My friend told me about this community. It seemed like a good place to share my thoughts to help with my depression and anxiety. Sometimes I feel like I just ruminate on the same feelings and problems over and over and over.
I'm in school. I'll graduate soon and have a job. I've spent my whole life saying if I get through this next thing then I'll be happy. But that's never true. It reminds me of what a professor in undergrad told me. He was my advisor. He said that you can't just think of graduation requirements as something you have to "get through." You won't learn and appreciate the classes. And if you keep telling yourself things will be better later, you don't try to make your present life better.
Sometimes I get mad at my past self. I feel like I've set up so many troubles for myself. If I changed sooner, there would be less to do. I need to focus. I need to improve my diet and exercise. I need to reclaim my hobbies. I can't just keep doing nothing all day and asking myself why I'm so miserable.