One afternoon, at Christmas time, my hubby and I were curled up on a friend’s couch watching some holiday programming. As usual, we were inundated with the typical santa themed merchandising commercials but one stood out among all the rest. Apple had the most impactful commercial for their advertising campaign that year and it was tastefully done. For 30 seconds we were mesmerized by a storyline based on a awkward looking teenage boy. We witnessed a variety of scenes where the family was partaking in holiday events and the boy was always on the outskirts of the action. The end reveal presented the main character unveiling his amazing compilation video of the family events and was the recipient of adoration and praise. The brilliance of this commercial was that it was all the nonverbal communication for there wasn’t a single word of dialogue spoken.

What happened next was a life changing experience for me. When I described how I saw the commercial my husband looked at me in shock. I described a socially outcasted boy that didn’t feel like he belonged anywhere in the family unit. He kept his distance from all the group activities and finally felt redeemed and accepted by his family with his creation. As I was wiping the tears from my eyes, my hubby explained that that was not at all what he saw. He saw the young boy taking on the role of a journalist and that his distance from the family was intentional. By being an observer he could capture amazing cameos of his family with the intent on creating the expected complilation. I was incredulous, how could we have seen two completely different stories? Simple, the answer lies in the each person’s perspective which is formed deep in the heart of the beholder.

Bits 2K

It is scientifically proven that we only visually register a fraction of what our eyes actually see. I have further explained this phenomena in my articles: How are my observation skills and my reality connected and Brain start my reality program so I will summarize here. Dr. Joseph Dispenza, D.C, in the movie, What the Bleep do we know, states: "The brain process 4 billion bits of information a SECOND and we are only aware of 2000 of those.” 2000??? That’s pitiful. How do we pick and choose which 2000 bits make the cut? Well we pick the visual cues that match what we already believe. That statement in itself is mind blowing for often we look at our outside world for evidence of our beliefs. Nope, they are just a manifestation of what already is in our minds; not the other way around. That is how we get stuck in endless patterns for in order to change our outside world our belief profile must be changed. Changing partners, locations or jobs will only give you temporary relief for in order to eradicate those situations in your life the belief that drew them in must be addressed. Believe me, I changed partners, my job and even my country and I have similar personalities and struggles with the people here; I’m the common denominator.

To me there was an obvious question that needed to be asked, what are we missing with the other 3,998,000 bits? Would we feel the same if we saw more information or a different perspective first glance? It made me question very seriously what I see in every situation of my life and why I see it that way. I am combining my visual interpretations of events with my emotional response but that is causing tunnel vision. Who would I be if I didn’t have this belief? Logic dictates that once my beliefs are addressed that my current paradigm will shift.

Getting off the Merry-Go-Round

All I do know is that by constantly focusing on the ever present patterns in my life and reacting to those I’ve been running in circles. It’s the definition of insanity to do the same thing over and over again and expect different results. When have you heard of an example where being symptom orientated producing long lasting results? Yet we have countless people in our counselling systems that are supposedly working on their problems and the level of success is questionable. The premise of healing is like a broken record, in order to solve a problem you must first identify it but what are they really identifying? When trauma happens the event does not need to be hashed out over and over again, instead the beliefs that we create in those situations do. Something as simple as not trusting people with a certain feature will impact us in ways we cannot even imagine. Being exposed to someone with that feature will cause us to make decisions, either consciously or unconsciously, that change the trajectory of the event from what we would have chosen originally.

The secret lies in approaching each event in our life as a blank page even though it may seem foreign to do so. If there were 100 people watching that video from completely different cultures and backgrounds how many different perceptions would there be? I decided to test this theory the other day when I found a glove in the wastepaper basket. My hubby had purchased this exfoliating glove (he uses it after he shaves and remains angry-neck and zit free) and I found it in the garbage. I had expressed earlier to my husband that I might want to try that glove out and there it was. My mind went to the first place it usually goes with men and that they don’t care about me or my feelings. That belief is deeply rooted compliments of exposure to my father. Needless to say the familiar feelings began to bubble and I could feel myself getting upset. I remembered this process of trying to view things differently and all I could muster was to wait until my husband came home to ask him. In the meantime, I tapped on the feelings that came up and hoped it was enough to approach the situation from a neutral space. He came home and informed me that the glove was the worst he ever tried and threw it out for he didn't want to waste my time. Am I ever glad that I took the time to reframe my thinking for I had allowed my past to poison my judgment and almost unleashed that on my hubby. Since then I apply the same process whenever the thought crosses my mind; it has been rewarding.

Today I will remind myself in the moments of judgment that I may not be seeing the whole picture. I allow my mind to open to thought that I can see something different.