Confessions of a Lonesome Wanderer: Nothing Lasts

"Are you prepared to be ridiculed, ignored and starving till you are forty-five?"
"I am. But tell me: What will happen after I am forty-five?"
"You will have grown accustomed to it." - Anthony de Mello

One thing I have learned from my travels is to let go. We live in a world where everything seems to be already designed for us. I grew up thinking that I would be something by the age 25. But when I reached that age, all I had to be was just to be myself.

Surely, those years when I didn’t do anything but work hard, buy things and stay in a relationship. I watched people coming in and out of the metros, going up and down the escalators. Moving fast like crickets. I always have this vision, everyone is doing the same things every day as if everything has already been designed. The Matrix.

I was on the verge of losing my sanity brought about by the corporate job stress. Those things you hear about the Silicon Valley, the harassment, bullying etc., those are all true. The result of job stress was that I became upset with everything else in life, trying to control things, making everything better. But better things were not always the case for me, so I came to a point that there is nothing that needs to be changed outside. I need to change.

I need to stop controlling things and just go where the river flows. Letting go is freedom.

I remember when I was waiting by the road side, I didn’t know what was ahead of me. This was the time when I was no longer part of the Matrix, at least for some time. I didn’t know if living off my savings will last. I didn’t know if it’s going to be good or bad at my next destination. What if someone steals my stuff? What if I die along the way?

I embraced the uncertainty. It was difficult but it was freedom.

I live up to my favorite Spanish phrase: "venga lo que venga".

Come what may.

There was no control of earning more, buying more, protecting my savings and defending my ego. On the road, I offered myself to the world as a bait, there was no use to trying to control things. I trust that the universe will protect me, and I just enjoy every moment of my journey.

Because you know why? Nothing lasts.

Protecting and getting attached to things will only imprison you. There are no guarantees to everything in life. Whether you like it or not, you will lose something. You might lose everything. Face the truth as early as now.

You will lose your job, you will lose your money, you will lose your title, you will lose your loved ones, you will lose yourself. Everything has an end. This is the truth I remind myself every day. This is why it is good for me not to be attached to anything.

So what should I do then?

Enjoy everything while it lasts.