Well I've been in the mood to write but just haven't had the motivation. That weird state of just looking at the keyboard and your head buzzing with ideas. Sometimes when I need that motivation I open up a dictionary. Yup just open up to a random page and start to read it. I find that activity to relax me and clear my head. Plus it's always nice to learn a new word.
But I digress a bit. When I transitioned to full time I didn't realize how taxing on me it was going to be. Not so much in a bad way but rather the way I think and view the world. I hid behind a beard and guys clothes but deep down inside of me, I knew who I was(Mary). Like opening the dictionary to a random page I learn more about myself each day. Yes I know, corny lol.
Enough of the sappy and corny. Some people quietly left my life, I'm fine with that. Only one person gave me trouble and still produces angst in me. They insinuated suicide, tide pod challenge was it at this point. So death by tide pod is what they wanted for. But they also proceeded to tell me that, "Just because I pretend to be a woman they won't respect me." I never got the chance to say to them FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU, YOU FUCK! Last I remember from social media before I removed them they were asking for prayers; someone in their family was sick or something. Well, at least I don't pretend to be a good person and want suicide for one and prayers for another. Hahaha, you fuck(Voice inside my head).
Being genuine and honest with yourself and to others is important. Now if someone says something hateful or mean, well at least I'm me. I'm not me pretending to be who I wasn't. I'm Mary and I'm happy to be me, you Fuck.
-Much love and have a great day!
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