Inggris
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In all marriages there are several circumstances that must be emphasized, among which is what the husband has to kufu '(balanced) with what is owned by the wife, based on the hadith of the Prophet. said:
"Marriage is like slavery, so one should pay attention to where to put its glory, so do not marry a woman, except with a man who (balance)."
The meaning of balanced or almost balanced in the view of the scholars is, including religion, nasab, body shape, property and work. A husband in marriage should follow Sunna Rasul's intention, and multiply the people of the Prophet. Then do good in leadership, show his wife to the right, maintain the value of religion and hope for the pious descendants who pray for him later
Rasulallahu said:
إنما الأعمال بالنيات إنما لكل امرىء ما نوى
Verily deeds depend on intentions, virtually everyone depends on what is in its intention.
While the things that need to be considered in the person of a wife is that there is nothing that rejects marriage as in the state of iddah from the first husband, to understand the meaning contained in the two sentences of shahadah and embraced Islam.
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Prophet Saw. said:
"A woman is married because of her property, her beauty, her nasab and her religion, then you should marry women because of her religion, then you are happy."
Prophet Muhammad SAW. said:
"Whoever marries a woman for her property and beauty, then the treasures and beauty of the woman will be eliminated by Allah SWT And whoever marries a woman because of her religion, Allah will give rizki to her treasure and her beauty"
Prophet Muhammad SAW. said:
"Do not marry a woman for her beauty, it could be her beauty will bring her a valley of humiliation, and do not marry a woman for her treasure, it could be with her property that she will misbehave." And you should marry a woman who has a good person.
Prophet Muhammad SAW. said:
"Ask Allah to protect Allah from a hated thing, they ask, 'Is that a hateful thing, O Messenger of Allah?' He replied: 'The hated thing is (1) the betrayed leader, who robs you of your right, (2) his ugly neighbor, his eyes sees you while his heart turns away from you If he sees goodness he closes his eyes, ugliness, he tried to spread it. (3) The woman who grows gray before the time. '"
Married woman is not sterile, because the Prophet Saw. said:
"Marry you with a loving woman and give birth to many children, for I will boast of you in the presence of others, and marry neither old woman nor barren, for the children of a Muslim are under the shadow of the Throne. collected by his father, the prophet Ibrahim, the beloved of Allah, they ask forgiveness for their parents. "
Married women should be virgins. Prophet Saw. said: "Let ye marry virgins, for they are cleaner in their mouths, more lusty, and good for themselves."
The woman who married was someone else, because the Prophet Saw. said: "Do not marry a woman with a family relationship, because the child born will be thin."
Children born thin because of impotence. Not the same if the wife is not from his own relatives. Because women of their own relatives are only able to awaken the power of taste to lust only. However, when viewed from the side of life and harmony, then married with their own relatives is the most special. Because women who still have relatives rarely betray her husband. She is usually patient when her husband hurts her, does not insult her husband, is not easily attracted to other men, and the jealousy of women's kinship toward her husband is embedded beyond her family-mated jealousy.
The properties as above are not easy to find in women who are not relatives, especially if the woman who is still a relative beautiful face, because it can bring more harmony and prosperity. Only Allah is the Essence Who Owns Taufiq and Hidayah.
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Indonesia
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Cara Memilih Istri Sholeha dalam Islam
Dalam semua pernikahan ada beberapa keadaan yang harus dititik-beratkan, diantaranya adalah apa yang dimiliki suami harus kufu' (seimbang) dengan apa yang dimiliki istri, berdasarkan hadits Nabi Saw. bersabda:
"Pernikahan itu seumpama perbudakan, maka hendaknya salah seorang kalian memperhatikan dimana harus meletakkan kemuliaannya. Maka janganlah menikahi perempuan, kecuali dengan laki-laki yang (sekufu) seimbang."
Yang dimaksud seimbang atau hampir seimbang menurut pandangan para ulama ialah, meliputi agama, nasab, bentuk tubuhnya, harta benda dan pekerjaan. Seorang suami dalam melakukan pernikahan seharusnya niat mengikuti sunah rasul, dan memperbanyak umat Nabi Saw. Kemudian berbuat baik dalam kepemimpinan, menunjukan istrinya kepada yang hak, memelihara nilai nilai agama dan mengharap keturunan yg shaleh yang mendoakannya kelak
Rasulallahu bersabda :
إنمّا الأعمال بالنيات إنمّا لكل امرىءٍ ما نوى
Sesungguhnya perbuatan bergantung niat, sesungguh-nya setiap orang tergantung apa yang di niati-nya.
