Appreciate Where You Are On Your Journey

Things might be too slow and dreams might seem too far for the beach bums out here. But you know what they say, life is a beach. Flashback... how did I end up in paradise too soon when my original plan was to conquer the hell on earth? There were many times I had been wrong, and I banged my head against the wall. But I tried and tried again. Like what do I really want? Is this what I really want to do for the rest of my life? What if this is not what I want? All those questions in my head as I went around looking for an answer. For the past few years that I had been wandering around like a lone adventurer looking for her treasure. Like a bird looking for her song. Then I met those along the way telling me where to find that song - mountains, waterfalls, cities, and islands. In the end, I ended up where I started.

Remember when I wrote about my trip to the Galapagos islands this year which has become a great turning point in my life? I met a family there who just confirmed that this is what I want to do. I had an idea of this project a long time ago but it was not just made clear to me back then. I had doubts about myself so I chose to stay in unfulfilling jobs instead. At first, I was fearful to travel so I just settled. Then I became fearful to settle down so I chose to travel more. Along the way, I just did what I had to do but I appreciate every moment of it. I appreciate that I didn't go through that joint venture. I appreciate that I traveled more instead. I appreciate that I failed in my other projects. I appreciate that I lost my job. I appreciate that I stayed in the Galapagos islands to enjoy nature and contemplate. I appreciate that I failed again and again. I appreciate that everything is taking so slow. I just appreciate where I am on my journey.

I even appreciate all my down and bitter feelings. I thought how come others have friends or connections to fund their venture? How come people have good or rich parents to loan them some money? How come others have an advantage? Should I go back to a minimum wage job and work with 20-year olds? Should I go back to working for unethical corporations and not have time for anything else anymore? While other friends of my age now have families, kids, houses and are now pretty stable in their lives? Have I missed the boat somewhere?

Anyway, I didn't fight all these feeling and questioning, I just let myself go through it. I'm not even going to fight myself to positivity if I am really feeling negative. Why should I listen to others who try to cheer me up and say, hey be positive. Mind you, even the bitter feelings should be appreciated. Anyone can leave me if they don't want my misery because, for all they know, I have been all alone for too long, by choice. Too silent, too devoid of care and attention that could have already lead to my demise. I had contained my rage for too long. For all that I had been through in life, for all its pain and beatings, too bad I am not done yet. Like that zombie you are trying to shoot, you thought you are the hero but really it is the zombie that keeps on getting up. The zombie that is hard to kill. I learned to unleash my fury. I know what I have to do and I will feel what I have to feel. It is a good time for self-reflection. After all these yucky, tough and tortoise times, it would be all worth it. There's no 'but' and there's no 'what if' anymore because, for the first time in my life, I am really sure that I could do something.

Nevertheless, happiness should not be based on achievement. I cannot say, I will pause being happy until I get these things. I appreciate this path I am taking at the moment. I like this new journey very much and there's absolutely no rush. The universe has always conspired to make things happen for me. And for some reason things didn't really happen, maybe I just didn't do what I had to do enough or maybe I should take a detour. Like what I always said to my friend in the past, let whatever happens happen. I'm happy that I have a long-term vision right now but at the same time, I can appreciate the hard times. Perhaps, I would appreciate the achievement of my goals even more, thanks to this really slow but enjoyable process. I also learned to respect myself even more for my independence and perseverance.

So now, what do I appreciate? I appreciate that I can write for this community while I could focus on my project. I appreciate that I have this wonderful nature and good weather. I appreciate that I have more freedom here. I appreciate that I have few friends in real life who are supporting my endeavors. I appreciate that I was introduced to cryptocurrency which is definitely empowering me.

Keep your long-term vision in mind. Write your goals clearly on a paper or something, then do what you have todo, even just baby steps. It really helps that you can see or check what you have already accomplished. But also remember to enjoy and appreciate where you are on your journey, everything is important.

^{I asked if they wanted to do things the easy way. I meant easy for me.}