Traffic Koans [Day 1]

_{This is Day 1 of this series for @dragosroua's 30-day writing challenge. For contest details, please check it out here. Every koan is an original work by me.}

"This is where I get off," the man proclaimed.
"This is not the proper place," the driver replied, scratching his head.
"Then where is the proper place?" the man asked. "I just missed my stop."
"If you rely on me for the answer, then you shouldn't have boarded in the first place."

The man got off at the end of the line, then walked back towards his destination.

Welcome to the first ever edition of The Shoulder Lane! Think of this as a SILVER LINING of sorts for this series, where I get to explain an interpretation of the koan for the day. I understand that koans are there to be interpreted, but I wanted to give a brief explanation for the benefit of those who want to enter in the contest but don't get the meaning behind the koan. Since this is the first day, I'm going to say it explicitly, that's not to say that I would do that all the time. This might be a bit longer than the usual posts, so bear with me.

Today, the topic I want to discuss is illegal loading and unloading. I don't know about the traffic situation where you live, but here in the Philippines, that's the number one cause of vehicular congestion. Well, that and drivers who don't deserve to have a license, but that's a topic for a different day. Illegal loading and unloading gets so bad that people often forget that it's illegal.

I must say that some places are still strict when it comes to this, particularly in the business district, which is good. But, there aren't a lot of business districts here, and the traffic spillover from there is just so horrendous. If you want to go to an early grave, then try driving in rush hour in Manila every day.

_{Image Source}

Buses, private cars, taxis, tricycles—you name it! If it has wheels, it probably stops to pick up or drop off passengers wherever they feel like. Heck, even trains are getting in on the action!

_{Nope, that's not a train station.
Image Source}

Oh, and don't get me started with jeepneys! So, we have this thing called a jeepney, which a lot of people are proud of because it's unique to the Philippines. It was inspired by the leftover jeeps that American soldiers left during World War II. It's a non-airconditioned, stainless steel vehicle that has two long vertical seats where passengers sit facing each other. Filipinos are so proud of them that it's often used as an icon of national pride. Every time I hear something like that, all I keep thinking is 'what the flying f#ck!?' (It's fuck, by the way, I just bleeped it out) Those monstrosities are like zits on the road. At least buses have stops, but jeepneys? Jesus H. Christ. They stop wherever they feel like, whenever they feel like. What's worse is most of them don't even have a brake light! You have to gauge whether it had already stopped.

Whenever the drivers hear 'para' (which is roughly translated as 'stop'), they take it as a license to stop wherever they feel like. Some have the decency to go to the side before they stop, but most just stop in the middle of the road. In the middle of the road. Whenever I drive, I brake, on average, a hundred times just because of these motherfuckers. I mean, ugh... I often wish Magneto would swoop down from the sky and just crush all of them to little one inch cubes.

_{Magneto Source}

While it's easy to blame the drivers, I have to give credit to the commuters and the traffic enforcers as well. The concierto of crap that is Philippine traffic wouldn't have been possible without them. Take a bow, you scum of the Earth! Some commuters have never driven in their lives, so they don't know the pain they are causing everyone. Add to that, they are allergic to this thing called 'walking', so instead of alighting when someone already yelled para, they wait a few feet until the vehicle is right in front of their stop before they do the same thing. By few feet, I mean about 10-15 steps. I experienced this firsthand because I used to commute using this a few years ago. The expression on the faces of these people look like it's their birthright to have the jeepney stop exactly where they want. What's bad is that the drivers just comply.

Oh, and these traffic enforcers. The last bastion between congestion and a smooth ride. They're supposed to man their post individually, but you would often see them in tandem, beneath a shade, chatting up a storm. I get it, the sun is harsh, and it's a hard job to do. When you need them to direct traffic, they're just there on the side, watching as the vehicles in the intersection sort themselves out. We're all adults anyway, right? We should know how to interact with one another peacefully. They're not doing their jobs because they don't want to belittle the drivers. Such wow. Many respect.

_{Image Source}

You know when they say little actions add up to something big? This is exactly where that applies. Imagine a thousand cars doing this consecutively. Imagine you're starting your day having woken up on the right side of the bed, you leave home 3 hours early for a 45-minute commute, only to end up an hour late for work. Yes, that's right. Ahh now I feel much better knowing that I don't have to drive everyday. Thank you for reading the first edition of Traffic Koans. I'm looking forward to reading your entries :D

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