I absolutely loved this story. I went from disliking Verna to laughing with her to feeling for her in a short time span. I agree with your assessment, that the present time works so well, I've noticed lately many aspiring writers seem to avoid writing in present tense, but it just moves this story forward so well.

I particularly liked the ending of the story as well. Which is her plans for covering up, how things will play out. And here the young naive Verna seems to come back, not thinking about cameras and about being seen wandering into Bob's room. I like that. You can feel the rush of adrenaline making her think she's on top of the world.

I did read 'the Handmaid's Tale' before, and can definitely recommend it. And I do like that it has a critique / feminist / social notion underneath the story. Without that, stories seem less attractive to me. But with too much of it, when a message is in your face and too obvious and doesn't let the reader make up his own mind, it's horrendous. This mix of having something to say and writing a story is the kind of mix I look for in my stories. Hopefully one day I'll reach the level of Atwood to be able to do precisely that.