He told me they were not planning to actually fire Oliver; just scare him into behaving. And I happened to be in a position to help out the management team at my new job. From my manager all of the way up to the CEO.
I could not read much business German, but I understood that I was being asked to sign something false against Oliver, who I had no quarrel with. But I also wanted to be a team player, to be on the good side of the management at the new company I was with. And I was naïve enough to believe Patrick that no real harm was intended.
After Oliver was fired, I went to the CEO and told him I wanted to take it back. He told me it was too late. Oliver was out. But not to worry, it was really for the best.
If I’d thought about it, I would have suspected earlier that since they were asking me to lie, they were probably also lying to me.
And that was the last time I fell for that.
Since then, I have sometimes found myself on the wrong side of power being abused. Looking back, there were situations I could have handled more tactfully. There were potential opportunities for negotiating options rather than simply parting ways. I have regretted not having thought of those. But I have not let myself get into another position where I regretted colluding with bullshit, because I haven’t again been cowardly and stupid enough to do that again.
Have I been fired? Yes. Yes, I have.
Has that really been so bad? Not really.
Finding myself in new jobs and situations has been both stimulating and amazing. I've met unbelievable people I would not have met. Also done really fun things I would never have experienced, which I am very grateful to have done.
If I had kept my head down and my mouth shut when things smelled like rot, I could've kept jobs that I’d liked. Also could've avoided some serious financial stress. But I also would have missed out on things I’d had no idea existed. My life (so far) would have been much less. Looking back, I don’t at all regret having rocked the boat a little. I would not trade some of the experiences I have had for all the security in a prison.
Also, it felt great to say what I actually thought. It was empowering. I’m hooked. Not a chance will I again choke my thoughts down out of fear of what might happen if I let them out. I admit, there is a lot to be said for the art of being tactful. And I am working on that. But whistle-blowing is the bomb.
Sometimes you need to be the one to rock the boat in calm waters to get the tides to go in your favor.
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