front of you, you won’t understand it later when you’re trying to figure it out without them. And there might be someone else who had the same question and was too afraid to ask. I promise that no one worth caring about will think you are stupid or incompetent just because you asked for clarification. So ask.

I don’t actually like tagging people, because I feel uncomfortably obligated to participate when I’m tagged, and I don’t like the idea of making other people feel like that. That is maybe part of the point, and I’m still not going to do it. But if you’re inspired, definitely join the challenge!

(I added the tag #challengerebel on this post, because I’m breaking the rules. I’m a rule-breaker! No, not really, but in this case, yes.)

Divider created by @javehimself, and used with thanks.