"It is all in your imagination."
Perhaps this is true, yet it doesn't stop the physical reaction to the imagination and a child who believes there is a monster under the bed will still manifest fear, sweating palms and a faster heart rate, regardless of the reality. Adults are no different are they?
What do you fear? Death, or loss of life? We protect what we know and avoid what we do not as in uncertainty there are no guarantees. And while the future is uncertain and every decision sets off a chain reaction of unintended consequences, does this mean we should stay the same, live in fear of what we believe is there hiding in the darkness?
Every company I train at is going through some form of change and no matter what the goals are or what the changes are, people fear losing what they currently have, even if they are in a position of random privilege. At one company where the office layout is changing to become a nicer place to work, one person is throwing a tantrum because they will likely lose their window seat that they never chose, it was assigned. That seat is not theirs.
Loss is something we all fear. I fear losing my daughter, should I lock her in a cage to keep her safe, or should I do my best to prepare her for the world? A world that is not rainbows and sparkles, filled with people that didn't get enough hugs as children, and worse. Should I shelter her from my fears so she cannot live a life of her own? Should I fill her with fear of the world so she chooses not to live?
I think what often happens is that when faced with uncertainty, when faced with what we do not understand, what we believe is going to cost us, we project our fears of loss onto others as if all hold the same concerns in the hope that we can drum up the support to protect our position. We try to keep our window seat at the cost of others.
We are all self-centered and therefore focus on what affects us, but the monsters I imagine under the bed are not the monsters you imagine and while I might sit and cower under the covers, you may choose to face your fears, look the beast in the eye. Or, vice versa. I wonder how many people have faced their fears and regretted the experience - and how many have chosen not to and regretted the experience. Change can bring unforeseen problems. It can also bring unforeseen solutions.
I am not risk-taking. I am not brave. I am not fearless.
But under the right conditions...
What conditions do you need to be the best version of yourself?
Is it cowering under the covers in fear of the monsters under the bed?
Taraz
[ a Steem original ]
Dear @tarazkp
Absolutely great read and interesting choice of subject. Love it.
Topic of fear has been always very close to my heart. As a passionate western boxing coach I need to deal with fear quite often (pretty much whenever my students join any serious competitions).
To understand where fear is coming from and to accept that emotion and overcome - it's a real challenge for many.
I love how you described it :)
Within my lifetime I faces number of fears, especially once being younger and travelling across the world and sometimes visiting awful and uneasy places (like Palestine).
Overcoming fear of moving around almost cost me life and I also witnessed someone being stabbed almost right in front of my eyes. Till today I regret experiencing that place. I wish I would just stay home, being to worried to visit that country.
ps. If you dont mind, I will share this post with some other people I know and engage with. I found it really worth reading :)
Yours
Piotr
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Fear in my opinion, is an inherent condition of the human being, we all fear the intruder, the unknown and change, the important thing is to learn to handle our fears.
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Less words. More substance! A FEARtastic comment by all standards!
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Thanks!
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I believe it is good to see a little of the violence that plagues this world currently as perhaps afterward, one is willing to do something to end the suffering.
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Wow..... What a beautiful piece of thought @tarazkp! Really a different angle.... to settle down all the differences.
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Dear @tarazkp
I just realized that I never actually thanked you for your reply. I really appreciate that you're so very responsive.
I also wanted to make some suggestion.
My impression is, that the hardest part of attracting attention on STEEMIT is the fact, that our audience have very little chance to actually find our publications. Lack of solid notification system is an obvious issue. And regardless how hard I would try - there is very little chance I would find out about your new interesting publications (my feed is just flooded with to many posts).
Please allow me to share some suggestion with you. If you would ever publish content related to blockchain, crypto, artificial intelligence, psychology etc.
then perhaps you could simply send me memo with link to that post.This way not only I would have a chance to read your publication, but I will also
upvote it right away with 20k SP voting power. If I would consider it interesting then I may also share it with wider audience.Please let me know what do you think.
Cheers, Piotr
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Hi @crypto.piotr,
As usual, a mind blowing comment from you.
Thanks for the memo and also for sending me the link of this v.v.very interesting publication.
