Assembly-Line Approach to the Criminal Justice System & Mental Health: Unjust & Insane (Part 13)

in worldwide-issue •  8 years ago  (edited)

 Chapter 13   
 

$1.6 Million Dollar Settlement Check & a whole lot of really great friends and family.
 

We went into court and get a settlement check for $1.6 Million dollars and with that money, I started to invest and help a lot of people.  (This was all just a dream) The only thing that meant anything to me was to see a happy world around me again, and be able to share it with my family and friends.  I got paid my unpaid work hours and I sued that place as well.  Then I took over the business and I was giving better care to people that needed better care then what I and my mom were getting.  We bought a nice home and nice furniture and I bought my mom a house that she had never had.  I showed my family just how much that they meant to me without ever having to say a thing.  I was able to thank my girlfriend and take her out and show her how much I appreciated everything that she had done.  Even though everyone thought we were not fit for each other, I showed people just how much that she made it matter to me that I would hopefully get some miraculous help.  She was the only person that believed in me when I felt like I had no one.  And, there was a few other friends as well but no one willing to deal with or do all the things she had done besides my buddy Ben.  She was there for me in a way where I had no one.  I couldn’t thank her enough so I took her out and surprised her in a way that she’d never thought I could do.  With where my life had taken a turn – I was in it til the end.  Even if we had gone separate ways I wanted her to know – that I appreciated her for everything that she had done, and was more then willing to do, when she had a lot going on herself at the time, and I wasn’t such a good friend or boyfriend because I couldn’t do the things that I wanted to.  I didn’t know how to be one dealing with the things that I was going through, so I bought her something nice and gave it to her.  I was able to go see my friends again, and make some incredible new friends as well – people that I didn’t know right now were already there and making things feel like home again, and making things feel real.  I felt as though I was scared for what I was fighting for.  Because the happy ending was all in my heart and I couldn’t project it into the world.  I bought toys and trains and remote control cars – because I just wanted to be a kid again having overwhelming emotions from my child-hood memories, and so I’d spend it with whatever time I had left with my family and my friends.  The fireplace was warm, and if I was feeling sick, or sore – I could either jump in a Jacuzzi or in my steam shower.  I had everything that I ever wished for!  I had a family again that I wanted for years.  Thirty-five years to be exact.  And, just before my birthday – someone got me something really little and I won’t say what it was, because it was personal, but it was something that meant more to me then all of this did.  It was the best gift that I felt I could get.  And, along with it I had my family back and the times that I was fighting for so long.  I had fun with my nieces and nephews like I couldn’t do before, and fun with my family and we just celebrated our success together in such a way that was beyond beautiful.  (I could smile again) It was to me what I wanted, and that was my happy ending.  And, I told my readers and all of my friends – that I loved them more then this whole world ever had to give.  (I did what I wanted to do here) And, it came from my heart, and not from the money that I made up from the past…  it came from a place of where I was trying to get to – so that people could see for themselves if what I got in the end was what I deserved from my past.  Reaching and reaching out to no end.  I just wanted to say thanks to all the people that helped me out, and no matter what had happened with me on this earth, I wanted them to know that I’ve been protected since birth.  I was protected by a fire that I felt inside.  I was protected to dream up anything and everything I asked for.  And, I just had to believe that all of this could still come true.  And, in that hope – or prayer, I did it – I made it.  Whether it happened here, or whether it happened in the afterlife.  I was happy because I finally made something of myself and I could do more with the beautiful people that were all living a hard life next door.
 

Do you believe that better things come to those who wait?  I can believe that better things can still come, but I knew somehow that God was holding my heart today like always.  I knew that God was working in a bigger way these days then I felt ever before.  I felt God working in me and my life.  Tooth and nail I fought, and I cried so hard!  It hurt!
 

Thank you for being here for me.  Thank you for being along my path.  Whether I was a good friend or a bad one – I wanted you to know that I ask for your forgiveness.  I wanted to show you just how much that I cared.  If you were in my life – I loved you, and no one could take that away from me.  I wanted to create a story with a happy ending, because what I was going through didn’t seem as though I could get that happy ending or outcome.  But, I prayed in Jesus’ name.  And, I knew that my heart was protected with a fire from heaven.  I knew that my prayers were reaching heaven and returning home to me.  I knew that God was listening to me.  And, that was the only thing that I needed at the time, because I knew that this whole life was like a blink of an eye, in comparison to whatever happened to our hearts in the end.  I just knew that I wanted to go there, and that I didn’t want to be here dealing with all of this anymore.  I wanted more, and I wanted to pour my heart out.  I did it in such a way where I knew you couldn’t deny what my heart was for.  I was telling you all how I felt and what I was going through, and I wanted to share my world in a more beautiful way with you then I was able to.  From the beginning, it seemed as though we were up against a lot, but in the end we were only up against one thing.  And, that was our own hearts that we were up against.  All of us have been tricked in a way that shouldn’t have ever been.  For I believe if we weren’t that we’d be in a far better place right now – here on earth, as it is in heaven.  I was given my daily bread and I’ve forgiven my trespassers and who trespassed against me.  I was led not into temptation and delivered from my sins, for I knew thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory. (I prayed for things from my own heart and I believed I would get them.) And then, I said, Amen.
 

This story is dedicated to my loved ones and my loved ones lost.  If I could have done more, I don’t know how much more that I could have done, because I prayed with you in my hearts, and I loved you all so much.  I missed you, and I wanted to see you. 

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