The kittens, snug against my legs, stealing my warmth.
They think. I’m truly the one stealing the heat from their bodies.
I try to distract, I try to perform non think. But the think happens. The thoughts creep in and take over.
Like burglars in the night, they take me away from my warm bed to
somewhere cold. Somewhere dark. Lonely.
I can’t see, it’s so dark. I can’t feel. It’s so nothing.
My bare feet, crunching against the lost.
The forgotten.
Was it ever?
I never truly had it. It wasn’t mine to begin with.
all I gave. Until the giving was gone.
I turn on the tv, hoping for a distraction.
Take me out of the cold. Give me a light. A breath.
Just a little.
The kittens stir their little kitten sleeps, whiskers twitching in a kitten game. Oblivious to the cold and gloom that surrounds us. Or, is it only me?
Lost and lone on a highway of no-thing. Ever leading to more empty. It is only me.
The happy tv people have no idea what it’s like to be cold. To be forgotten.
I wish I could sleep like the kittens. I wish I could happy like the tv people. A happy ending every thirty minutes.
It’s what I do at 2:30 in the morning when I can’t sleep.
A special thank you to the bright and lovely @mariannewest for hosting the daily 5 minute #Freewrite challenge and to all the brave and strong freewriters ♡
image via pixabay
I appreciate your support :)
With Love and Light and Good Mojo to my Tribe!
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If you found this post after day 7 please consider upvoting a recent article ♡
Hey Babe, this little fella is the cutest.
Or is it this one?
It's a tie for me. 😉
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Kitten pics...
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Awes! Cuddly ones, too! <3
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^_^ upvoted
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@arbitrarykitten now you got me all excited Late at Night !
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aw /hugs
That was cute ;)
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Hugs right back, thank you <3
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Great piece. Does it help clear your mind and allow sleep to come to you once more?
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Eventually... I am a survivor of a kidnapping and attempted murder- the assailant broke in as I slept. Sleep takes a while to find me...
Thank you ♡
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I can't imagine the trauma... must so hard to get rid of the psychological consequences. Im really sorry to hear that @arbitrarykitten
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You know what the craziest side effect is? I no longer hear alarms! Blasting, across the room, no matter. I'll sleep for hours with them blaring so loud the neighbors are fuming!
It is what it is. And yes, it's drastically changed me. But I choose to live each day <3
Thank you
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The brain follows it's own safeguard mechanisms..did you ever try martial arts? I don't mean fashion/fanatic/aggressive stuff..I mean the real good thing.
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I practice kung fu and ninjutsu. Definitely the real thing! And I am (when I have time) learning jeet kuun do, on my own as there are no instructors anywhere near me. And I coach boxing for the urban youth league :) I LOVE martial arts
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That is terrible. Sleep should be safe place. Sending you positive vibes. Peace and love
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Thank you hun <3
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That makes your son's experience at the school double traumatic. My heart goes out to you. Hugs!!!
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Hugs back to you sweets <3
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Fine piece of writing, particularly since you did that in 5 minutes.
(Something similar would take me a day or more to write, change, edit, rewrite, edit, scrap, etc, ad infinitum.)
I really like this line ... "I wish I could be happy like the tv people. A happy ending every thirty minutes."
It says so much more than the simple words say.
p.s. It should read "be happy." :-)
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I actually meant I wish I could 'happy' like them. Like happy is a thing they do, not being happy :)
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Excellent. Extra marks (well, extra vote%) for being creative, and a few more extra for being surprisingly creative.
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good idea,thanks
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Glad I could help ;)
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Hugs to you sweetie! I don't wish those nights on anyone. Those moments when you tell yourself it's okay, things check out, but your heart and your lungs don't believe you. Do you have something that you can hold in your hand that won't hurt you if you fall asleep holding it and roll over onto it? Maybe something that your boys made for you? When I was younger I had a marble alarm in my room and after it would go off I would have the hardest time falling back to sleep. I would hold this bookmark my grandma gave me. It had a tassle with a metal sun on the end and I would run my fingers over the Sun and strain my ears to listen to my room. I don't know if it was the repetitive motion or just the pure exhaustion but I think that having an object in my hand made me feel grounded. Maybe a talisman would help you? I'm glad that you have/are taking courses to strengthen and grow. It's good to know that you have a strong set of claws to protect yourself with. Take care and I wish you nights of warmth and dreams of joy.
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Well, there is always a feline to cuddle, which is helpful :)
Thank you so much doll :)
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Who doesn't want it? But I think It would be a little boring in the long term.
Welcome in my followed people! I'm trying to follow and support all the freewriters. :)
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I knew this prompt would elicit some "deeper" responses. And given your history well...sending you my good vibes all the way from NY.
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and today's prompt https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/day-28-5-minute-freewrite-prompt-ooze
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Nice writing! I know the feeling when you're awake in the middle of the night and all you do is think about random things! I hope you had the chance to sleep some more! :)
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Lol yes, I did :)
Thank you!
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