"....... deal with fear quite often (pretty much whenever my students join any serious competitions)"
This fear arises as a result of your concern towards the well being of those students whom you consider so close to your heart!
".... sometimes visiting awful and uneasy places (like Palestine)."
Oh yes! the unrest over there will definitely make us uneasy. No doubt about it.
"...... someone being stabbed almost right in front of my eyes.... "
Oh, my God! How cruel has this humanity become into? This is atrocious. How on the earth can they think of taking a life by stabbing so brutally? Oh my dear soul, please rest in peace.
"Till today I regret experiencing that place. I wish I would just stay home, being to worried to visit that country."
Such is the extent of the scar it created deep in your humanitarian heart was unable to digest it. And I would say this as a 'regrettable experience'.
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Thanks for the note re this post. It's very interesting and though-provoking.
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Wait, you mean there really aren’t monsters under the bed? I wasted all of those running starts off my bed as a kid?
I don’t know why it is, but many/most people live with a change is bad worldview. Is it tied to our evolution? If the weather changes, the crops could fail.
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People remember negatives more easily than positives so perhaps build their habits around them.
I used to do that mad dash too. Also, if you pull the covers over the back of your head, the monsters can't see you.
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Except for gamblers, who remember the wins but find reasons to forget the losses. 😅
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Remembering it and admitting it might be different.
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I believe they still exist, but now they have found new hiding places!!! Good luck finding / avoiding them. ☺
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The monsters under the bed is a very interesting title. Children and adults have their own monsters, but how you say, in a very intelligent affirmation:
We are all self-centered and therefore focus on what affects us, but the monsters I imagine under the bed are not the monsters you imagine and while I might sit and cower under the covers, you may choose to face your fears, look the beast in the eye.
I'm happy to read your post. I'm following you from now, @tarazkp.
I got your post from @crypto.piotr recomendation,
Thanks both of you.
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I have always been of the thought that we will never know potential unless we try. I have failed at many things but each has allowed me to learn and adapt even when fear of loss was present. It has made me more resilient and I believe a big part what I would call success (based on my own goals).
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Hello Pior, very good article.
Personally, I am not afraid of changes, sometimes they are necessary to eliminate a crushing routine.
But, I think that every person has a fear of the greatest enemy we have, death.
Honestly, death is not what scares me but the suffering of death, which is even greater than the unknown.
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Pior?
The biggest fear people have of death is the unimaginable eternity of nothing.
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Well said @equipodelta.... that too the moment before the death, our fear will blow us out before the imminent death!
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We fear change because we like the comfort we are in. To start something new or be taken away from the things we are already comfortable with is a struggle. We fear rejection and it is a hard thing for us to adjust.
Fear of the unknown is also the same thing with what we already experienced. We fear the feeling of what happened to us before. Therefore, it is hard for us to adjust and move on.
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Hi @tarazkp,
First of all, let me thank @crypto.piotr for the memo and also for giving me a chance to comment on this extraordinary publication of yours.
Fear will gain ground only to whom who get succumb to them, but not to those who stay strong because as well all know Fortune favors the brave.
a.] ".....every decision sets off a chain reaction of unintended consequences, does this mean we should stay the same, ......."
if we start something new, we will experience new things, it maybe good or bad, but we will learn something new, but if we hesitate to do things differently, we will be having the least chance of progressing forward in our lives.
b.] ".....live in fear of what we believe is there hiding in the darkness?"
Here I would like to mention a humorous occurrence[which almost everyone will experience who are little bit timid]. Whenever we happen to see a horror movie, we will avoid going to the dark places for quite sometime due to that movie's effect. Isn't it?
c] "...... I am not risk-taking. I am not brave. I am not fearless.
But under the right conditions..."
There is no use in saying a thing with 'ifs and buts'.
We must be able to remain the same sort of person irrespective of whatever maybe the situation or in whatever situation that person maybe in. Then only one can hope of living a fearless life FOREVER or else will need to fear about a thing that is actually non-existent.
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It's hard to answer this question because I don't know what is the best version of me. It's always changing and I hope it will continue to do so. As soon as I discover the best version of me, I think I'm going to stagnate.
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It is clear that nobody wants to lose what they have obtained!
Putting an investment at risk is something that nobody would like to do. But to fear the inevitable (death), it is absurd!
