Uber Story Time (Urban Legend Flash Fiction Contest)

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Hi Youtube! It's your boy, Blake, back again for another - Uber Story Time!
Everybody's got crazy stories about Uber drivers...
But we have stories about you too!

Okay, so, as you saw from the title of the video, this is why I'm taking a break from Uber. Maybe forever…

Warning, this gets a bit scary...

So, I pick up this super cutesy doll-type girl from this stuffy gated community- And when I say "doll-type", I mean the whole deal: Extreme makeup to make her face look like one of those Japanese cartoon girls; a dress that looked like it belonged on a doll (and really pushed the limits on "too short"); and this absurdly large purse that - I guess - was supposed to make her look smaller? I don't know...

Anyway, she didn't say anything... just got in, sat real still, and stared at me through my rear-view mirror for the whole ride. And when I say, "the whole ride," I mean:

The.

Whole.

Ride.

Like, she was trying to memorise my face for a police sketch artist or something. I don't think she ever blinked either. I mean, I was mostly trying to focus on the road... but we're just going to say she never blinked.

Bottom line. This chick was effing creepy.

So, I was glad she actually paid for that long, expensive ride into the corn fields and left me in peace. But wait, that's not the end of the story. At the time, I thought it was... and - lemme digress for a moment – because maybe I caused this… Because, I genuinely thought: "Was this really enough for a Story Time video?"

Well, it was like the universe heard me... because I was jump-scared out of those thoughts by this car behind me smashing their horn. I check my mirror and see this crazed woman in the car behind me waving her arm and yelling at me and honking her horn.

At this point, I'm so annoyed by being scared like that, I don't even really remember what she was gesturing. I’m thinking this chick is crazy and wants me to speed up or something, so I stick my arm out the window and wave her around. Like, just go around, ya know? But she doesn't go around. She just keeps following me.

This kinda freaks me out, ya know? So, I speed up. And she speeds up! I take a right turn, she follows me! I take a left turn, she follows me again!

So, now, I'm thinking this is someone I drove before that's mad about... something? Or maybe an internet stalker that's figured out what kind of car I drive... I don't know! I just know she will not stop following me. But she wasn't trying to run me off the road or anything either... I'm telling you, guys, this was nuts! I was fully clenched.

Okay, so this woman is so dead-set on following me, right? That she follows me straight to the police station! I pull into the parking lot - I don't even park in a parking spot - I just put it in park, jumped out, and start calling out to the two cops coming out of the door of the police station: "This woman has been following me... she followed me from such and such place..." And you know they’re all, “Calm down, Slow down…”

At this point, she's gotten out of her car and she's already going too: "Officer! Please! There's a woman in the back of his car with a knife!"

Suddenly, the creepy doll girl I thought I dropped off pops out of my back seat and makes a run for it! Giant effing knife in hand!

She was gonna stab me, ya'll! Why?!

Oh man... let me take a breath...

Don't worry, they caught her.

I just... hm.

So, this woman I thought was mad or stalking actually saved my life. I mean, it probably helped that I stopped at a police station... But, damn.

So, apparently, according to the police, this is some kind of new initiation ritual… I don’t know if they mean into a gang or a cult… but apparently: One, they only target men. Gee, thanks. And two, she was supposed to kill me and bring back both my body and my car!

Apparently, they said, this is why Uber and Lyft drivers have been going missing…

This world ain’t right.

Anyway…

Thank you, guys for watching, I hope you enjoyed this video. If you did, please give it a big thumbs up. And make sure to subscribe, because I make new videos every Tuesday and Thursday.

That’s it! The End. Sweet dreams.

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Written by @PegasusPhysics

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When revisiting classic urban legends for one to give a modern retelling, I was inspired by a commentary (regarding this particular Urban Legend) from Barbara Mikkelson on Snopes that “the prey is always female and both the evil fiend and the rescuer are male — there are no exceptions to this typecasting.”

Well, now there is.

Thank you for reading! ^_^
~Pegasus