#ULOG 44 | A Decadent Feeling

I wish I was just like before that I can stay up late night and do things whatever I want but many years had past that I can't be able to participate whatever event I am invited, I can't even listen to Discord Steemgigs Talk Show knowing I will only listen to SG, unfortunately, I have a work.

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Well, things are beginning to change as I add another decade of my life a year from now. I have seen changes physically and I guess spiritually too. Knowing that I am not getting younger anymore. I can see myself getting my first cane or even touching my back so that I could walk straight. I'm beginning to felt it little by little, the knee is not that strong enough when I walk, I felt like I'm about to stumble sometimes. The one thing I am still blessed are my eyes, I still can read a font as small as 3 font size or 2 but it still take a while to read. I really took care of my eyes for almost 30 years when I first use a computer from green to monochrome to color monitor!

My internals, I don't know for sure if my kidney will still last a decade or more, I had a small stones that I had 3 times I already peed in less than 20 years. I know it's a dreaded feeling if I don't take care of it. If I will went into surgery will there be enough money to pay for it?

For 30 years of working in a computer I know had this carpal syndrome if this is correct term for it. Wow, 30 years working as graphic designer and encoder for books, thesis, etc. I know it's hard to handle but I had too, it's painful, I thought my wrist will break into two, lol!

This decadent feelings takes time to manifest but when the obvious are there, you can't deny the fact that makes you feel left alone, they see as you are still strong, able to lift a 500 lbs dead lift something like that. But in reality things change so fast you didn't even get to notice in your lifetime because we are too busy making money, attending to family's attention, our parents who are old, forgetful, etc.

I wish, I just only wish when the time comes I'll run away and disappear into the sea or into the outer space! It's like I am buried their not knowing my dead soul ever felt it!