Fear has a natural effect on the human being, who sometimes acts as a preventive against certain threats!
But unfounded fear, the one you suffer when you maintain a negative mentality or have resistance to change and innovation; That kind of fears can be transformed into self-destructive!
In any case it would be like putting a blindfold on your eyes to try not to see reality.
I think we should all exercise control over our "fears", using that feeling in our favor. Try to understand the situations we live and not let ourselves be dominated by the adverse, unknown or incomprehensible.
I think that fear is something that can be "cured", something that can be combated if you intend it.
you will live life at your leisure, with nothing to stop you or conditions.
I am sure that if we understand that psychological profile that we all have that potentially generates the "fear", just at that moment we can do it aside and say openly:
"I LIVE MY LIFE WITHOUT FEAR..."
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I think many do this as they try to protect their illusory ego from harm .
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One of the best explanation I have read about fear: http://cwg.org/index.php?b=843
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Yes @devann. Wonderfully explained!
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I think I fear some times, its natural. However I know I overcome
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The ability to overcome is an important trait to develop. We all have it in us.
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Thanks
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Greetings @tarazkp, get here thanks to a friend (@crypto.piotr) which sent me a memo to take a look at your post.
I start by saying that this is great, you put this whole issue in a simple way, and that everything revolves around what we decide to do. While it is true we all like our comfort zone (nobody can say that he does not like to have everything relatively controlled or simply under the conditions that suit us).
And it is that there is where everything lies, and that more the mind is a combination that can be favorable or not to do certain things. A few days ago I saw a video that was sent by a group of WA about the effect of the mind on the body and I can not ignore it when reading about your post, and it is just like that.
If sometimes we cling to a certain idea of not changing for fear that it may happen or not due to this change, we are missing the evolution, the knowledge that is what really happens after changing something, maybe it suits us.
And it is there where you have to learn and know that your fears are your limits and many times you put them on you, because as a child who was not afraid of the dark? Already with the time when you grow up you know that nothing happens that maybe that monster that you saw was not more than the famous chair full of clothes that you have there in the room. That the sound you heard is produced by watching as it passes through the window and so on consecutively.
As I would say the good Juca (@jucaviapri) you have to try things, the first maybe is bad (not the word textual) but then everything will go on rails.
Thanks to those who took the time to read my comment, I do not leave without first wishing you a good day / afternoon / evening, God bless you
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Enjoyed reading your comment @jiqf.
"...... cling to a certain idea of not changing for fear that it may happen or not due to this change, we are missing the evolution, the knowledge that is what really happens.. "
Of course, it is more of like a learning process and if we don't change our idea, our knowledge will not develop. Valid point.
"......because as a child who was not afraid of the dark?" 😱 FOL(fearing out loud)!.....
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Nice to know you enjoyed my comment @marvyinnovation, regards
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In many cases, our fears prove to be nothing more than instinctual responses. For instance, when we hear a dog barking as it runs towards us, most of us will become fearful and defensive.
But how often have we actually been bitten by a dog? In most cases, NEVER! The dog may keep barking and snarling, but if we ignore the dog, it will run around us, and it will not attack.
In fact, the dog itself is the one who is fearful, and it is probably barking in order to scare us away!
So, in the case of the "non-attack dog," all we have to do is face up to it, and we will realize that we are totally safe. The same goes for many situations in our daily life.
Scared of your boss? Face up to him, be polite, discuss any issues, and you might learn that there's nothing to fear. Scared of driving a car after being in a fender-bender accident? Just get behind the wheel, go for a drive on a quiet road, and soon you'll realize, there's nothing to fear.
As for those monsters who were under my bed, I'd face up to them if only I could find out where they are now hiding!!!!
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Wow! @majes.tytyty.... What a Majestic comment this one is! Simply superb. Rather than running away, it is better to face a problem, which is million times better.
"...... those monsters who were under my bed, I'd face up to them if only I could find out where they are now hiding!!!!"
Well said. We need to be brave or else we will stay naive!
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Dear @tarazkp,
Our good friend @crypto.piotr sent me this link.
Yes. But it could also be healthy at times. Sometimes, fear of the unknown can help you survive because, you get to prepare emotionally, physically for whatever task there is. What makes it bad is when you radically obsess over it.
