Will
I say I ended my Celibacy or the break from not being with a man? Well, it happened.
After we made love, Nathan got marijuana from his boxers pocket, while I crawled naked under the covers, breathing in jasmine and fabric softener.
Nathan came all the way from Surulere to see me that night.
I realized I could tell him anything at all, almost, anyway. I told him how I felt In the beginning, when I first saw him, I didn't think I wanted him sexually. He laughed and said, "Well, that has certainly changed now ma'am."
"Stop calling me ma'am. Call me Inameti or something sweet. We've been intimidate enough."
"But you're my boss." He retorted calmly.
"Let the boss thing go Nathan, I want you more than being just a boss to you. I want to be your lover." He stared at me like I said something strange. I guess it sounded strange to him though, coming from me. My favorite part of being with Nathan was lying on his hairy arms in the chill hotel room, telling him everything I thought and felt. I even told him two of my biggest secrets.
The first was the affair I had with my late father's friend Uncle Jeremiah. He was a widower, and the only man that truly loved me. He died a year after we started dating. And even when I knew that mama wouldn't have approved of our relationship, I loved him still. He wasn't the ordinary Nigerian man who stressed out women In the name of marriage and relationship. He was rare.
And the second one was the rape. I was raped by our family pastor, pastor Daniel. That day, mama left us alone at home. He'd promised her to give me Sunday school lessons, while she carried Mimi from school. He tore my panties apart and carried me on the couch, mounting on me and riding on me. It was painful, so painful. I couldn't scream, I didn't know what he was doing. I was only eleven. He told me that if I ever tell mama or anyone, that I was going to die and meet the devil in hell fire. His threats got me. I kept that secret in my heart for years, and the first person I told was Nathan.
Nathan said I was so sweet but insane. He loved me like that. I knew I was insane, and I wondered how whosoever I was going to be married to would cope with my insanity. I needed a man who would fit in my person, and everyone thought I was mad for ever demanding for a kind of man with a particular attitude and character.
"I missed you." Nathan said. It was the first time he'd ever said that to me. He got close to me and I snuggled closer to him while he lit a joint.
He took a hit, then passed it to me.
"This feels really good, being here with you," he said. "How was China?" He asked.
"China was great. I didn't have much time to tour around."
"How can you go to a place like China and not have time to tour around?" He asked.
"Well, that's to show how busy I was. Work. work. work."
"Don't worry, when I become rich, I will take you around the world, just the two of us."
"Not you and your girlfriend?" He paused for a while.
"I don't have a girlfriend. We broke up after she found out about you."
My heart skipped. "What? How did she find out about us?"
"Well, she was reading our chats. Then she left."
"I'm really sorry." I said softly.
"It's okay. It ended well. She knew I was already in love with you. It's good she's no more here in my life."
A breeze suddenly blew into the room from the other part of the room, and I knew that it might be the rains. Such breeze usually comes with the rain and it was what we needed for the night. Nathan smiled at me and squeezed my hand like he always did. His hand was cold as a Popsicle.
He held me to himself and began to kiss me in a succulent manner. I wasn't in control of myself anymore. This particular night, he wasn't the cleaner who washed the dirty dishes or the car, or my cook who made me breakfast, lunch and dinner. He was my lover too, and guess what makes it more interesting? He was a perfect lover, not like my exes Sam, Jerry, Uwem, Tay and the rest of them silly guys. Nathan was my kind of man.
I stood there as impassive as a statue. I took a deep breath, fighting the silly weakness that wouldn't make me respond to his mild touches. It made me feel vulnerable. My emotions were running riot, and they had to be reined in. I had to control myself. But when I looked at his eyes, there was that softness. He didn't look like the person who just inhaled marijuana. His eyes caught and held mine with serious intent. At that moment, he looked like one guy I had a one night stand with in Soweto, his name was Oluwasegun, he was Yoruba.
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