The Odyssey Offline: A Response to "10 Things Worse Than Male Birth Control"

in writing •  8 years ago 

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Recently a study came to light that was conducted from 2011 to 2012 regarding the creation of a male hormonal birth control. This birth control was a shot that males during the study would receive every eight weeks.

Okay this all seems pretty straight forward. Just the parameters of the "birth control" being administered.

The shot contained “progestin” a synthesized version of progesterone. This synthesized dose caused lower testosterone levels which in turn created a reduced sperm count. The study examined sexual activity between men taking the contraceptive and women who were forgoing hormonal contraceptives. This study resulted in only four pregnancies while it was being conducted. So, where is this magical miracle drug? Apparently, this study was pulled when the men in the study, approximately 3% to be exact, began to experience side effects of mood swings, depression, and even gasp acne. THE HORROR! Of course, because we live in a world where fragile masculinity is rampant, the study was ended and we are still without this helpful product. Let’s remember that equivalent drugs for women often result in these side effects in an estimated 30% of women. That’s a tenfold difference. So, for all my man friends who think that some measly side effects would be the end of the world for you, here are 10 things that would actually be worse than a few zits and sadness:

Okay, there's a lot to unpack in this paragraph. I know you're trying to be funny, but it really falls flat. And I see you buy into that "masculinity so fragile" shtick. Before you did that though, you should have actually looked into why this study was cut short. An article from NPR stated, "Some men also developed mood swings and in some cases those mood swings got pretty bad. One man developed severe depression, and another tried to commit suicide. Because of that, they cut the study short." I don't know about you, but I think depression and attempted suicides are pretty good reasons to cut a study short. The thing that you need to understand is that there is no such thing as an entirely safe/miracle drug. Everything has side effects. Case in point: I took anti-depressants for awhile and experienced side effects, such as sleep deprivation, daytime fatigue, and INCREASED DEPRESSION. As a full time graduate student that was something I could not afford to do at the time so I got off of them. Am I a weaker person mentally because I "couldn't handle the side effects"? Now I know you pointed out acne, but in some cases, it was pretty severe. Is some acne the worst thing in the world? Of course not, but you are so smug and condescending that you completely neglect to mention the actual reason that this study was ended.

Man Flu
Man Flu is totally real. You are definitely dying, it’s not just a cold. Better get your will in order because it’s over for sure.

As someone who gets the flu every year, I take some Nyquil, eat some soup, and get better. Deal with it.

Getting a splinter
Damn, that can hurt. You got a boo boo? Just think if you have kids, your mom can’t kiss your boo boos anymore. She’ll be too busy kissing your kids’ boo boos.

Getting a splinter isn't that bad. Pull it out and move on.

Your barbecue being ruined
What do you mean that Joe brought veggie burgers? What the hell?! You’re a meat loving man. #WheresTheBeef?

Well if it's my barbecue, I would have the foresight to get the right stuff beforehand. I would have gotten beef, hot dogs, the works. So that really isn't an issue for me.

Your favorite football team losing constantly
Get ready to sob your way through Sunday night football for the third week in a row. There go your Superbowl dreams. Guess you’ll have to enjoy the commercials.

I was a St. Louis Rams fan for over 10 years...my team losing doesn't faze me anymore.

Not being able to watch an action movie ever again
Your girlfriend doesn’t like the way that you check out Scarlett Johannson every time you turn on The Avengers, so she hid all your action flicks. Get ready for a good cry because you’ll be watching every Nicholas Sparks’ movie known to man for the foreseeable future.

Yeah but if I said something about how my girlfriend (I'm single though, but for hypothetical's sake) about how I don't like the way she checks out Chris Hemsworth or Ryan Gosling? Then what? Then I'm suddenly "insecure", "jealous", and "petty". Even more so if I hid all the chick flicks. I'm just saying let's flip the pendulum the other way and see how well it goes over.

A gay dude checking you out
Bruh, you mean that dude shot you a look across the bar? Not cool. Better check out that chick he’s with so you know that you’re super hetero.

What if you aren't hetero though?

Ladies night at the strip club
Yeah let’s hit the strip club! Ladies night? You like ladies, you should definitely check that out. Oh s#!%, those are not the “poles” you were looking for.

Anyone that is going to be in this study knows what ladies night is.....I shouldn't have even dignified this statement with a response, but oh well.

Your wife beater tank top ripping
Your favorite yard work, beer drinkin’, football watchin’ tank. It already had holes in it but now it’s completely ruined, not even your mom can patch it this time.

I hardly wear a wife beater tank top. Almost never in fact and if it rips badly enough, I throw it away.

Drinking fruity drink
Sex on the beach? Nah, you’re a PBR man. That fruity crap isn’t for you. You chug that beer and crush the can on your head.

Okay first off, PBR isn't that great. It's not even my favorite. And what if I told you someone could drink fruity beer, such as Redd's?

Hmm, I don’t know… maybe raising another human for at least 18 years…
Personally, I think that raising and being responsible for an actual person for at least 18 years would be a pretty sucky tradeoff for a little mood swings and some zits. Raising a child to adulthood in the current American market can cost you upwards of $245,000. Seems a little ridiculous to me. That's 245,000 McChickens. Wouldn't you rather have some McChickens?

I would actually have some McChickens, but I'd also rather have intellectually honest arguments being presented. Something you aren't doing.

Here’s the thing, sex is fine and good, hell it can (hopefully) be great most of the time. But the reality is that sex between men and women can result in pregnancy and that is a risk that is ever present. Abstinence until marriage, while great in theory, isn’t how our society works anymore. More and more young adults are engaging in sexual activity. Furthermore, if you are pro life at all, having sex, and don't want a child, then maybe this is something you should start advocating for, not just the sex positive world. The point is that if you are going to have sex and you don’t want kids, then you should take precautions against pregnancy and know your options. For decades, we have been searching for a male counterpart for contraceptives and we nearly had one, only for it to be shattered by men who were unable to handle their emotions. The time has come to accept some of the side effects and swallow your pride because men should be just as responsible for pregnancy prevention as women are.

Both parties taking responsibility is the only cogent thing you have said in this whole article. But I'm going to gloss over that in once again saying the study wasn't killed because of "men who were unable to handle their emotions". If you actually looked into the study and had even a basic understanding of it, you would know how poorly formed the study was.

A blog post by Dr. Jen Gunter goes a bit more in depth with this study and its failure.

A couple key points from this post:

  • Four significant issues with the study

**"A significant percentage of adverse events came from one study center
None of the men appeared to have been formally screened for depression beforehand.
“Emotional disorders” weren’t defined in the paper (perhaps they were in the study), I’m a doctor and I don’t know what that means
For 5 men it took > 52 weeks (but less than 74 weeks) for spermatogenesis to recover. One man still had no return of adequate sperm for fertility at 4 years"

  • "The study was halted early as one of two independent safety panels took issue with the high rate of side effects. This wasn’t the researchers saying, “Oh these poor men.” This was an independent review board. The adverse events that raised concerns were: acne (45%), increased libido (38%), “emotional disorder” (16.9%), injection site pain (23.1%) and myalgias (or muscle pain, 16.3%). One man committed suicide, which somehow the researchers said wasn’t related to the drug because his family said he was stressed at work, and one attempted suicide."

In closing, I feel bad for having read your clickbait bullshit. I could have had a much better use of my time than responding to this, but I feel like whenever I see something stupid, I just can't let it go.

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