When I was young, I used to hate my dad because he treated me terribly. But looking back now, I felt that he prepared me to survive on my own in this world. I sure appreciate the part where he raised me to be independent and self sufficient. You know what, he's right. He cannot always be there to protect and care for me. But, he could certainly teach me how to survive. I do plan to do the same to my kids someday!
Indeed! Which explains why everyone wanted to be in control on everything. they plan ahead, make plans A, B, C, D and they simply anticipate anything that might go wrong. Which is good technically speaking.
But in life, believe it or not, crazy things do happen and, I mean, crazy things. Sometimes, I wanted to be like those people who had their lives planned from now to ten or fifteen years from now. But, like any other creature, I just succeeded in planning successfully my day. I cannot say that I am more happy or that I am more productive but, I thrive in spontaneity and, living my life with a "masterplan" would only add up to my stress and anxiety eventually.
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Hi @nurseanne84,
Your comment is really engaging.
"....he treated me terribly. But looking back now, I felt that he prepared me to survive on my own in this world. I sure appreciate the part where he raised me to be independent and self sufficient. You know what, he's right. He cannot always be there to protect and care for me. But, he could certainly teach me how to survive."
When people writes some articles regarding these important topics, viewpoints from those who read these blogs provide a platform to others to learn to think in a new dimension. People will always think in one angle including myself. i always thought of showering love on my daughter and take care of her needs at all times and made sure that she never feel like she was let down at any point in time.
But when I happened to read the comment from you, I was taken aback because not everyone can think in that way, i mean, so differently.....so negatively to get a positive output.
"....But, like any other creature, I just succeeded in planning successfully my day."
Oh....that's great.
".......but, I thrive in spontaneity and, living my life with a "masterplan" would only add up to my stress and anxiety eventually."
This is sour truth that none can deny!
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Thank you @marvinnovation. Well, people tend to agree with the writer most of the time but, I think its fair game to "think" outside the box and come up with other perspectives. That's what I am doing now and, that's what I plan to do for the rest of my life.
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Yes. That's right @nurseanne84.
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People are the most productive when they are... terrified... up to a point, at which they become paralyzed. There's a sweet spot in there.
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Oh....is it so @jbgarrison? how can that be true? how can the pipl be most productive when they're terrified and......etc.
Can you please give me an apt example to confirm your statement?
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There are numerous examples in everyone's lives. Here is a hypothetical example: if you are running for exercise normally you may achieve a good fast run time, but if you are running while being chased by a tiger, your run speed will be significantly increased.
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Wow! Great example @jbgarrison72. Thanks for your kind response to my query.
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Appreciate to getting this link by @crypto.piotr
Appreciate also the nice post @tarazkp
Fear seems to be an anomaly that was induced to us by authorities that want to control us.
It is a conspiracy that wants us to believe in something that we should not be involved so we better not go there because of the "monster under the bed".
Like you, I love my daughters and I want them to be in the best situation to be.
I just hate thinking something bad may happen to them.
I prefer thinking that all is well and good times is yet to come.
A very nice way to reflect on why we feel this way.
Regards
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You got a 57.02% upvote from @ocdb courtesy of @tarazkp! :)
@ocdb is a non-profit bidbot for whitelisted Steemians, current max bid is 40 SBD and the equivalent amount in STEEM.
Check our website https://thegoodwhales.io/ for the whitelist, queue and delegation info. Join our Discord channel for more information.
If you like what @ocd does, consider voting for ocd-witness through SteemConnect or on the Steemit Witnesses page. :)
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I agree with you @crypto.piotr is a very interesting reading.
In my personal opinion very personal, the monsters do not lie under the bed. The monsters are the ones we create ourselves, how you express it yourself, it is an emotion and as such we should not allow ourselves to be controlled by it.
@tarazkp says it very well, we have to live, and for that we can not let fear decide for us. And accept the consequences of our decisions.
That will not be so bad, if our decisions are reasoned and not taken in moments of extreme joy or deep sadness, we should not even decide when we feel anger ..
On paper it is said very easy, if it is true, but you can learn,
You will ask me how?
I'll tell you: Making silence. Silence our thoughts and feeling how we are recovering peace little by little.
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