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Being a lover of children and spending a lot of quality time with them, I have noticed a common trend with parents, which seems to be affecting the behaviour of their children.
We all know children are a blessing, and parents have the basic responsibility to care for their physical, emotional and mental needs. However, in trying to do this, some parents lose focus along the line.
I have noticed there are a lot of children these days that enjoy being 'drama kings and queens'. They have just mastered the act of throwing tantrums!
What happened to the generation of well behaved children?!
Looking at my growing up years, i came to this conclusion- parents go the extreme with the rule of the 3P's.
What are the 3P?
Simply put, parents are under obligation to do the following for their children:
♡ Provide
♡ Protect
♡ Praise
These are mandatory requirements for parents. But as we know, too much of everything is bad.
When parents go the extreme with the 3P's, the consequences can be damaging to the child. Let us look at them one at a time.
☆ Over Providing-
Some parents never want their children to lack anything, probably because of the kind of life they lived growing up.
This has made some parents overindulge their children, even giving them things they will never need.
The effect- children have a false sense of entitlement, they expect life to always be a bed of roses and they are never prepared for the challenging realities of life.
At the end of the day we end up with children who are lazy, selfish, and expect things at the snap of their fingers without any effort on their part.
☆ Over Protecting-
A child who is over protected will find it difficult to stand on his own.
They have been brainwashed to belive that life is too difficult for them to handle, hence they lack Self-Confidence in their ability and become overly dependent on their parents.
The child has reduced self esteem, lacks initiative and is unable to tackle problems. Others become rebellious, this is because as they grow older, they see things differently and begin to resist parentalauthority or influence.
☆ Over Praising-
When we give sincere comendation to children, it boosts their self esteem and makes them more darring.</div
A recent Stanford Study of toddlers showed that “praising effort, not talent, leads to greater motivation and more positive attitudes toward challenges” down the road.
However, in a bid to boost children’s self-esteem, parents make exaggerated statements emphasizing how great the children are, instead of their true abilities.
This has a negative impact on the children. They tend to feel inadequate when they come face to face with their actual potential- this makes them feel uncertain about their true abilities, and eventually give up trying even throwing tantrums when forced.
So rather than over praising a child's ability, parents should commend their children’s efforts and acknowledge their improvement.
Striking a balance with the 3P's produces more responsible and happy children!
