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Many fat activists and people in larger bodies have made the decision to reclaim the word “fat” as a neutral descriptor. The decision to do so is highly personal for individuals living in larger bodies, as many have experienced the word “fat” being weaponized against them. For the purposes of this article, I stick to the wording of “people in larger bodies” or “people in higher-weight bodies” to respect the journeys of those trying to decide what descriptor best matches their lived experience.

Michelle was a three-sport athlete in high school. While there was a part of her that enjoyed the camaraderie with her teammates, the sense of accomplishment she felt when setting new records — there was another part of her that participated in the hopes of shrinking her body. Michelle, who is now studying to be a therapist, didn’t know about eating disorders when she was younger. She reflects, “I had this idea that I wanted to become a professional swimmer so that I would be able to exercise even more. I would get many compliments on my body during swim season, even though that was when I hated my body the most.”

The comments Michelle received on her weight and body when she was restricting and compensating fueled her eating disorder. “There was an underlying message” she adds, “that my body wasn’t good enough before I lost the weight.”

“There was an underlying message” she adds, “that my body wasn’t good enough before I lost the weight.”

As an eating disorders treatment professional, I, unfortunately, hear accounts like Michelle’s on a daily basis — a person loses weight due to an increasingly problematic relationship food — that weight loss is complimented, and the person continues engaging in behaviors that are extremely harmful. I’ve also heard countless stories from friends, family, colleagues, and complete strangers sharing that they have received weight-loss compliments when they were experiencing immense pain and suffering — dying from cancer, grieving the loss of a spouse, or suffering from another debilitating illness.

With at least 20 million women and 10 million women in America alone at some point in their lives and countless others suffering from any number of physical or mental illnesses that might contribute to weight fluctuations, one would think that it would be common sense not to comment on a person’s weight. Why are weight loss compliments such a common social gesture, despite their glaringly inappropriate and problematic connotations?

Why are weight loss compliments such a common social gesture, despite their glaringly inappropriate and problematic connotations?

It’s a complex issue — while some people equate weight loss to desirability, others associate it with health and longevity (and many believe the two go hand-in-hand). But why? Why are these beliefs so deeply ingrained? One answer is fatphobia.

What is fatphobia?

Fatphobia is the fear of being fat or becoming fat, which results in the stigmatization of individuals that live in fat bodies. Fatphobia, which has both racist and classist origins, is at the root of our cultural obsession with thinness and diet culture.

Author of Sabrina Strings explains in her with NPR that 19th-century magazines, such as Harper’s Bazaar, warned their white, middle and upper-class women audience that they must start to “watch what they ate” as a mechanism for differentiating themselves from slaves, creating a new aspect of racial identity (if you’re interested in learning more about the racial origins and history of fatphobia check out the resources I’ve outlined at the end of this piece).