Keg Vs. Sixpack 70811

by Noxsoma

(The Noxsoma Project)

Disclaimer: This is a self-indulgent entry that may or may not impress, interest, inspire, raise your ire or set you afire. I occasionally jot down such notes so I'll have something to look back on when all my goals have been achieved, hurdles cleared and nations conquered.

Like most people I figured that if I did a zillion sit ups (as we did in gym class way back then) and then crunches, I would achieve the now-coveted six pack abdominals. I later learned, much to my chagrin and denial that crunches don't burn any significant fat and if you're carrying around a keg where your belly should be, doing crunches will only make the keg appear bigger.

"when I became a certified personal trainer I actually started READING instead of theorizing."

Denile [sic] is a terrible place to be especially without a buoy. I was sinking fast as I ignored the calls of those more knowledgeable than I. "Diet," they called. "None sense!" I replied as I frantically added more plates to the bar. "I'll pump my chest up so much my stomach won't show," was my theory and strategy. Until I was known around the YMCA as 'that kind of muscular fat guy' ... or was it the other way around?

I'd dropped 25 pounds just by lifting heavy weights and it only took me five years! But my belly was still big... no six pack in sight.

Then I got smart(er), literally, as when I became a certified personal trainer I actually started READING instead of theorizing. The news wasn't good, but it was useful. As my would-be rescuers from denial [sic] tried to tell me.. Diet Diet DIET!! Calories in calories out. I had to give up certain foods, certain portions and certain alcoholic beverages (as regularly as I was imbibing), plus, I had to add certain foods to my repertoire, foods that I'd been less than enamored with in my youth.

I also had to engage in more aerobic activity, like going non stop for 20 minutes, 30, 60.. etc. etc. etc.run-run-jump-jump-climb.. play like a child, swing, huff-puff... and I was only getting older (although physiologically I am younger than I was 15 years ago... but that's another story).

"You have the strength and energy to do whatever and you don't have to call out sick Monday morning because you're sore."

Three more devastating blows were delivered by my opponent(s), in this case "Facts;" the older you get the harder it becomes to burn fat. Belly fat is the hardest to get rid of, and Facts' side kick "Rumours" if you're over 21, never been an athlete you can forget about a six pack (this was told to me by the head personal trainer of the first gym at which I worked.) Oh, and then there's heredity and the words of my mother, "I don't think you'll ever get rid of that belly."

Thanks Mom. Luckily I know when my mother is issuing me a challenge and even if she wasn't I took it as such.

At some point in the last five years my focus went from lifting heavy weights to dropping body fat percentage. (I learned how to calculate that too.)

So guess what - that shit works. It all works, but you have to do it all and most importantly you have to KEEP AT IT... for the rest of your life. Which really isn't as bad as it sounds. Imagine an active life style. (No I am not selling anything...) You have the strength and energy to do whatever and you don't have to call out sick Monday morning because you're sore.

"everyone who has lost hope of attaining that six-pack look will know that it is indeed possible"

But anyway - after going back and forth from bulking to burning routines over the past... well since 2007, Mr. Six Pack is making his presence known as Mr. Keg recedes into the background. I'll confirm, it's every bit as hard, (probably harder) as everyone told me it would be. For me being in the gym is not difficult, I've been at it for 15 years and teaching group exercise for 5, but that's all I do. The food thing has been a bit more challenging. I've been reading nutrition and diet books about the relationship between nutrients and blood, which hormones do what and why and what supplements are supposed to do what and which powders are supposed to enhance your energy and like that.

And still, Mr. Six Pack is maybe a 45% partner in Belly Inc.

I read an article that stated abdominal muscles begin to show around 12-11% body fat. The fact that I can even see a hint of them, (in the right light, at the right angle, on a good day) is a testament to my progress and will keep Buffalo wings and fish and chips off of my plate, (with the exception of emergency eating situations.)

If you've read this far thanks - it's revealing of my personality that I've taken on this quest. First of all, I'm probably more vain than I want to admit, secondly I'm more tenacious in a vindictive kind of way than I want to admit also. I am looking forward to flashing my six pack abs and saying, "See, Told Ya!!" And when (not if) that happens, regardless of whether it's my 60th or 75th birthday, everyone who has lost hope of attaining that six-pack look will know that it is indeed possible.

This is me, about 1996. The year of upheaval.
Don't tell me You can't do it!

Fitness is not a fad, it is for LIFE!

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