I have trichotillomania.
I can remember the moment I started pulling out my hair vividly.
I was in the ladies room at work and I was inspecting my appearance before returning to my desk. My hair looked wrong. Some strands were sticking up at the parting. I pulled them all out quickly and I immediately felt better. I thought it was a good idea and I should do it all the time.
It wasn't a good idea. Now I can't stop doing it.
If I was doing anything which did not keep my hands occupied, they would occupy themselves by pulling out my hair. I would constantly run my fingers thought my hair at work or at home. If the strand didn't feel 'right', it was coming out.
There was no real logic behind what constituted a wrong strand. If it felt too short, it was out, if it felt slightly kinky, it got pulled. Sometimes there was nothing wrong with the strand, it was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Overtime, I noticed the effect all my hair pulling was having. I was thinning, and I had a lot more shorter strands sticking up around my parting. Unfortunately, by that point even my vanity was not enough to stop me.
I have tried to elevate my trichotillomaniac tenancies. I have never spoken to a doctor about it because I hate going to the doctor and I kinda knew it was just caused by work stress. Work stress seems unavoidable so I do the following things to treat the symptoms instead of the cause;
Hairstyle - I think tying my hair up helps but I still pull out loose strands.
Crafts - I try to keep my hands occupied with knitting and crochet.
Fidget Cube - I just got one. I hope to use it to keep my hands occupied in situations where it is impractical to do craft.
Talking - Sharing my trichotillomania experience with others to raise awareness.
If you have any advice, please let me know. I could really use it because unfortunately I did find myself reaching for my hair while proof-reading this!