Sedangkan hal-hal yg perlu diperhatikan pada pribadi seorang istri adalah tidak ada sesuatu yang menolak pernikahan seperti dalam keadaan iddah dari suami pertama, mengerti makna yang terdapat didalam dua kalimat syahadat dan memeluk Islam.
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Prophet Saw. said:
Nabi Saw. bersabda:
"Seorang perempuan itu dinikahi karena sebab hartanya, kecantikannya, nasabnya dan agamanya, maka hendaklah engkau nikahi perempuan karena agamanya, maka kamu bahagia."
Nabi Muhammad Saw. bersabda:
"Barang siapa yg menikahi wanita karena hartanya dan kecantikannya, maka harta dan kecantikan wanita itu akan dihilangkan oleh Allah Swt. Dan barang siapa yg menikahi wanita karena agamanya, maka Allah akan memberi rizki pada harta dan kecantikannya"
Nabi Muhammad Saw. bersabda:
"Janganlah kamu menikahi wanita karena kecantikannya, bisa jadi kecantikannya akan membawanya lembah kehinaan. Dan jangan kamu menikahi wanita karena hartanya, bisa jadi dgn hartanya dia akan berbuat serong." Dan seharusnya kamu kawin dengan wanita yang memiliki pribadi yang baik.
Nabi Muhammad Saw. bersabda:
"Mohonlah perlindungan kepada Allah Swt. dari perkara yang dibenci. Mereka bertanya, 'Apakah perkara yang dibenci itu ya Rasulallah?' Beliau menjawab: 'Perkara yang dibenci itu adalah (1) Pemimpin yang berkhianat, yang merampas hakmu, (2) Tetangga yang jelek akhlak-nya, kedua matanya memandangmu sedangkan hatinya berpaling darimu. Jika dia melihat kebaikan maka dia menutup matanya, sedangkan jika melihat kejelekan, dia berusaha menyebarkan-nya. (3) Wanita yang menumbuhkan uban sebelum waktunya.'"
Wanita yang dinikahi tidak mandul, karena Nabi Saw. bersabda:
"Kawinlah kalian dengan wanita penyayang dan melahirkan anak yang banyak, karena sesungguhnya aku akan membanggakan jumlah kalian dihadapan umat lain. Dan janganlah kamu kawin dengan wanita yang tua dan mandul, karena sesungguhnya anak-anak dari seorang muslim berada dibawah bayang-bayang Arasy. Mereka dikumpulkan oleh bapaknya, yaitu nabi Ibrahim, kekasih Allah Swt. Mereka memohon ampunan untuk orang tua mereka."
Wanita yang dinikahi hendaknya perawan. Nabi Saw. bersabda: "Hendaklah kalian kawin dengan wanita-wanita perawan. Karena mereka lebih bersih mulutnya, lebih subur kuat birahinya, dan bagus pribadi-nya."
Wanita yang dinikahi adalah orang lain, karena Nabi Saw. bersabda: "Janganlah kalian kawin dengan wanita yang masih ada hubungan keluarga. Karena anak yang dilahirkan akan kurus."
Anak yang lahir kurus karena lemah syahwat. Tidak sama jika istri bukan berasal dari kerabat sendiri. Karena perempuan dari kerabat sendiri hanya mampu membangkitkan kekuatan rasa untuk menghidupkan syahwat saja. Namun jika dilihat dari sisi kehidupan dan keharmonisan, maka kawin dengan kerabat sendiri adalah paling spesial. Sebab perempuan yang masih ada hubungan kerabat jarang sekali menghianati suaminya. Dia biasanya sabar jika suaminya menyakiti hatinya,tidak menghina suaminya, tidak mudah tertarik pada laki-laki lain, dan perasaan cemburu kekerabatan yang ada pada diri perempuan terhadap suaminya tertanam melebihi perasaan cemburunya yang bersifat perjodohan keluarga.
Sifat-sifat seperti diatas tidak mudah ditemukan pada perempuan yang bukan kerabat, lebih-lebih apabila wanita yang masih kerabat itu wajahnya cantik jelita, karena hal itu bisa lebih mendatangkan kerukunan dan sejahtera . Hanya Allah Dzat Yang Memiliki Taufiq dan Hidayah.
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