I have the kind of job that enables me to watch/listen to Netflix while I work. It helps keep my mind from wandering. I mostly binge watch Once Upon a Time and compare notes with my sister and a friend of mine from Texas. I was needing a break from that on Friday and stumbled upon a show called 13 Reasons Why.
I read the description which says that a teenager commits suicide and leaves a series of tapes behind for her friend. I guess morbid curiosity lead me to click play. Despite my deepening sadness due to PMS combined with the depressing premise of the show, I couldn't stop watching. I even played it on my way home so I could at least listen to it over my Bluetooth stereo in my car.
The tapes the gal leaves behind each have an explanation of someone whose behavior toward her lead to commit suicide. Each episode covers one story, told on one side of a tape. Much of it is your typical teenage experience such as your two BFFs start dating each other behind your back, stupid boys make and create a "hot or not" type of list and slut shame half the girls in the class and shame the other half for being prudes...OK that part isn't exactly how it goes down in the show, but it's the general idea.
As the series progresses, the main character's former friends she left behind become more and more conspiratorial in an effort to cover up something, but we the audience don't know what yet. Did they bully her? Certainly a case could be made for that. Did they CAUSE her death? I'm no lawyer, but I'm pretty sure they could not be convicted for murder based on that.
Later and later toward the end of the series, I can start to see why Hannah, the narrator and main character, makes the decision to terminate her life. On the other hand, many people have been through what Hannah has and so much worse and survived. My main concern is the example it sets for today's youth.
I have since Googled it and learned that the show is based on a very popular Young Adult novel, which scares the bajeebies out of me. I am afraid more than one kid will think it is a great idea to leave a trail of guilt for others upon their self inflicted departure from this world.
I still have one or two more episodes left to watch in the series. I feel attached to the characters, which to me is a sign of superb writing. I am deeply sad. Yes, part of that is due to the turmoil my hormones are currently in. But it's also because I have a daughter of my own. She's growing up so fast I can hardly keep up. She will be a sophomore in high school like Hannah before I know it. What if she internalizes common teenage selfishness and disregard for others the way Hannah does? What if SHE unwittingly bullies someone else into feeling so horrible they feel the only solution is suicide? My head "what-ifs" itself into a frenzy and I can hardly breathe.
My recommendation is to proceed with caution on this one. DON'T watch it under the influence of PMS! I think it is smart for adults, especially those with youth in their lives, to be familiar with. I think it is wise to discuss it with teens who are near and dear to us. By discuss, I mean just that. Talk, ask questions, and LISTEN to what they have to say. Find out what's going on in their lives and discover if there's anyone in their circle of friends who relate to the characters in the 13 storyline.
Hopefully the next show Netflix recommends will be a little perkier!