So, I’ve finally taken my head out of the sand; I’m going vegan.
I have friends who made the switch years ago, but was always put-off by the preachiness of [many] vegans I’ve met (sorry, but I’m being honest). That, and the fact I love meat so much, and don’t really like too many vegetables – and especially not Tofu!
I’m in my 40’s, have a wife who will never go vegan, and loves to cook. I’m not saying she’ll turn violent…but I know there’ll be resistance.
We also have a five-year-old daughter, who I don’t want to force anything on. She has started asking questions about killing animals, but I’ll let her curiosity run its natural course.
So, not only do I have a lifetime of habits to kick, but I won’t be living in an ideally supportive environment.
Here’s my plan
I probably should bite the bullet, and go for it, today.
But the festive season is just around the corner, and my wife, who does shift work (and doesn’t always spend the whole of Christmas Day at home), will get to cook a lovely, traditional (in England at least) meal of Turkey – with all the trimmings. She loves to cook Christmas dinner, and I don’t want to rain on her parade.
So, I’m planning to see out Christmas as a carnivore – my last hurrah, and turn vegan on New Year’s Day. A resolution I’ll actually stick to, for once!
And where I need your help
I’ve not broke the news to my wife yet (not the problem).
As a family, sitting down for an evening meal at the dining table is an important part of our day. We’ve done so since we lived together, but also instilled this as a “norm” for our daughter from day one.
Now I’m going to upset the apple-cart – and sitting down together for a meal is important to me.
Forgetting how much harder it’ll make it for me to give up meat, with my wife and daughter eating it in front of me.
I’m hoping somebody can tell me how they’ve approached a similar problem when first becoming vegan, but their partner/child(ren) did not.
Any advice would be welcome.
Interestings thoughts @minimalish! I would advise you, to chance your diet step by step. To go vegan is a great way for your health. Before you go vegan inform yourself. From my own experience I can say, that your environment is very important, because they can influence you so much. It´s important never to justify your decision. Your partner have to respect you.
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Yes, I am planning on doing a lot of research and preparation - which I'm starting here, in earnest. And doing it gradually is a good idea (don't know why I didn't think of that one). I could start trying a few dishes, maybe one day a week to begin with.
Thanks so much for your comment (and the upvote :))
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Hi there @minimalish! I know making any type of change can be challenging, especially when you might be the only one in your household going in that direction. Though it may be a bit tough at first, I am sure it can be done in a way that does not compromise your other priorities of spending that wonderful time with your family. I am lucky in that my household is only myself and my boyfriend. He is not fully vegan, but he is perfectly happy eating anything I make so it did make things much easy for my transition.
There are probably many ways you can go about making the switch. Everyone is different in what works for them, so you may have to experiment a little bit and not be too frustrated if you are not perfect to start. Perhaps picking one thing at a time to take out is a good option. I know some people who cut out red meat first, then poultry, then fish, then eggs and dairy (or some form of that). That way they didn't feel totally overwhelmed at first. Then again I know other people who jumped right in.
You can also take it one day at a time. Say start off with "meatless Mondays" and then add on as you go. Or even start off with one meal at a time. Maybe find a few vegan options for breakfast, then work on your lunches once you have a breakfast routine down, and finally move on to dinners if that is the hardest.
There is no one right way, so just do what you can to keep making small movements forward. Bravo for deciding to make the change and reaching out for help. I've found the community on here so wonderfully supportive as I don't have many vegan friends in my daily life. Once you start trying all these delicious recipes that everyone on here shares then perhaps even your spouse won't mind a meatless meal on occasion. Feel free to reach out if you need some encouragement! :)
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Thanks so much for your wonderful answer. A lot of good points!
I'm not too worried about going all-in at once. With any change, it's the first few days, or weeks which will be the hardest, and I'm prepared for that. I've done a 10-day water fast (no food, only water for 10 days) and have cut sugar out of my diet before (and I have a sweet tooth) - although that was years ago, and it's crept back in since.
I'm not a great lover of veggies, so I think finding meals I enjoy is going to be my biggest challenge. And I'm 99.9% sure my wife won't switch at any point (she'll be okay with me going vegan, but there'll be some eye-rolling involved). Which is why I'm thinking family meal times are going to be a challenge.
But once again, thank you so much for your advice. I'm going to get involved with the Steem Vegan community and intend to post about what I learn along the way.
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I'm sure if you check out all the yummy veggies people cook up around the vegan community you should find some things you like! Check out @lenasveganliving's #fruitsandveggiesmonday contest for some guaranteed inspiration, and there are often quite a few vegan entries for the @cookwithus contest. I look forward to seeing how things go for you!
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That's a tough one, but I was still living home with my parents when I turned vegan and we always managed to get everyone happy at the table. We often cooked things that were easy to separate, like meat, potatoes, veggies and sauce - instead of the meat and mostly dairy-based sauces I then made my own stuff. This way we could enjoy and share a meal but I could still stick to my morals.
More and more, my family got curious about all the delicious things on my plate and incorporated more healthy stuff into their meals. They all were pretty understanding and respected my decision. I am sure your family will learn to do the same and when you explain your position in a non-judgmental way, they will respect your new way and your strength behind it. 💚
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Thank you :)
We have had the occasional "no meat" day, where we eat only veg-based, so it's not like my family are against veggies or anything - and my wife is always pushing veg to eat with meat.
I suppose actually cooking 2 meals at the same time is the biggest challenge - so we can sit down to eat together.
My hope is that my daughter will ask more questions - like "why is daddy having a different meal?. She's already had the discussion about killing animals being bad, but decided that buying meat from the supermarket is okay, because those animals are already dead - we should just stop killing more animals!! She is five :)
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